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"Men Need to Ejaculate Responsibly? Okay… Let’s Go There." Great explanation of hypocrisy when it comes to sex and reproduction.

roharareddit

December 22, 2025

74 upvotes

/r/MensRights

https://youtube.com/watch?v=kU6ZAs3Yodk&si=e_qTY1ujZ41sG77s

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Post Information

Title	"Men Need to Ejaculate Responsibly? Okay… Let’s Go There." Great explanation of hypocrisy when it comes to sex and reproduction.
Author	roharareddit
Upvotes	74
Comments	33
Date	December 22, 2025 4:27 PM UTC (7 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1pt3uok/men_need_to_ejaculate_responsibly_okay_lets_go/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/men-need-to-ejaculate-responsibly-okay-lets-go.1569454 https://theredarchive.com/post/1569454

Comments

[–]Jumpy_Drama_2042 47 points48 points49 points 7 months ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[+]Strong-Camp-4734 -45 points-44 points-43 points 7 months ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]djieff0 7 points8 points9 points 7 months ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]peasey360 -1 points0 points1 point 7 months ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]djieff0 0 points1 point2 points 7 months ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]peasey360 0 points1 point2 points 7 months ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]PowerWisdomCourage 16 points17 points18 points 7 months ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[+]Strong-Camp-4734 -43 points-42 points-41 points 7 months ago (24 children) | Copy Link

[–]AccountGlittering914 20 points21 points22 points 7 months ago (23 children) | Copy Link

[+]Strong-Camp-4734 -28 points-27 points-26 points 7 months ago (22 children) | Copy Link

I’m not being satire. What would that offer to the conversation?

When we got married, I made it clear that condoms are a hard line for me. I told her if she didn’t want to get pregnant, she would need to figure it out.

She tried to get an IUD, but the doctor couldn’t force her cervix open enough (even with vaginal misoprostol) to install it. She was given the option to have her cervix cut so they could place it, or find something else.

She went on the pill. She had a spell of really bad depression at the start, but once we got her on the anti-depressants and anti-anxiety meds, she got better. She doesn’t like to go out too much, which is a problem, but less of a problem than I have with condoms.

It works for us. I’m just saying, it’s not that hard to get a woman to take a pill. If she wanted to be with you, she would.

[–]Time-Dot-6608 20 points21 points22 points 7 months ago (15 children) | Copy Link

[–]ApprehensiveMail8 0 points1 point2 points 7 months ago (6 children) | Copy Link

This isn't an AH position it just needs to be phrased very carefully (because men are expected to phrase things in a way that pleases women, even on the men's right sub):

Within marriage, it is natural that a husband should be concerned more about paternity control than birth control.

In other words, it's not "let's make sure you never get pregnant". Because even if it is "unplanned" a pregnancy within marriage is still generally welcome by the new dad. In fact, he may actually be in favor of a pregnancy but for his wife's reluctance to get pregnant and/or give birth.

A better way of phrasing his family planning objective is "if/when you get pregnant, let's just make sure it's mine".

Condoms actively work against this goal because they only prevent paternity by the intended father.

Birth control pills don't. They prevent paternity from all parties.

[–]Time-Dot-6608 1 point2 points3 points 7 months ago* (4 children) | Copy Link

I tend to agree with you to an extent here.

I don’t think its only about phrasing for a female audience, I don’t think many men want to be tarred with the same brush, either

The reality is that the situation that the OP described is actually the reality of women/ men using birth control. It is a weighing of pros and cons of different methods, because none are ideal, optimal, easy or preferred. But, its a means to an end.

But, coming online and showing absolute disregard for his wife who has taken the greater weight of that responsibility was where he was an AH?

I do hear what you are saying about paternity and ensuring that- I know it happens- I dont think its the vast majority of relationships- and if someone were to enter a marriage with the immediate concern of paternity - I would suggest marrying someone else. I understand though that some people who have been personally (or anecdotally) impacted by this will have this more “forefront” in their mind. Just like people who have been screwed over by divorce/child support/ etc are likely to be trigger shy.

[–]ApprehensiveMail8 0 points1 point2 points 7 months ago (3 children) | Copy Link

You aren't my wife, nor the wife of the guy you are arguing with. Please stop making stupid arguments on their behalf.

