I don't know what have I become

AVoiceInTheDarkn3ss · 2024-12-28T19:13:41+00:00

The good news is, the only place to go from rock bottom, is up.

Look into careers or colleges you might like, start working out, get involved in charitable causes, and build your life.

antclayton · 2024-12-28T20:04:09+00:00

This sounds a lot like depression. True deep depression. It doesn't always make people sad or have one specific way to work in everybody but the whole feeling nothing and having no interest in anything is a pretty solid sign.

The important thing is if you have any thoughts of harming yourself in any way, seek help and someone to talk to asap.

Second I would say gym is always good for this BUT it's not that easy to just make yourself do something when you're like this. Think of something you "want" to do (I know wanting things doesn't work properly right now but something that you know is a good basic goal for you) and break it down into as small steps as possible.

For example, (not saying you don't shower, just an example for bad depression) maybe you just work up to getting a shower and then try to work up to doing it a few days in a row. Work up to spending a small amount of time outdoors, getting a walk in, etc. slowly build up to the gym in as small steps as you can muster and once you're at that point. Work up to doing it more often. It may feel useless at first, it may drag you down a bit more initially as you adjust but the key to success will be in consistently trying even if you take a step back on som days.

From there, your mood SHOULD start to lift, and you can start to work out who you are again, what you like, what you'd like for a career going forward. - A tip for figuring this out is top down, bottom up. Look at jobs you know you like, work down from there, the list of what you'd need for that job (experience, qualifications, training). Then look at basic subjects (science, maths, history, etc) you liked, and see what further subjects or career you can go up into with those. You should be able to build a basic list of things you'd like to do for your future.

And most importantly don't be afraid to reach out to someone, especially if you're trying and nothing is improving. You may need therapy for old unhealed issues, you may need medication for a physical condition. There are a lot of reasons, and side effects to depression and it's never exactly the same for 2 individuals.

AlexiousTheMisthios · 2024-12-28T20:49:55+00:00

Look into low carb - high protein diets, hit the gym (I can share a gym workout plan I bought from HowToBeast if you are interested), and look into self development coaches like RSD (Real Social Dynamics). They don't exist anymore but you can torrent their video programs. RSD Max is my favorite as he is young and was also the most popular RSD coach.

Ok-Yogurtcloset7394 · 2024-12-28T20:24:26+00:00

Have been in the same spot as you. I am 22 now and my life has gotten worse. The thing I wish someone said to me back then: You are most likely 0% responsible for the situation you are in right now. It will take very long for you to fix it all. focus on getting your life priorities straight, find a way to find a meaning for life. you are still young so use the time you have right now. start in small manageable steps. don't overwork yourself but dont wallow in self pity either. You need to get your shit together, it's rough and unfair but people like you and me have learned rough truths and face challenges that when overcome make us very amazing people. But you have to start. Don't be like me, don't waste 3 more years not changing. identify your problems. work on your priorities and on your problems. Be gentle with yourself and allow yourself time. find routines that fit your everyday life. find resolve and use resolve as a motivator to keep going. with resolve discipline will follow and with dicipline things will slowly and steadily get better. Hit the gym, eat healthy, challenge yourself to become better at anything you want to become better at. And if you don't have the energie for all or any of that, remember to give it time and be gentle with yourself. take it a step back and start with imagining it. imagine the person you want to be and become aware that with lots of work you will become more like that person. just as you probably gaslighted yourself into that Situation for external reasons you can basically gaslight yourself out of that.

I wish you the best of luck, you got this. life is not worth throwing away over an unlucky headstart.

Plenty_Patience_5491 · 2024-12-28T20:25:25+00:00

Fuck them folks. I also have toxic (not abusive, not physically anyway) parents. Dumb fucks. Get a good job and....really "The Gym?" What a douche. That won't make you feel that much better in the immediate, for the long term sure, but lord of hosts you can tell some of these folks don't have shit going on in their lives. You do have to navigate mentally and search for an interest that you find just awesome and bury yourelf in it, gym for long term, and be confident. The "I don't give a fuck" energy IS real. Also, don't live and die by the expectations of others. These won't be INSTANT fixes, but they'll put you down the right path. LET THE DOWNVOTES FLOW THROUGH ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sirhugh66 · 2024-12-28T21:36:27+00:00

Hey OP, you're not emotionless, quite the opposite in fact. Sounds like for 18 years you've kept a lot of emotions pent up, and because you've never learnt to express those feelings, now you've reached a crisis point where you cant hold them in anymore, but you don't know how to let them out.

_austrianpainter · 2024-12-28T19:33:56+00:00

Well i am on the same boat brother except my family is supporting me.

Interbeingparty · 2024-12-28T21:38:58+00:00

Can you have a deep conversation about how you are feeling/what you are experiencing with someone close to your IRL? A friend or a therapist?

The modern world is tougher than many folks want to admit. You're still here though.

