Question for MR

ClaudioKillganon · 2013-05-11T05:54:37+00:00

Don't let the things you see here worry you. Talk to her about the stuff you see here and tell her you are really putting tons of trust and faith into her and your relationship. The stuff you see here is NOT common. Just make sure this chick isn't crazy and have fun falling in love. C:

geengaween · 2013-05-11T07:57:04+00:00

Welcome to Life son, she's a fickle bitch and she'll fuck you up. Problem is it's even worse if you let her pass you by while hiding in fear. Don't hide from life, take whatever she can throw at you on the chest and power through it.

Yes some women can destroy you, but if you're careful and not blinded by infatuation you'll be able to see whether she's a vindictive psycho or not. Your friends are often good judges of whether a woman is a keeper or not, because they're not thinking with their dicks like you will be.

Disorderly-Conduct · 2013-05-11T05:58:28+00:00

This is something you'll ultimately have to decide for yourself. Compare the benefits of the relationship with the downsides, write em down on paper if you have to. Is it potential rewards worth the potential risks? Remember that for every false accusation and unwanted fatherhood, there's many more relationships that worked out in the end.

You mentioned meeting her, is this an online thing? If so, there's nothing wrong with waiting a month or even more for sex until you've known each other IRL longer and built up trust in that area.

FloopPoop123 · 2013-05-11T13:30:38+00:00

Don't think that she'll do this to you just because she's a woman. This is the kind of thing that puts us above feminists.

jolly_mcfats · 2013-05-11T06:23:57+00:00

My suggestion is to figure out what risks you want to take, and keep an awareness about them as you take them. I wouldn't counsel you to avoid love or sex, but to never let yourself NEED them- and to learn to take emotional fulfillment from other avenues in addition to that one. Many men are suicide prone after divorce because they let themselves get into a situation where the only intimacy and affirmation they experience is from the woman who is now rejecting them. I wouldn't counsel you to avoid romantic love, but avoid the pitfalls of the stereotypical "you complete me" romantic love. Complete yourself, and find someone you think is also cool, and like to spend time with.

Learn to have meaningful friendships. Make human contact a priority in your life. If you do find yourself entering a marriage, don't ignore the risks you are taking (the high chance of divorce, and the hostile legal climate that awaits you if you are one of the statistical many), and take what precautions you can. Avoid relying on that protector/provider role for a sense of self worth- figure out what you enjoy, and make sure you spend some time doing it. Don't spend all your time alone, but make sure that you like yourself, and know how to have a good time hanging out with yourself.

And yes- practice safe sex. Talk dirty to your partner and make sure that you are both having a good time doing whatever you are doing.

The people with horror stories about bad divorces and custody situations are not making that up. But their experience isn't everyone's experience either. Just- try to do what you can to protect yourself against a bad outcome. Over fifty percent of marriages end in divorce, and divorce is ugly. You wouldn't get in a car without putting on your seatbelt if you knew there was a 50% chance of an accident, right? Life is risk, just don't be stupid about the way you take the risk.

Pecanpig · 2013-05-11T09:31:04+00:00

Is the possible reward of undying affection worth the high risk of getting fucked over?

No.

literallyschmiteraly · 2013-05-11T09:40:50+00:00

She might turn out to be the nicest person in the world and die of some horrible disease, which leaves you poverty stricken from medical bills. Or a fighter pilot might run out of gas and run his plane into your house, killing your wife and two kids while you are out at work (that happened). Sorry to be gruesome, but there's a million things that can go horribly wrong in life, you can't worry about it or you'll be too paralyzed to actually live it.

My advice for this particular situation is to check what all your friends and relatives think of her, before committing. They know you best.

DougDante · 2013-05-11T14:40:38+00:00

Is love even worth it? Is the possible reward of undying affection worth the high risk of getting fucked over?

Yes, and yes.

rightsbot · 2013-05-11T05:18:17+00:00

Post text automatically copied here. (Why?) (Report a problem.)

jpaul3211 · 2013-05-11T12:38:40+00:00

Is the possible reward of undying affection ...

That's an incredibly simplistic and idealistic view about relationships. I used to think like that untill I went to college.

And I'll give you some advice: you should get to know her long before you decide to sleep together. This is significant for any relationship. Our culture tells men to expect and want sex, and tells women to be ready for it, rather than telling them that they should wait a little and get to know each other, that there's something worthwhile in the courtship process.

If you decide to pursue a relationship, that is.

space253 · 2013-05-12T13:26:05+00:00

My wife is an MRA too, in fact she gets angrier about feminist bullshit than I do. She ends every rant with "...and that's why I can never keep any female friends for more than a few months!"

CrossHook · 2013-05-12T16:11:45+00:00

Playing it safe is incredibly risky.

That said, Fuck Feminism and Fuck the Gynocracy.

avantvernacular · 2013-05-13T20:55:24+00:00

Then can fuck you over. In many ways, you can also fuck them over. Make sure you're someone who won't. Find someone who won't. Don't settle for anything less than certainty.

It must be total trust, or nothing - take no middle ground.

Title	Question for MR
Author	YourKiddingMeRight
Upvotes	2
Comments	16
Date	May 11, 2013 5:17 AM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/mensrights/comments/1e45rv/question-for-mr/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/question-for-mr.1612473 https://theredarchive.com/post/1612473

Comments