I know this subreddit is not "free legal advice", and I am also aware that these questions are likely best answered by a lawyer. The thing is, after 8 years of trying to save enough money to hire a lawyer and working any job I can get from tech support/IT to delivering pizzas... I just totalled my car and have even LESS than I started with to see this through.

I'd be glad to share the whole story of my child support ordeal but it is long and I'd like to not scare anyone off if possible. So instead I will ask the specific questions. I will only add here that I love my son, have no problem with supporting him even if it is a little above my means.. I'll just have to work harder. I'd just like to be part of his life. I also, obviously would not mind paying a more "fair" amount.

  1. The mother lied about what State she was living in when child support was determined. How could this have benefited her and is there any recourse?

  2. The mother lied about how much money she was making at the time child support was assessed. Is there any way I can prove this and if so, would there be anything I could do with that information?

  3. I have visitation, she has moved all over the country and refuses to give me any contact information whatsoever. The courts tell me that neither they nor the mother are obligated to provide any contact information. Seems sort of like the states that say it is legal to smoke marijuana, you just can't possess, distribute, sell, buy, transport or manufacture it. I have the right to visit, but no right to the information required to make it happen.

  4. I pay what I consider a ridiculous amount of child support. I recently received a letter telling me my child support obligation was "up for review" but that I had to return the letter within three days of having received it. Problem is I didn't receive it until months later because it was stuck in my neighbors mailbox.. a neighboring townhouse I should say as no one lived there. The day the new neighbors moved in they brought it to me. Can I still ask for a modification?

  5. My child support was determined by Maryland. Since child support is owed from the time the paperwork was filed and not from the date of your court appearance I walked out owing more than 10k in "arrears". Over the 14 years of my son's life I have been unemployed for a total of about 20 months. Not all at once now, just all the "in between jobs" time added up. So my "arrears" have increased beyond the original 10k. I moved to Virginia and they took over my case. The exact same amount of arrears is listed on my credit report for Maryland AND Virginia. Is this normal? I called both States to ask this and they both told me I'd have to deal with the other State to get any resolution.

  6. Virginia charges interest on back child support. I get statements which show the previous balance, several payments are then listed, and then the current balance. The current balance is always MORE than the previous balance despite 5 or 6 payments in between. Is this normal/legal/ethical? Is there anything I can do about it?

  7. I have used legal aid in the past and I am fairly certain that is why I am in the predicament I find myself in. Now, because I was forced to move in with a good friend who makes a ton of money, my "household income" will no longer allow me to qualify for legal aid. I simply cannot afford a lawyer. I can't afford to eat, literally. I skip ALL meals 2 or 3 days a week and then gorge myself on dollar menu crap that is going to kill me. I know some lawyers do "pro bono" work and such but seeing as child support is the only dealings I have ever had with the legal system I don't feel like too much of an idiot for asking, how do I find these lawyers?

Thanks for any advice at all.

Even if no one responds to this, thanks to the creators and moderators of this subreddit.. you make my plight seem less insurmountable simply by existing!