Just a thought.

RatSnakeRabbitSnake · 2013-12-21T06:41:32+00:00

Being raped can bring on feelings of shame and isolation. Talking about it in a supportive environment can help to overcome those feelings, and as humans, we all seek out understanding. Like that old song says, "we all need somebody to lean on."

Another thing you may not realize is that rape can be a life altering experience. People often loose friends and family, people who may not be supportive, or that have interest in conflict with a victims experiences. When trying to fill the holes left by that, the isolation that is often very real as well as felt, survivors in search of support often talk about thier experiences to ensure that they don't invest in relationships that will hurt them again. Traumatic experiences lead to survival mechanisms, its a rather natural part of healing, or at least maintaining.

Rape can affect people very deeply. The pain can be profound. Healing takes time, work, and tears. People talk about the things that have shaped their lives, problems that affect them, and issues which they find important. For many of us, that means talking about rape. People also take pride in their accomplishments, and surviving rape is a hard thing. Im sorry if that's a problem for you, but for many victims, just getting by is a major achievement that we shouldn't have to hide.

One more factor that needs to be considered: grooming. Many rapist use mind games on their prey. They make victims, especially children, concerned for the wellbeing of the belligerent. This can be as simple as exploiting a position of authority, or kinship. To the groomed, keeping silent is to continue a pattern of victimization. Even those victims who haven't experienced the grooming process are often trying to overcome fears that speaking out will endanger them. No victim should ever feel like they should protect people that hurt them, they shouldn't feel the need to be silent, and they shouldn't be concerned with your sensibilities, either.

saint2e · 2013-12-21T05:57:30+00:00

I am completely unaware of this phenomenon.

saint2e · 2013-12-21T05:19:35+00:00

You can thank places like Shakesville for this phenomenon. Check out this quote.

Original thread here.

rightsbot · 2013-12-21T05:14:16+00:00

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edtastic · 2013-12-22T04:16:12+00:00

I'd like to see more men talk about their experiences and I have no problem with women doing the same. The problems start when people playing the role of victim manipulate public sympathies for a potentially harmful agenda. We saw that with the creation of a sex offend registry that groups pedophiles with people caught urinating in public who were charged with indecent exposure. Also these laws aren't protecting anyone. Not living near a school or church isn't going to stop a someone from walking a 1000 feet to that location.

Oddly enough I don't see many rape victims using their status to champion 'rape culture' but the most vocal advocates have no problem acting in their name. Real victims probably know that violent porn and rape jokes wasn't what drove their rapist to attack them.

Captaincastle · 2013-12-21T05:19:49+00:00

It always makes me uncomfortable when chicks just drop those bombs in conversation like someone just fucked up their order at burger king.

Especially if their rampant emotional baggage is untreated.

AlphaWookie · 2013-12-21T06:28:05+00:00

This is a thing actually. It's very sad kinda like the Ann and Bella worship thing young girls are getting into. Similar also to the planned teen pregnancy "fad" that has been going on lately. I don't think it is a widespread problem yet. Give it 3 years to fester and CNN will be doing a story about it.

Maybe feminism should try and nip this in the bud now......Oh what what was I thinking.

Title	Just a thought.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	0
Comments	20
Date	December 21, 2013 5:12 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1tdn3d/just_a_thought/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/just-a-thought.1155527 https://theredarchive.com/post/1155527

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