Advice for the dating world

Complex-Stress373 · 2021-11-23T01:35:59+00:00

just dont fantasy, dont create fictions feelings or intentions from her in your head. be objective and clear

SgtRinzler · 2021-11-23T14:40:33+00:00

Set your boundaries and expectations up front, and expect her to do the same. If she has none, red flag. If she's not okay with you having them, red flag. Be smart. Be what you want in your partner. Don't jump to conclusions, but don't waste your time either.

slipkid223 · 2021-11-22T23:31:26+00:00

The only way to win this game is to not play

GarretLeFerret · 2021-11-22T23:03:05+00:00

Below is my Magnum Opus

If she doesn't like herself, their is no point pretending she is capable of liking you. Watch how she treats others, notice if she's rude to a server or her relatives, she'll proabably be just as mean to you, when she let's her gaurd down. Pay attention for lies, if reality seems optional to her, how can you be expected to trust her? Crazy women need therapists, not a spineless bitch to boss around. Paying attention for red flags is key.

If you want to go whoring, go a whoring. If you want to go courting, go a courting. But whatever you do, don't lead her on. It's not honorable and for God's sake man that's someone's daughter. The last thing a young man in the 21st century is a vengeful broad on his back. Honesty is the best policy, Do unto the world, what you want from the world.

On the subject of you. If you're unattractive, women will find you unattractive (life is torment). You can improve yourself, thats one of the key tenets of masculinity. Eating well and Exercise aught to do the trick, brush your teeth, use deodorant, wear nice things and shower regularly (not only will it improve your attractiveness, it will make you bolder). If you've had the serious misfortune to be born into this world genetically ugly (in my experience few people are), you may have to lower your standards or get massively wealthy. If you're a manlet marry an Amazon. If you're incredibly intelligent to the point of awkwardness pursue stupid game, she may teach you a thing or two. Opposites attract afterall.

If you don't think she'll agree with you politically, don't talk about politics, it's that simple. Find something you both like in common (who in the hell wants to talk about politics anyways?). Don't ask about her former Lovers (if she has any).

Above all don't hold your manhood cheap. For fucks sake man you're the most dominant predator on earth, our biggest past time for the last ten thousand years is getting together in big groups and murdering other big groups. Have some Bravado, women aren't after pussies (besides lesbians). I know it's hard fighting cowardice, but put on a stone face the worst she could do is reject you and be callous. Compared to the unspeakable evils you could dish out on a small woman, not that bad really.

I know it's hard as a Compatriot, it can feel like the weight of the world has plopped on to your shoulders, but you have to continue on your path, one foot in front of the other. Don't look back and you'll get through.

Damnit man don't be afraid to woo her, if she wants romance, and you want romance, be a romantic. Their is no shame in it, I know it can be difficult, but practice makes perfect. If you need practice than get some practice. Tell her nice things and whisper pretty words in her ear. Say things like gorgeous, beautiful, or ravishing. Tell her she looks like Aphrodite rising from the seafoam off the coast of Cyprus and fucking mean it to.

Masculinity isn't dead yet, be a man, but be gentle on the fairer sex. Always make sure things are consensual, but don't annoy her like you're an exam asking a billion questions.

Women startle like deer, you must approach slowly at first, don't unload all of your life problems on your first date, don't creep her out or make her feel unwell. Just go get a light lunch or something, talk about things you like, see if she likes them. Love blossoms like a rose usually, it'll rarely drop down on you like a lightning bolt. Never confuse your emotions, I know it can be difficult for us hairy chested brutes to understand our emotions but listen to yourself. Arousal isn't Love, neither is Infatuation.

Women can be wrong (gasp), but don't fucking tell them that.

Women have higher standards than men unfortunately, afterall you have twice as many female ancestors than male ancestors. Don't loose faith, men are like wines they appreciate value as they age, women are like a Cadillac they lose value as they age. You may not bring em in during your Twenties, but you have no idea what will happen in your Thirties.

Some women are mean unfortunately, some men are mean too. Fuck em.

Unfortunately dating these days is more about swiping right than fighting a monstrous wyrm to save the beautiful princess (woe to us). On the bright side you're proabably not as ugly as you think (most people aren't). Quit being self conscious, find someone who's good at taking pictures (preferably a woman) and have them take pictures of you for your profile. Other people have a better eye on your attractive features than you do. You'll catch more with honey than vinegar.

