35 practical steps men can take to support feminism

ObjectivistAnCap · 2014-08-19T18:27:08+00:00

When a woman tells you something is sexist, believe her.

No matter how frivolous or completely ludicrous a claim of sexism is, believe it because vagina.

Ensure that some of your heroes and role models are women.

I was taught to judge people based on the content of their character.

Don’t treat your spouse like a “nag.” If she is “nagging,” you are probably lagging.

TIL: Women can NEVER nag. If you perceive her as nagging, that's just you "lagging" like the brutish man you are.

Find female mentors/leaders. (i.e., Be subordinate to women.)

"Be subordinate to women." I think this is a good place to stop reading.

rg57 · 2014-08-19T21:02:33+00:00

Well, this list is probably a good one, to "support feminism". However, it's pretty bad for men.

tl;dr - I reject the idea that men (and only men) should ensure that they never end up in the "+" column of anything, ever.

Biased. "50% (or more)" A couple (who might both be male) should divide up the labor as they see fit. They may reasonably decide someone should do all the housework.
Biased. See 1.
Biased. The content someone seeks out should be based on the quality of the content. If women have something quality to say about something, it will make its way to the top. People don't need to hunt it down.
Validates private paranoia and misandric prejudice. I would say, do exactly the opposite. Sit next to someone of a different gender. Break down that barrier.
Hah. If feminism would have me, I'd be there, interrupting its sexism. It suppresses dissent, so I'm here.
No. As rational beings, we apply logic to the evidence. We don't have to be (and will not be labelled) uncaring, when we do that. In this world, evidence and logic are all we have in common to go on. These tools are available to all.
I will simply be recording my activities, for use in the event of a false accusation. Thanks, feminism.
No. First, I'm gay. But as a man, I think it's f---ing ridiculous to expect the man to be responsible for contraception. Male surgical contraception is not covered under ACA, but up to 18 different kinds of female contraception (surgical and otherwise) are covered. Since we're all paying for that, it's HER responsibility. A smart man will want to take care of himself and will use his own condom, and dispose of it himself, but a woman who doesn't want to get pregnant needs to be an adult and prevent that pregnancy using any one of the 18 or so methods everyone else is paying for.
Vaccines makes sense, particularly for young men, and not because of women (otherwise they would have been included in the original group to be vaccinated). Men are at risk for a variety of cancers due to HPV, due to changing sexual attitudes and practices. These are often preventable with a simple vaccine.
Biased. Good grief, we're picking on people's NAMES now? I would repeat her own words back to her, verbatim: "If having a common surname with your spouse is important to you, be willing to change your surname and treat this as a preferable option"
Biased. "you are doing at least 50% of the work" Further, the law often doesn't even permit men to take a 50% role in raising a child, because the law and employers don't allow men the same flexibility.
Biased. "pay attention to whether it is mostly/only women [working]"
People do what they do. They make what they make. And they negotiate what they negotiate, in their living arrangements. To assume any imbalance is due to some imagined "privilege" is to reduce the reality (some of which may be a genuine wrong, and some of which may be normal) down to a cartoon.
I agree that partners should be treated with respect, regardless of gender. BUT, people actually are individuals, not walking symbols of group-membership, and I will treat them as individuals, according to my interactions with them.
I'm way ahead of you, Pamela and Lindsay. (By the way, did you read this when you wrote it?)
Biased. "women still make less than men overall (and live longer) [so they need men to give them money]" It's shameful that what should normally be good relationship advice has to be turned into sexist garbage. Even without the sexism, this is still an issue for each couple to work out on their own.
I agree that men's health is a serious issue. At least in my community, in terms of staffing with doctors, it's not treated seriously. Even the urologists seem scared to talk about penises. I suspect some men might get better service from a vet or farmer. Men aren't stupid. We just don't like wasting our time.
Basic censorship and sexuality-shaming.
I've noticed a general decline in news reporting as it has become more blonde-with-glasses. Is that the change you're looking for?
No, I will not change who I regard as heroic to satisfy any other person. Really it's breathtaking the nerve this person has.
Biased. " Suggest your female friends for projects, jobs, and collaborations"
You know what? I'll decide for myself what I think should be called out, and who to call out.
Biased, and a rush to judgment, and flies in the face of medical evidence. "If she is nagging, you are probably lagging." Maybe. Or maybe she's just a nag. They exist. While our society has cultivated a preference for sanitized purity, that is not actually the normal state for a lot of people who are just as good, just as healthy, just as organized as everyone else. Studies show that nags shorten lives of those they nag. That should be the only thing we need to know on this subject. Stop nagging.
Fair enough. But you first, Pamela and Lindsay, to show this isn't just a game. Your own sexism includes the idea that feminism represents women, instead of just feminists.
Biased. And also it doesn't scale well. A person can only really have a handful of true friends at any one time. Do I need to have one who is Chinese? And one who is Muslim? By the way, how do I convince my friends that I've chosen this way that they aren't the tokens they so obviously are, to fill this absurd formula?
Biased. "Be subordinate to women"
Again, this is something for a couple to work out amongst themselves. Some people have an aptitude for this, or have more spare time due to different work schedule.
I will criticize anyone's appearance that I want to. Particularly if women are going to spend tons of money essentially to walk around in a disguise all day (regardless of the reason), I get to critique it. If you don't want to be judged like a labradoodle, put down the makeup, and act like a serious person.
See 4.
Again, stay out of other people's relationships. But I agree that young men (and women and everyone else) should be warned about how the concept of sexual consent is stacked against them, and they can find themselves in a heap of trouble if someone regrets what she did last night, or is seeking revenge for something. Do not have sex with anyone unless you can prove to someone else that they consented.
This reveals hypocrisy. In this case, a man is held responsible for anticipating what he might do while drunk. Women bear no such responsibility.
Testicle-shaming "don’t sit with your legs splayed"
Rush to judgment, bad math, and misandry "consider donating a symbolic 23% of your income"