The only black/white view I hold is that you can either 'get busy living' or 'get busy dying'.

https://youtu.be/46GwJbrMghQ?si=yGdsERwi45jPKGkD

What do you want in this life? Focus on that.

Joy? Meaning? Connection? Experiences of awe, wonder, and beauty?

They are out there waiting to meet you.

Just ask for what you need. And keep asking. The universe will deliver.

Huckleberry1340 · 2024-12-28T22:01:58+00:00

Wow, that blows.

Best advice I have without knowing ur full situation.

You are valuable.

Take stock of what you have, where you live, your strengths, weaknesses etc.

Consider if where you live is somewhere you can get ahead, if not, consider starting over in a cheaper COS living area if possible.

Truly take care of yourself. Try to minimize the vices (drinking, smoking, gambling, mindless social media, etc.)

Find people, activities or organizations that you find healing supportive or helpful. For me spending time on my aunts farm and petting/caring for the horses every day was actually quite nice. Going for walks, stopping and just thinking and reflecting, no phone/internet times, bicycle adventures on local trails or roads. Find what gives you meaning and chase it in whatever way you can.

Most of all, try not to be too hard on yourself. By the sound of it you've had your fair share of rough moments growing up, it's okay to be in the feels, but don't let them control you.

Your story mirrors my upbringing, I was fat and bullied, had toxic/abusive parents. It will probably get better but you will have more terrible days, the journey or fight is never over but I believe in you.

grizzlybear787 · 2024-12-28T23:28:46+00:00

Dont be so focused on what you dont have that you lose track of what you DO have. - life expectancy - potential

Theres many rich 90 year olds who would give everything to be you.
Get a notebook, think about what you want, write out some good goals, and get after it!

BuddaJim2023 · 2024-12-28T19:17:12+00:00

The answer for guys is go to the gym and get as big as possible as this will always solve 100% of any issue you have or ever will have.

Car trouble? Gym

Feeling down? Gym

Abused as a child? Gym

Worried about the depleting giraffe population in Africa? Gym

Terminal cancer? Gym

Depressed with not even the motivation to go outside? Gym

90% of comments will reflect this wonder of the world solution.

Good luck bro!

AdPure7353 · 2024-12-28T19:58:46+00:00

Dm me I'll be ur support bro rs

realwavyjones · 2024-12-28T23:42:50+00:00

Listen to/ read David Goggins can’t hurt me

ITZNOTKYLE · 2024-12-29T00:37:32+00:00

It’s okay mate, I’ve been in a similar position and I still feel the same way sometimes. Start and go to the gym it’ll make you feel better or hang out with your friends more. Im on ps5 if you have one too and wanna play sometime or if you want to message me about anything feel free :)

EfficientArticle4253 · 2024-12-29T00:46:13+00:00

The trauma matters but not any of the rest of that stuff. High school is over - you have a blank slate and can be anybody who you want to be.

If you continue to grow , challenge yourself and invest wisely you will have a far better life than me at 42 years old and I love my life as is.

Everything will change. Even the women who aren't talking to you now will be hitting you up in 10 and 20 but you will ignore them for options which are far better

MozartFan2000 · 2024-12-29T02:10:29+00:00

Dude, you're only 18.

Exotic_Pen_8604 · 2024-12-29T02:41:57+00:00

Embrace the suck of mixed martial arts. Build a self defense base so you could whoop any common mans ass. I was the fat poor bullied kid. I guarantee you now that they will have second thoughts about bullying me after diving myself into Mixed Martial Arts. They aint doing it if they did they wouldnt bully so its easy for you to get ahead. A few classes and you will be better than most bullies. You gotta expect to lose to the smallest dude in the gym though because experience always wins regardless of size. I hope you gain the confidence ive earned from mixed martial arts. Im now a feared opponent nobody fucks with me unless they dont know any better. I dont look for fights but im trained to be able to finish them. Most bullies aint.

alter_furz · 2024-12-28T19:25:01+00:00

check your diet. you might have pre-diabetes (type ii), the fat in your body affects hormonal balance, you might subsequently have low testosterone.

people telling you to first get your diet straight and go to the gym are NOT jesters.

changes to your diet don't have to be expensive. you can stuff your face with shit food for a week for X money, or you could get a bag of protein shake (google protein shake meal replacement) for 0.3x money

once your hormones and weight get closer to normal, you will feel better. people will perceive you differently.

cOmE-cRawLing_Faster · 2024-12-28T23:47:00+00:00

Start with exercise, especially lifting (vs only cardio)

Make that you're number one hobby

That alone will start a powerful chain reaction

Title	I don't know what have I become
Author	Anonymous_Brat_2006
Upvotes	61
Comments	38
Date	December 28, 2024 7:09 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1hocrr9/i_dont_know_what_have_i_become/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/i-dont-know-what-have-i-become.1539761 https://theredarchive.com/post/1539761

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