Mansplaining, How is this perceived as something only men do?

misandry_doesnt_real · 2012-09-14T18:22:10+00:00

Apparently, disagreeing with a woman and trying to prove you're right is against the rules now. These guys really do not know when to stop, do they? What the fuck comes next?

Curebores · 2012-09-14T19:46:43+00:00

I hate the term mansplaining. It suggests that only men do it.

Call it what it is - Bullshitting.

celibacy4life · 2012-09-14T19:48:17+00:00

This kind of article is exactly why I stopped reading all of the Gawker Media sites. The only point of writing something like this is to piss off one group while pandering to another. Or maybe the goal is to make men more self-conscious and uncomfortable? Either way "mansplaining" seems like a cheap attempt for the author to sound smart discussing a fake issue.

EpicJ · 2012-09-14T18:40:11+00:00

I've seen women(a brunette) do it to other women(blonde), I've seen women do it to men usually when it involves cleaning, washing, child care etc. It's not something unique to men.

JockeVXO · 2012-09-14T19:52:44+00:00

[permanently deleted]

IPGDVFT · 2012-09-14T18:35:33+00:00

Article text:

It hasn't just been a summer for political conventions, the Olympics, and a slough of politicians and comedians saying stupid things about rape. Summer 2012 is also the season in which the idea of "mansplaining" may have moved beyond the feminist blogosphere.

The concept has entered the broader culture, appearing in the pages of the Nation — and inspiring apoplectic indignation in the comments section at the Good Men Project.

Though no one's sure who coined the term, the consensus seems to be that the idea goes back to this April 2008 Rebecca Solnit article in the Los Angeles Times. In it, Solnit never used the actual word "mansplain," instead talking about the invariably gendered "confrontational confidence of the totally ignorant." Within a year, other bloggers were using the term, closing in on a consensus definition. As Solnit put it in a follow-up piece last month, mansplaining is the "intersection between overconfidence and cluelessness where some portion of (the male) gender gets stuck."

In nearly 20 years of teaching gender studies courses, I've seen a lot of guys get stuck at that intersection. What's changed is that more and more of them are recognizing it as a problem, even if that recognition is steeped in defensiveness. In class last week, one male student brought up mansplaining unprompted; he complained that "feminists think any time a man shares an opinion, he's a 'mansplainer.'" For men like this student, "mansplaining" has become the new sexual harassment allegation — an unfair charge that no man can disprove, defined by shifting and opaque rules.

As I learned teaching workshops on sexual harassment to all-male audiences, most guys don't want to do or say offensive things. Their misunderstanding of what sexual harassment entails led some to fear that even their most well-intentioned gestures or remarks would be misconstrued as harassment. The bulk of my job was making it clear that sexual harassment was less of a vast catch-all than they imagined. Not harassing women, in other words, was less difficult to avoid than they imagined.

The same is true for mansplaining. Despite the fears of many fellas like my student, mansplaining isn't a term for any time a guy tries to explain himself. Mansplaining is about a very specific instance of "privilege and ignorance… when a dude tells you, a woman, how to do something you already know how to do, or how you are wrong about something you are actually right about, or miscellaneous and inaccurate 'facts' about something you know a hell of a lot more about than he does."

But that description may still be too vague for some guys. So to help them out, here are five ways the fellas can check to see if they're mansplaining –- or just men, talking like human beings:

Do you actually know how much the woman you're talking to knows about the same subject?

Too many of us were taught to divide knowledge into separate spheres: "guy" topics like video games, cars, and sports; "girly" subjects like fashion, children, and celebrity gossip. Mansplaining happens quickly when a guy presumes that women don't know much (or aren't particularly interested in) man stuff. Are you using your supposed expertise to prove something about your manhood?

Masculine culture –- what Michael Kimmel calls "Guyland" –- places a premium on demonstrating proficiency, in talk if not in action. Casual conversation about sports, for example, isn't just a way for men to pass the time or to break the ice. It's an opportunity to display one's guy credentials. As this classic ESPN ad shows, the great fear for so many men is to be caught talking out of their asses. Too many men, anxious to prove their be-penised bona fides, forget the old saying about it being better to stay silent and be thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt. When you're talking to prove expertise rather than to connect with another person, the chances are high you're mansplaining. When she talks, are you listening to what she's saying or merely rehearsing your next line?

One of the hallmarks of mansplaining is that the 'splainer is rarely really hearing what his interlocutor is saying when she speaks. He may be listening, but his focus is less on taking in what a woman is saying to him –- and more on how he can shape his next sentence to prove his point. A mansplainer uses a woman's turn to talk to think about how he can better marshal his arguments for his next salvo. Are you talking about your own experience, or are you universalizing about how everyone feels? Are you explaining her experience to her?