A woman telling her husband/ fiance "if you are concerned about the possibility of paternity fraud, I would suggest marrying someone else" would be like a man telling a his girlfriend "if you are concerned about the possibility of date rape, I would suggest dating someone else."

Making this argument reveals you have utterly failed to see the other person's point of view, at best. And at worst, it is a clumsy attempt to get away with something awful.

Perhaps your logic is that you shouldn't marry someone if you think they are cheating on you. The problem is that not wanting to use a birth control scheme that would literally require you to accept a higher probability of raising a rapist's child then having one of your own is NOT the same as thinking your fiance is cheating on you.

[–]Time-Dot-6608 0 points1 point2 points 7 months ago* (2 children) | Copy Link

🤔 - I have honestly no idea what you are talking about.

But Ill take a stab

“You aren't my wife, nor the wife of the guy you are arguing with.” - thanks for the reminder-I’ll add that to the gratitude journal.

“A woman telling her husband/ fiance "if you are concerned about the possibility of paternity fraud, I would suggest marrying someone else" would be like a man telling a his girlfriend "if you are concerned about the possibility of date rape, I would suggest dating someone else." “

Every committed relationship accepts some low-probability, high-impact risks by design, because constantly verifying a partner’s honesty undermines the very trust the relationship is built on. That’s not naïveté its a value choice. If you want to have a paternity test for your children - thats your choice.

“Making this argument reveals you have utterly failed to see the other person's point of view, at best. And at worst, it is a clumsy attempt to get away with something awful.” Yeah - still don’t understand what “ I “ am trying to get away with ?

Yeah- can’t work this jump out either.

Going on a date holds an small inherent risk for both men and women for being the victim of date rape or an accusation. I would distinguish this from an intentional decision to find someone to long term partner with.

You do whatever works for you and your in your relationship, OP can do whatever he wants. I can still have an opinion. You can have an opinion. The world still turns. If a stranger on the internet triggers some kind of “internal fragility” by suggesting that some dude is an AH for choosing and promoting an unwrapped dick at the detriment of his wifes (and in its promotion - to wives everywhere) mental and physical health, sometimes that discomfort means something.

[–]ApprehensiveMail8 0 points1 point2 points 7 months ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Time-Dot-6608 0 points1 point2 points 7 months ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Well, let's back up and look at the position you are actually taking:

A MARRIED man is an AH for not wanting to wear condoms but letting his wife use birth control. I empathize MARRIED because that makes a huge difference.

thats not why he is an AH. I have reiterated many times that close to NO one’s preference is to wear a condom in a long term relationship.

“Condoms are the default for hookups. No condoms are the hookup for unmarried couples. If a woman agrees to have a one night stand it's pretty much a given that she expects you to wear a condom. “

I would go further than a ONS. When you become a couple who are engaging in sex - generally you would want to do sexual health testing for 3 (to rule our most STD’s) or 6 months (to rule out HIV) before removing condom use as your main STI preventative. That would also only work if you believed that your partner wouldn’t be having sex with anyone else - (I’m happy to make a values-trust based guide on that)- but there seemed to be a presumption of cheating in your “scenario”- so keeping it wrapped may be better.

By contrast, married couples rarely wear condoms. What is the point of getting married if you are just going to keep having sex like it's a one night stand? Married men don't want that and neither do married women.

The point of marriage is to have sex without a condom - shit… slap me senseless- I thought it was cause you love someone and want to cocreate Life together…

I mean sure one of the benefits of getting married is that you have made a formalised committment to the other to most probably be monogamous and therefore the risk of STI’s becomes unnecessary?

although, your argument also follows that the woman is likely to be cheating - hence paternity- so maybe keep wrapping ( or don’t get married to that person if those thoughts are forefront).

[–]ApprehensiveMail81 point 7 months ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Time-Dot-6608 0 points1 point2 points 7 months ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Strong-Camp-4734 -5 points-4 points-3 points 7 months ago (7 children) | Copy Link

Yes, I would prefer my wife to be on the pill than wear a condom. That doesn’t make me an AH. It’s my preference. It’s not my fault the pill gives her side effects. It is what it is.

If she didn’t want to be on the pill, she didn’t need me marry me.

Her GYN attempted the first time after her period. They told her to take some ibuprofen for the discomfort. They couldn’t force it in. They said she was in too much pain to keep going and to come back in a few weeks.

