Post abortive grief for men

SouthernSeeker · 2023-08-18T00:35:04+00:00

I'm sorry to hear that. I don't have anything directly to offer, but in case it helps: when I was going through some old documents after my father died, I found a pamphlet about fathers' grief after a miscarriage (my mother'd had one three years after I was born). It mentioned that men's feelings in that situation were usually ignored, and that wasn't healthy.

While I know it's not the same thing, looking into that area might point you towards someone or something that can help.

Educational_Tank_175 · 2023-08-17T23:09:06+00:00

What is done is done.

How you reach acceptance with it is a different matter.

Focus on the future and how you won't allow yourself to be in this position again.

Mourn the loss if you feel you must. But, you are mourning the loss of something you never truly had.

SteelTheUnbreakable · 2023-08-18T00:43:27+00:00

I've been there, man. Many years ago, and I still feel it.

It was rough. Actually, we both wanted to keep the child, but her parents pressured her into the abortion and eventually changed her mind.

The worst part is as I was going through it, every time I tried to find comfort, people treated me like I was a terrible human being because I wasn't "respecting her right to choose."

What's crazy is if I would have not wanted the kid and she did, I would have been on the hook for child support.

This world is fucking backwards.

No_Discipline_7867 · 2023-08-18T01:07:44+00:00

I know what you’re going through. I’ve been through it. A girlfriend I had many moons ago got pregnant and decided she wanted to abort it. I went through a lot mentally. There’s really nothing that can be done now. The only thing I can tell you is to keep your head up and try to move on, even though I know it can be difficult at times.

l33t-h4x0r-on-fet · 2023-08-17T23:01:14+00:00

If it was the right call it was the right call. Your partner is likely hurting too, maybe you can be of mutual support. It’s natural to feel a variety of emotions in these situations as you process so don’t pay any attention to the people mocking your experience.

Current_Finding_4066 · 2023-08-17T23:11:15+00:00

I am sorry you are going through this.

Cerberus11x · 2023-08-17T23:02:00+00:00

In what way are you struggling exactly? Do you regret that it happened? Is it just a generally icky feeling? Do you wish you were in a position where not aborting would have been a more viable option?

Za__guy · 2023-08-18T10:09:06+00:00

What the tuff part about the abortion you wanted and your girl did?

HotRaise4194 · 2023-08-18T14:08:08+00:00

I’ve always wondered what would happen if a man tried to claim damages in court from an abortion.

Frosty-Accident9604 · 2025-11-10T04:35:30+00:00

I am doing research on the post abortion experience of men. I would be honored to assist you and even tell some portions of your story if possible. https://post-abortion-men.com

Frosty-Accident9604 · 2026-01-24T04:20:00+00:00

Thanks for sharing this important request. Glad to provide resources if that is still a need.

JamesSediven · 2023-08-18T01:27:09+00:00

I advise you to go to your good holy elderly priest or your pastor or rabbi and tell him what happened. He can help you here.

Many men suffer from post-abortion. The truth is there before you always haunting you unless you get help. In 9 months you would have been holding your son or daughter. You are a father who ended your childs life. Thats the raw truth of the matter.

Now you need to own it, forgive yourself, and go to God and be forgiven in His mercy bro. And God will forgive you and raise you up but you must never do it again. Thats how you rise from the ashes and regain your inner peace and strength and dignity. Go to your good priest or pastor or rabbi.

No-Knowledge-8867 · 2023-08-18T06:50:42+00:00

Have you shared this with your partner? Let her know that you don't think she/we did the wrong thing. You just are struggling to deal with it, and that struggle made you realise that she might also be struggling. You might be able to help each other work through it together. Make a vow to each other to work together to not be in that situation again. And to be able to help each other out if you start to feel that either of you are struggling. You might struggle to share with her your pain, but you might also find that being able to help her cope might make you feel better in resolving your issue. You can't change the circumstances of the past, but you can change the future. Being there for her might alleviate some guilt and grief.

Wylanderuk · 2023-08-18T11:34:28+00:00

I feel you man, its been 24 years since my then partner had a abortion and it still hits me sometimes.

I dont know what to tell you buddy, apart from you are not alone in this.

Quarto9 · 2023-08-18T12:51:06+00:00

The Silent, Post-Abortion Grief of Men. https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/intense-emotions-and-strong-feelings/202209/the-silent-post-abortion-grief-men

Title	Post abortive grief for men
Author	tgracchus19
Upvotes	37
Comments	16
Date	August 17, 2023 9:59 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/15u16m3/post_abortive_grief_for_men/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/post-abortive-grief-for-men.1228811 https://theredarchive.com/post/1228811

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