I read this on Jezebel

I know, I know... I shouldn't be reading from that site at all but I found something interesting in the comments.

Okay I understand the frustration that drove her to that point, but pent up frustration should not be released on another person in the form of physical violence. I'm not mad at her for doing what she did, but I really don't agree with patting herself on the back and acting like this was one for the girls. At the end of the day what it boils down to is that she attacked a stranger who was just being an asshole. Being an ass isn't illegal. If it was, there would be no Republican candidates walking free.

To those trying to claim this was self defense stop that shit right now. This was not in anyway self defense. This was her attacking a person. If the guy had attacked her for saying something he didn't like, we'd all be up in arms about him and using the same rape culture phrases in our posts to describe why he was wrong. You'd all be using these same excuses that you are now to defend her, as justification for why this guy should go to jail for a very long time.

How the hell do we get that done? How do we use the same argument in two different situations as justification for defending women both as attackers and victims? It's not even confusing, it's just seriously fucked up. We like to bitch about the double standard until we're straddling it ourselves and then we conveniently ignore it.

And please no one come tell me that I don't understand because I wasn't there, or I didn't walk a mile in her shoes. I'm a black, bisexual, female atheist from a Christian country that isn't as tolerant about my lifestyle as I'd like. I currently live in a Brooklyn neighborhood where my family would rather I take a cab to go four blocks than risk walking home at 9pm at night.

I've been to places with my girlfriend where I worried about whether or not the asshole talking smack to us will follow us, because he'd like to show us girls how it feels to have a man. I've had people I know make me uncomfortable when they've seen me with a guy, because I'm obviously a promiscuous sexual deviant, and therefore they need to teach me a lesson, because being bi apparently makes me a whore. I've been on road trips where I dare not get out of the car at certain rest stops, because they don't like black people in that area. I've had people get so insistent that I believe in God and the bible that I literally back up for fear they'd try to beat Jesus into me.

I don't need Allison's shoes. I've got my own and I gingerly pick my way through the fucked up sludge of this society that likes to belittle and harass me to the point where I'm so angry that I feel like I spend half my life wavering on the brink. But not once have I ever retaliated to someone's asshole remarks by hitting them, because that would make me as big an asshole as they are. More so, because anyone who strikes out with violence because they don't like what they're hearing is a bully at that point.

Would we excuse a man who punched his girlfriend in the face because she was nagging him? Fuck no. We'd want him strung up by the balls for being such a weak bastard that he has to take out his aggression on her. We can't have a double standard. We can't afford to have a double standard, because in the end we as women, as gay women, as the minority, we end up the losers. Because once we start acting like our abusers, our harassers, we make them victims as well. That's how a double standard works. We lose as much ground as we think we gain. And in the end we're left in the same position, only without the moral high ground we had to stand on.

If you choose to fight frustration with your fists, that's your choice. But don't pretend that it was some resounding strike for women or lesbians.

Are we making a dent?