All of this is easier said than done, believe me. Just be true to yourself and don't do things that make you feel bad.

If you're feeling down about your empty nets or a loss, listen to this ditty, brush yourself off and continue the hunt.

Forestscooter · 2021-11-22T23:05:17+00:00

Don’t have sex on the first date, avoid any woman willing to have sex on the first date.

Dandelion-Fire · 2021-11-23T05:20:54+00:00

Be honest and upfront from the beginning. Are you looking for a relationship progressing to marriage ? A summer fling? Boundary expectations, between yourself and others. Talk about things that are important to you. See if you both have similar long term visions for yourselves, as a potential couple, for kids, for ways you want to improve the world. Talk about your worldviews and how that affects the way you live life, interact socially, conduct yourself at work. In discussions where you disagree, can you both learn to, or already, talk through how you came to your conclusions? Do you or they stick to just talking points? Can you come to agreements or find compromise? Mingle in hobbies (sking, hiking, pottery), charities (homeless shelter, kids programs, elderly care) or groups (church, game nights) where you might hope to find a like minded individual. Be intentional. You go out with casual daters, expect short term relationships. Or long term ones that end.

mistralol · 2021-11-23T10:20:50+00:00

Have values, standards and boundries that are well defined before you enter a releationship or start dating which you would consider negotiatable or total deal breakers when crossed. If one of these are breached you exit regardless of your own feelings for the other person eg even if its going to hurt yourself. Often these will save you from being burned worse later.....

Like a simple one would be. If a partner is violent or agressive would be a basic good start as a deal breaker.

Another one would be if the girl starts an argument every time to get her own way with something often by gas lighting. Exit. Look for signs of manipulation to get what they want particularlly emotional eg using guilt or jealousy.

Generally one of my more complex ones is you terminate a releationship with somebody if there is a significant inbalance of power or effort being involved.

An example of that would be. You arrange to meetup. They cancel on you (without good reason) and your expected to just accept that. Then something like this becomes normilized. If you can't resolve it. Leave it. Note: Near the start of a releationsip eg dating a women does this. I drop her immediatly. Shows complete lack of integrity and respect for your time. If you can rely on the person to meet up with you how could you possibly rely on anything from them?

There is also a whole bunch of reg flags to look for. Over use of social media. Queue's of guys on social media. Way too much time spent on phone and not paying attention to others when she is around them.

Online dating. I would generally avoid some of this area if you can. It doesn't work for guys. It doesn't work for girls. Often the male to female ratio is 3:1 (In the UK where I am its 10:1). So its a joke the girls end up with their head up their ass because they get soo much attention and the guys end up with nearly zero attention. A lot of surveys actually say ~75% of men or women actually hate online dating.

When you start dating don't be "scared" to "bail" from a situation. Or to "hang on" until its done. I have been on date where the date has quit literally lastest minutes before I have bailed simply because of her actions. eg You go for a drink or something sit down at a table first action she does is pull out her phone and start texting on it. I ask "is that important" she says "no" continues to text on phone. Then I have got up and left.

eg imagine this. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eeboTeMAefE If I was in his position. The date would have ended almost immeidatly. I suspect he would have ended the date if it wasn't for fact it was a TV show. Even the waitress is like "WTF?". The worst part about this is she has no idea that she has done anything wrong the entire time.

A basic rule for dating when the phone comes out the date is over. eg its become more important than the person in front of them.

Also don't be taken advantage of. So if things like a date goes badly. Don't pay for the date. Split it. If you seem to be paying for everything figure out real fast whats shes giving you back in return for that effort eg it must be balanced.

T0tallynotreptilian7 · 2021-11-24T04:43:07+00:00

You can't really do anything else than be open minded and honest while being kind, also not afraid to trust people

On the other hand set your boundaries straight and keep yourself accountable to keep your own mental state healthy

tenchineuro · 2021-11-23T03:27:15+00:00

A great rule is not to date women on campus. They are feminist trained and there may be a false accusation in your future.

hardturkeycider · 2021-11-23T03:11:07+00:00

Pay attention, mostly. Communicate, say things up front and honestly, be genuine, and don't be afraid to fail. You will, especially if you're new at something. It takes many failures to succeed.

Title	Advice for the dating world
Author	NorpedHolland
Upvotes	21
Comments	48
Date	November 22, 2021 11:00 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/qzyfoq/advice_for_the_dating_world/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/advice-for-the-dating-world.1087084 https://theredarchive.com/post/1087084

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