Any thoughts on this thread?

felafelsmoke · 2021-08-08T16:19:20+00:00

Personally, I don’t touch anybody I don’t know well (outside of a handshake), that said women will regularly touch guys but it’s never seen as an issue

OrdinaryCatastrophic · 2021-08-08T16:20:11+00:00

Some people actually said OP deserved a broken nose for this. Which I don't really understand. Some people may not like it but that's no direct threat when someone touches your shoulder. Would be interesting to ask AITA for breaking a girl's nose because she tapped your shoulder in a club. I'm sure you'd be the asshole in most replies.

Mortally_DIvine · 2021-08-08T19:10:45+00:00

AITA is notoriously misandric, so I'm not surprised everyone is calling him an asshole for shoulder tapping someone.

It's a good way to get someone's attention. Will people in a club appreciate it? Probably not every time. Not a good look if you're trying to get someone to dance with you.

But a bad pickup attempt doesn't make you an asshole.

The people in that sub should try touching grass or something, maybe it will help them.

LondonDude123 · 2021-08-08T16:42:09+00:00

I agree with the "no touching anyone" thing, but I do kinda feel like this bridges the "Feelings over facts" idea which is prevalent nowdays.

The reality is that it was a tap on the shoulder. Im gonna take the story at face value, but am well aware there could be more to it. It was a Tap. On the shoulder. People saying he should be punched are completely insane, and even calling the dude an asshole could be considered too much.

Someone made a good point and said "Do we call people assholes based on their actions or intentions". In both cases here imo, hes not an asshole. Taking it at face value again, he tapped her shoulder to ask her to dance. I dont see any asshole bahaviour in that.

Lots of people saying "Well man at clubs touch women all the time and its wrong". Thats both stereotyping AND projecting, so nice one. You're now calling this guy an asshole purely because he exists as part of a group, so thats sexist. Should I call one muslim guy a terrorist? Fuck no.

And finally, to the one person who says "Look for non-verbal clues" get fucked. We all know that women (and some men, but mainly women) intentionally communicate in a flaky bullshit way so they have a get out card. Non-verbal cues could never be used in a court of law. Next you'll say "Just because she gave you eye contact and a smile doesnt mean she wants to talk to you" (which btw is a fair point).

rahsoft · 2021-08-08T20:01:08+00:00

and her guy friend moved my hand away, glared at me, and told me “not to touch women”.

he's a white knight hoping to get lucky( the guy that moved your hand away)

2021-08-08T20:54:42+00:00

It's always okay when women do something, but it's a problem if men do it.

SweatyAdvance · 2021-08-08T17:32:45+00:00

Tapping is definitely not the right move, but it doesn't make you an asshole. That sub is garbage.

mindbird · 2021-08-08T20:59:16+00:00

It's hard to believe that tapping someone on the shoulder to get their attention in a loud crowded venue could possibly be treated as a creepy assault of some kind. To see people threatening to respond with karate kicks, elbow slams, whatever?-- the forum is pathological.

Tapping someone's shoulder is a time-honored polite way to get someone's attention unless it is a dark silent alley, and I cannot be convinced to think otherwise.

Right_Pepe · 2021-08-08T17:27:40+00:00

I am one of those people that hate getting touch alot. From both male and female (excluding High five or hugs with family). But to think that you are an asshole for touching somebody is kinda.... overeacting. The worst I could say is you may just irritate us abit. But no, not an asshole. Just try not to touch us suddenly.

Diligent-Education64 · 2021-08-08T16:27:53+00:00

Are any of you watching Cuomo? It is not ok to touch a woman in public ever it seems. I don't have problem with that.

killerpanda1123 · 2021-08-08T16:25:24+00:00

It's stupid that people are having such an allergic reaction to "Touching Woman,". Sure, he should have tried getting in front of her, but what if it wasn't physically possible? I don't see any issue with it as a last resort attempt.

Kaiser_Defender · 2021-08-08T21:05:25+00:00

People are just saying to approach from the front and that unwanted contact, especially from behind and someone you can't see or know, is generally a massive no.

Loudlyjoyful · 2021-08-08T20:11:21+00:00

r/amitheangel

Bleikopf · 2021-08-08T18:04:22+00:00

I don't see how that's a men's rights issue but I'll go along with it as you're asking our opinions.

I saw a 'soft YTA' down there. It's probably what I'd agree with. A tap on the shoulder can be uncomfortable, but isn't the end of the world either. It comes down to etiquette imo. Some cultures are also closer/more physical, but usually also only with people they know.

I wouldn't damn people who did this, as some people have problems with social cues and etiquette, but I understand why people would not want to be touched.

xdzgor · 2021-08-08T17:37:01+00:00

I'm thinking the OP assumed the gender of the person they wanted to tap on the shoulder.

YouLookGoodInASmile · 2021-08-09T01:15:07+00:00

I dont think what they did was too bad. I agree with the no touching part in general, especially in a club, dont approach someone from behind.

BUT they did touch them, even though they didnt mean to be bad, it was still wrong.

Any thoughts on this thread?

Crosspost "AITA for tapping on a girl’s shoulder at the club?" from /r/AmItheAsshole:

Comments

Title	Any thoughts on this thread?
Author	-Neeberz-
Upvotes	14
Comments	25
Date	August 8, 2021 4:06 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/p0hdv3/any_thoughts_on_this_thread/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/any-thoughts-on-this-thread.1058941 https://theredarchive.com/post/1058941