If we accept the numbers, a woman makes $0.77 for each $1.00 a man makes.
If he donates 23% to a woman, that woman will have $1.00, and the man will have $0.77 (there may be some slight changes due to women being a slight majority of the population, but the numbers are good enough for this example)

Anyone remotely interested in equality (but not a PhD Candidate in Political Science at York University) would only ask for a donation of 11.5% so that each person gets $0.88 and a half cent.

Of course, I don't buy the 77% number to begin with.
Outright bigotry. "your maleness [is] an unearned privilege that you have to actively work to cede"
LOL "Self-identify as a feminist"

EDIT:

On Pamela's page, she added #36 "Talk candidly with other men about the ways that gender expectations have been hurtful to you."

But what she really means is "talk to MRAs because nobody would possibly disagree with feminism unless they were mentally ill"

In any case, I do hope more men talk with MRAs. It will grow the movement.

iNQpsMMlzAR9 · 2014-08-19T19:11:52+00:00

Don’t be an online bystander in the face of sexism.

Challenge people who make, say, or post sexist things on the Internet, especially on social media.

I thought feminists wanted us to stop doing this.

anonlymouse · 2014-08-19T13:18:08+00:00

If you're going to post something like this, do it through archive.today

ChickenMcVincent · 2014-08-19T13:18:18+00:00

A completely unbiased list about areas where we men really need to improve. Not sexist and biased at all. A great read.

xkuromi · 2014-08-19T17:31:17+00:00

The only point that I agree with (and not because of feminism) is 11. If you have children, be an equal parent.

Be willing to take paternity leave and to stay home and care for them when they are young. Divide childcare responsibilities so that you are doing at least 50% of the work, and ensure it is divided such that you and your partner both get to spend an equal amount of “play” time with your children too.

The wording she uses bothers me a bit but other than that I don't think many men take a paternity leave to bond with their newborns so I think this is a good idea.

Everything else is retardation. Why do I need feminism to ask my hubby/boyfriend to clean up after himself? 20. Ensure that some of your heroes and role models are women. So be fake? It either happens or it doesn't. You can't force yourself to like something because of x. I feel bad for the men that do try to live up to this shit pile of a list.

LambsandLions · 2014-08-19T15:48:56+00:00

My favorite was the one about managing money. It basically said, make sure you supply your woman with money. This is feminism because wage gap. Lets forget that women control 83% of domestic spending so they are probably the ones running up the credit card bills.

Mel_Gibsons_Sanity · 2014-08-19T21:34:02+00:00

23 sums up the majority of feminism.

Even if a woman is something, you can't tell her, and it's your fault anyway.

This is the shit that drives me bat shit insane. This is a 35 step guide on how to shape the earth for women only and absolve them of any responsibility. A 35 step guide on how to not be an individual anymore, but nothing more than a pawn for women.

