How to be an "ally"

thesilentchief · 2014-07-06T06:26:50+00:00

Let me guess: "shut up and accept our narrative; never ask us to elaborate on our experiences or prove anything. Accept what we tell you at face value. Don't be offended when we insult you, the conversation isn't about you. Don't talk over us."

This is typically what I read in "how to be an ally" articles. As yet I haven't read it, we'll see how much I got right.

I should add, as a gay guy I welcome everyone who claims to be on "my side" without all the fucking rules these people set in place, which sadly I see a lot in the gay rights movement too.

ctlawguy · 2014-07-06T02:25:44+00:00

Based on reading this, it looks like an "ally" is someone who SJWs barely tolerate, who should shut up, not question the SJWs ideas, and parrot talking points to people in their social groups. Oh, and by the way, don't expect any acknowledgment.

Being an "ally" doesn't sound very worthwhile at all...

I don't refrain from sexist and racist jokes because I'm an "ally," I do so because making sexist and racist jokes is WRONG, no matter WHICH social group is targeted, "privileged" or not.

I don't oppose racist and sexist policies because I'm an "ally," I do so because such policies are WRONG, again, no matter WHICH social group is targeted, "privileged" or not.

MantusPlantus · 2014-07-06T08:12:49+00:00

1 Being an Ally is About Listening

As McKenzie puts it, “Shut up and listen.”

It's number 1!!! How did I know?

2 Stop Thinking of ‘Ally’ as a Noun

Being an ally isn’t a status.

If thought corrupts language, language can also corrupt thought. -Orwell

3 ‘Ally’ is Not a Self-Proclaimed Identity

What about lunatic? Also, stop thinking of deranged as an advective.

4 Allies Don’t Take Breaks

...if you truly want to act in solidarity, you cannot simply retreat into your privilege when you just don’t want to engage.

I guess they are still working out the bugs in this one.

But People of Color have no choice but to resist racism every single day of their lives. Women have no choice but to weather the shit storm of misogyny every day of their lives. Differently abled people have no choice but to deal with and respond to ableism every day of their lives.

PoC and women... and ...hmm... and uhh....oh yea.. handicapped!! Phew felt like I was forgetting someone.

5 Allies Educate Themselves Constantly

We need to educate ourselves about the issues facing those with whom we want to be allied and about the history of said oppression.

AKA, women and their systematic oppression from some time in the infancy of human recorded history somehow being relevant today.

6 You Can’t Be an Ally in Isolation

But solidarity in total isolation lacks one vital thing: accountability.

Holy trigger Goatboy.

7 Allies Don’t Need to Be in the Spotlight

True solidarity means supporting the work of those you’re allying yourself to, not solely creating a platform for your own voice and work.

And look what happens. People donate $160,000 and summon a demon to wreak havoc on a subject that is largly a hobby and harmless escapist passion for rational people, with research that has no scientific basis in reality and is mocked and parodied by everyone in the community. Demon responds by taking only the hate fueled troll comments and warranted predictable backlash and uses it to raise more money.

8 Allies Focus on Those Who Share Their Identity

...arguably the most important thing that I can do to act in solidarity is to engage those who share my identity.

Right, and only that.

As a man, I have a specific responsibility to engage men in building a more positive masculinity and standing up to misogyny and sexism.

This positive psychology ya'll. Inconvenient truths be damned! Science, logic, unconditional love? Tools of oppression!

9 When Criticized or Called Out, Allies Listen, Apologize, Act Accountably, and Act Differently Going Forward

If you choose to do social justice work, you are going to screw up – a lot.

QFT.

And when you screw up, be prepared to listen to those who you hurt, apologize with honesty and integrity, work hard to be accountable to them, and make sure you act differently going forward.

Really? Become a slave at the expense of others to make up for perceived injustices (to white women)? Who comes along and tells you when it's enough? Hello?

10 Allies Never Monopolize the Emotional Energy

One of the things that I love about the White Privilege Conference is its commitment to accountable racial caucusing spaces where White folks can meet with other White people, holding them accountable as they process their feelings or learning and where People of Color can process without the intrusiveness of White privilege and oppression.

I knew it!! They didn't even try to hide it.

So to be an ally I have to:

Feel bad about being white.
Help mostly women and PoC at the expense of myself and feelings.
Help a small offended percentage of PoC feel less offended around me because I'm ~~diseased~~ white and I have privilege.
Shut up and listen because my skin color and gender is a sin.
Take accountability for other people who aren't white or a man.
Engage only with people who share in my (feministic) ideas about justice and political discourse.

What a predicament!

ctlawguy · 2014-07-07T01:36:26+00:00

What I also found interesting was the notion that ideas that people would normally be hostile to or at least unreceptive to, would not be so if they came from someone in their own social group.

Considering MRAs reactions to male feminists I have reason to doubt this.

TheThinMan34 · 2014-07-08T11:30:14+00:00

I refuse to ally myself with ignorant extremists. I also refuse to ally myself with those who don't do more to clean up the extremists from their "movement". I'm sorry, but I can't take you seriously.

Title	How to be an "ally"
Author	ctlawguy
Upvotes	22
Comments	10
Date	July 6, 2014 2:19 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/mensrights/comments/29xv1w/how-to-be-an-ally/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/how-to-be-an-ally.1619020 https://theredarchive.com/post/1619020

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