They gave her vaginal misoprostol and more ibuprofen two hours before her second appointment. This was also performed at her GYN. They couldn’t force her cervix open. They gave her the choice to slightly cut her cervix so they could place the IUD (they would have used numbing gel), or consider different options.

We talked, she said she didn’t want them to cut her cervix because it was too painful. I said if she wanted to try something else, I was fine with that.

I’m not sure how that makes me an AH?

[–]Time-Dot-6608 10 points11 points12 points 7 months ago* (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]Strong-Camp-4734 -1 points0 points1 point 7 months ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]Time-Dot-6608 10 points11 points12 points 7 months ago (4 children) | Copy Link

Generally because placing an IUD in clinic to women who have not had children is considered pretty barbaric. Depending on the country, but here it is generally done (after failed attempt) under anaesthetic.

Your terms totally disregard the fact that she also had no idea what the impact of IUD’s, or the pill had on her body, as that had previously been your domain.

Now- I am NOT saying that women shouldn’t be taking responsibility for their reproductive choices. 100 percent - it is pertinent for both parties to mitigate risk.

However, in a marriage/ relationship where people presumably love one another and care for their wellbeing the idea that a “preference” trumps someone’s mental and physical health- yeah, makes you an AH.

You share the burden ? What of her depression ? Her numbness to the world? The fact she doesnt want to leave the house? You have promoted that burden because your preference is not to wear a condom.

[–]AccountGlittering914 7 points8 points9 points 7 months ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Time-Dot-6608 5 points6 points7 points 7 months ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Strong-Camp-4734 0 points1 point2 points 7 months ago (1 child) | Copy Link

You make it seem like thousands of women don’t go through that procedure regularly. Yes - I’ve been told it can be uncomfortable sometimes; but, so can a vasectomy. I can’t make a procedure less uncomfortable.

She leaves the house - she works, goes shopping, takes my brother’s kids out once a week so my mom gets a day off, etc.. She’s not a shut-in, just doesn’t like to have as much fun anymore.

She’s the woman. It’s ultimately her responsibility to ensure she doesn’t get pregnant if she doesn’t want to.

Yes, her depression and anxiety is burdensome to me as well. So, yes, I do carry the burden too.

She’s not numb. She’s just sad and angry more often than she was, but the medication is helping. Not sure why getting my wife on anti-depression and anti-anxiety meds is a bad thing when she clearly needed it?

I gave her my boundaries and preferences, she met them. I meet her boundaries and preferences on my end. It works for us - that doesn’t make me an AH.

[–]Time-Dot-6608 3 points4 points5 points 7 months ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I have an IUD, which was implanted without pain or discomfort under a general anaesthetic (which I paid the OOPC), after a failed in clinic procedure. So, yes, well aware that thousands of people have the procedure done. If you research you will find that many many people ( like DT) struggle with the insertion of an IUD, this is exacerbated when you have not had a child vaginally.

You are an AH, as your preference to not wear a condom on occassion trumps your wifes 24/7 happiness, and results in her not having as “much fun” and makes her sad and angry. She only needed the medication and faces depression and anxiety- because of the introduction of an artificial hormone to her body that has directly caused this, not because this is the ONLY option- but because of your preference. You are facing the BURDEN of her depression and anxiety because of YOUR choice.

Now, if I could suspend all disbelief , sense pf ofairness, morality and whatever else- and acknowledge that it works for you and (as a by product her- although really?)…

You have chosen to not deeply appreciate and be shamefully grateful for the huge mental and physical sacrifice that your loving wife has made to you and your penis, and instead come online and told everyone how you should make your woman go on the pill, how easy it is for them, cause you are man and you have “preferences “(that most every other damn human has).

Feel free to shoot your wife through my reddit profile. I’ll happily contribute the first $1000 to her meeting with a divorce lawyer.

[+]Upstairs_Ear4172 4 points5 points6 points 7 months ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]Strong-Camp-4734 3 points4 points5 points 7 months ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[+]Upstairs_Ear4172 7 points8 points9 points 7 months ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]blackjustin 0 points1 point2 points 7 months ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Possible_Tomato1479 2 points3 points4 points 7 months ago (0 children) | Copy Link