2014-08-19T22:27:36+00:00

If having a common surname with your spouse is important to you, be willing to change your surname and treat this as a preferable option to your spouse changing hers.

That doesn't sound very equal.

TracyMorganFreeman · 2014-08-19T22:37:09+00:00

You need to do your share of housework all the time...

Then women need to have a full time career for 20+ years of your life without being specially induced as well.

...that being responsible for this takes away time and energy from things they find fulfilling.

"Emotional labor" being such a nebulous term it's largely useless notwithstanding, when did supporting your partner suddenly become not fulfilling?

... ensure that women’s voices and women’s cultural products are represented in what you are consuming. If they are not, make an effort to seek them out.

Yeah, I consume products based on what I like and enjoy, not who produced them.

Many women walk around -- especially at night or while alone -- feeling on edge and unsafe. Being in close physical proximity to an unknown man can exacerbate this feeling...

Are they willing to use the same logic for white people being afraid of blacks?

Examples: If a seat is available on public transit next to a man, take that seat rather than one next to a woman.

Sorry, but I don't treat women like defenseless snowflakes who can't handle the real world, where sometimes on the subway you might have to sit next to a stranger.

... cross the street so that she doesn’t have to worry someone is following her.

Sorry, but I'm taking the shortest route to whatever I'm going. Sometimes, in the real world, two people will share the same portion of their route.

If a woman is standing alone on a subway platform, stand some distance away from her.

Anyone who's lived in a big city, or at least been to one knows during rush hour this is unreasonable, as you will be surrounded by women at all sides.

If you see a female friend in a bar/at a party/on the subway/wherever looking uncomfortable ...

I'm not going to treat women like defenseless children, nor ignore the point of a joke, which is that it isn't to be taken seriously.

If you see a situation where a woman looks like she may be in distress while in the company of a man...

I'm willing to intercede for anyone who might actually be distress, but I'm not going to make special accommodations for women.

...Making yourself feel momentarily uncomfortable is a fair tradeoff for making a woman feel more comfortable.

Women actually asserting themselves can be super difficult and awkward too, and making yourself momentarily uncomfortable is a fair tradeoff to being infantilized and undermining your own confidence.

When a woman tells you something is sexist, believe her.

No one's opinion is beyond reproach.

Educate yourself about sexual consent and make sure there is clear, unambiguous communication of consent in all your sexual relationships.

Be responsible for contraception.

Get the HPV vaccine.

This goes for women too.

If you are in a relationship where contraception is necessary...

Well for men all they have is surgery or condoms, and women can insist their partners use condoms as well.

Assume financial responsibility for any costs related to contraception

No. In the adult world, you're responsible for your own sex life.

Since women are the ones who are disproportionately affected by the consequences of HPV

Actually HPV 16 and 18, the chief strains responsible for cervical cancer, also greatly increase the chance for anal and throat cancer in men, and to relatively similar degrees.

If you and your female partner decide that the institution of marriage is something you want to be involved with, be willing to both keep your existing surnames

Both partners should be willing to consider the others preferences.

Vanster101 · 2014-08-19T23:26:52+00:00

Educate yourself about sexual consent and make sure there is clear, unambiguous communication of consent in all your sexual relationships.

Don't I just know it...

johnmarkley · 2014-08-19T23:42:26+00:00

When a woman tells you something is sexist, believe her.

OK, sure. Allison Tieman says feminism is sexist. I believe her. Do I get my pat on the head now?

likely-story · 2014-08-19T23:49:44+00:00

You know some of these are outrageous, sure, but there's some good ones as well. Such as:

Men go to the doctor less often than women for issues troubling them, and when they do, it’s often at the urging of women in their lives. To have a long and healthy partnered life for both you and your spouse means being responsible for your own health, noting any issues, and taking them seriously. Since we’re dependent on one another, your long-term health is also her long-term health.

This is very true and doesn't strike me as sexist, but maybe that's because I can relate (my wife's urging has been responsible for several of my doctor's visits).

Title	35 practical steps men can take to support feminism
Author	ChickenMcVincent
Upvotes	13
Comments	29
Date	August 19, 2014 1:15 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/mensrights/comments/2dza0e/35-practical-steps-men-can-take-to-support-/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/35-practical-steps-men-can-take-to-support.1620252 https://theredarchive.com/post/1620252

Comments

23 sums up the majority of feminism.