We all have theories about why people do what they do. A lot of us enjoy analyzing other people. Where that normal human penchant slips into mansplaining is when a particular guy assumes he knows more about women than the woman to whom he's speaking. Men do this partly out of arrogant presumptuousness, and partly out of an eagerness to demonstrate that they "aren't like other guys." In a world where men assume (not entirely incorrectly) that most other fellas don't know very much about women, proving that "you're the guy who gets it" presents itself as a promising strategy for impressing the ladies. It rarely works as well as mansplainers hope. Do you actually know what you're talking about?

As Rebecca Solnit pointed out in her original post on the subject, mansplaining at its heart is about the cocksuredness of the ignorant. It's one thing to be an insufferable know-it-all when one actually does know it all. It's another thing –- a mansplainy thing –- to pretend you know more about botany or fractals or Riot Grrl than you actually do. A mansplainer presumes that the actual truth matters less than the calm confidence or rhetorical flourish with which he explains his version of the facts. (See Ryan, Paul.) A willingness to admit what one doesn't know, accompanied by a genuine expression of interest in learning something new, is an excellent vaccine against mansplaining.

thrway_1000 · 2012-09-14T20:01:35+00:00

Screenshot for those wanting to see the original but don't want to hit the site and give them Ad revenue.

ManAid · 2012-09-14T21:06:21+00:00

A mansplainer presumes that the actual truth matters less than the calm confidence or rhetorical flourish with which he explains his version of the facts

Such a great quote, It is true, any person who relies in his/her 's rhetorical flourish to explain his/her version of the fact is indeed devious.

While being generous (and really tired) i will ignore your subtle attempts of establishing identity for the term by appealing to the authority of the "broader culture", that and your pathetic anecdotal - i know a black friend who...- evidence. Let's first start with your logical failures, then we will go on how the term (according to how you define it) is logically incoherent unless you have a hidden premise.

Too many of us were taught to divide knowledge into separate spheres: "guy" topics like video games, cars, and sports; "girly" subjects like fashion, children, and celebrity gossip.

Yes, it's a stereotype of both men and women that is perpetuated by both, women think the boys are thinking about football, men think the girls are reading fashion magazine, if you accept that these stereotypes exist, then you must also accept that it's a two way street, unless of course ... you have a hidden premise.

Mansplaining happens quickly when a guy presumes that women don't know much (or aren't particularly interested in) man stuff. Are you using your supposed expertise to prove something about your manhood?

If you accept my first premise (which i know none of your kind would), it then follows than the reverse is also possible, a woman womansplaining, when a woman presumes that men don't know much (or aren't particularly interested in) woman stuff she's a womansplaining, right ?

Of course the first i thing expect to be a said by any of your kind is that woman don't think men don't know much about something because they're men, and for that i end with two words, child rearing. (if that i know you won't accept, in your worldview only men stereotype woman, woman don't stereotype men or themselves)

If you agree with the above premise and conclusion, then why is the term gendered ?

places a premium on demonstrating proficiency, in talk if not in action

.

When you're talking to prove expertise rather than to connect with another person

You could have easily have said 'showing off'. and people who focus their interactions with other people on proving their expertise in certain proficiency or their knowledge in certain areas are of both genders, or is it only wrong if men do it about men stuff ?, Many women think they have the right to explain to men what they think men inherently and as a collective lack the knowledge off.

Again, why is the term gendered ?

When she talks, are you listening to what she's saying or merely rehearsing your next line?

I don't even have to read the paragraph after that .. j .. just, why are you gendering this moral guideline ?, what do you think of woman who don't listen to what he's saying ?

A lot of us enjoy analyzing other people.

people mostly don't like that though, sadly they still think their feelings have any value outside of their sub-concious, analysing them is degrading to their value

mansplaining is when a particular guy assumes he knows more about women than the woman to whom he's speaking

And no women does that ?, non of womankind (who are naturally better at communicating to other people and manipulating them) does that ?

I suppose i should stop, they shouldn't be a need to examine every sentence of the article, the whole term is not logically coherent, here is why

In order to conclude that what you defined as "intersection between overconfidence and cluelessness" is a phenomenon specific to men you must 1) prove that men employ that kind of behaviour 2) prove that such behaviour is specific to men

Is that behaviour men employed by men, Yes Is that behaviour specific to men, no, showing off is not specific to men, not listening to what your interlocutor is saying is not specific to men, assuming people of the opposite gender don't know certain things because they're what they're are is not specific to men, all of what you said isn't behaviours specific to men, but you will never concede on a new term, "womansplaining", because of your hidden in plain sight premise, which is that men are privileged.

Title	Mansplaining, How is this perceived as something only men do?
Author	mansplain
Upvotes	3
Comments	14
Date	September 14, 2012 6:04 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/zvygp/mansplaining_how_is_this_perceived_as_something/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/mansplaining-how-is-this-perceived-as-something.1013513 https://theredarchive.com/post/1013513

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