Really feeling down right now. Don't know where else to vent

No_Association4981 · 2025-09-25T00:36:57+00:00

That's my situation right now. I hit a deer and lost my car. The next day my brother and his girl came over, and I felt like his girl and my girl were both being disrespectful. I explained to them why I thought so, and it blew way the fuck up out of proportion. Now Im single and living with my dad and everybody calls me an angry drinker, even the same brother and my mom drinks almost every day. Im getting so tired men, I was on the brink of suicide, but Ive grown much stronger and confident. You control your surroundings, don't surround yourselfs with people that wollow in self-pity. Also my ex has completely ghosted me for 2 months now, so ive had no closure and i just need to move on

SpaceFish24-7 · 2025-09-24T22:43:17+00:00

They dont like white knights. What a woman wants and what they go after are two completely different things. Put yourself first and enjoy what you do and make your own community and keep improving it and yourself.

wingedhussar161 · 2025-09-24T22:57:47+00:00

I’m really sorry, man. I’ve been there before. Been in a relationship where I gave my all for her and got treated like crap in return.

I hope you find true love soon.

Sitheral · 2025-09-25T06:16:35+00:00

You don't need to be an asshole. You need balance, like with everything in life. Don't be one thing.

You're not a cartoon character - you are human being. You can be asshole and you can be sweet.

OfcHesCanadian · 2025-09-24T23:34:28+00:00

You don’t show them that side of you until they know you aren’t a serial killer. Even then, show it all at once and it’s wraps. You have to sprinkle it in over time.

PastDifficulty7 · 2025-09-25T13:37:09+00:00

I am sorry you are going through it. It’s OK to put distance between yourself and your mother. You have to save yourself before you can save others.

I offer this, understanding I don’t fully know your situation; but that I recognize some pieces of a common pattern: narcissistic parents. If it doesn’t apply, then ignore me.

You will never be good enough for a parent with narcissistic tendencies. Yes, they may offer praise and validation, but it’s in relation to what you do for them. They will use anything to guilt and manipulate you, including your gender. It’s a nightmare dealing with narcissistic parents with failing health.

If your parent is a narcissist, then yes, becoming comfortable with feeling like an asshole is an important survival skill. A narcissist will make you feel like any kind of healthy boundary is asshole behavior.

The-Viking7890 · 2025-09-25T07:40:28+00:00

I’ll say this my friend. I have been there too. I’d say I was 20 or 21 when I was introduced to a cute girl and she immediately pegged me for “the too nice guy”. She explained that girls don’t like nice guys. They like assholes. That woke me up. Even after that, life has its ups and downs. But I promise, you must be selfish. Even this,…you should never share feelings like this with women. They will cut you with it later. Stoicism my friend. Stoicism is the answer. Good luck. PS…this may be a little self serving but I truly want to make videos and stuff for men and masculinity. Feel free to check my instagram to keep track. #the_political_viking

Just_an_user_160 · 2025-09-25T23:20:52+00:00

There's no need to become an asshole or anything, just don't feel pressured to help women all the time, unlike what feminists may say women don't like men that are too good with women.

AJafter · 2025-09-27T15:10:53+00:00

It's not that you should stop being kind to others, but first make sure that you are kind enough to yourself to make yourself happy. With children especially it can seem OK to be miserable as long as they're happy but we've got to put our own oxygen mask on first. Also we can make mistakes when trying to be kind, maybe we misunderstood what they wanted, or make a mistake helping, but the effort is always noble. Practice makes perfect.

anonymousNOU · 2025-09-30T14:59:32+00:00

I have struggled with this feeling many times too sweetheart. Just keep being your genuine self, honor your feelings, and give yourself the love and respect you deserve.

SneakyCatFarts007 · 2025-10-17T21:47:11+00:00

You need to learn the difference between being a Nice Guy and being a Good Guy. Massive difference.

starrylake- · 2025-11-01T22:59:42+00:00

Hihi... As a person who uses neopronouns so I don't really have any gender, I have this problem too with basically all my friends, ur not alone vro !1!1 I recommend making tea it helps me sometimes!

Zhezersheher · 2025-11-09T19:37:10+00:00

No mf you don’t have to become an asshole to maintain a relationship that’s toxic and dumb.

But, if you want to solve this issue whenever you think you should support someone ask

“is there anything I can do to support you?”

Otherwise you will do something you think is right but may be wrong which could be the reason people respond poorly to your support.

Jimithyashford · 2025-09-24T22:49:31+00:00

basically, if you are doing things for people to win their favor, stop. that doesn't work. Doesn't work professionally, romantically, among friends. pretty much the only place that works is with neighbors for stuff like borrowing a mower or feeding their dog while their out. But for almost any other relationships, trying to win favor by doing things for people isn't the way to go.

I'm not saying dont help people. Sure, help them, but trying to win their favor shouldn't be the reason why. Help them cause you like them or they like you or you get along or you are family or just to be nice. But don't do things for people and expect something in return that isn't already part of your dynamic.

Jimithyashford · 2025-09-24T22:31:08+00:00

Is it just women? I mean the world is full of selfish shitty people, but it's not normally just women.

Why do you feel this way specifically about women?

Icy-Friendship1163 · 2025-09-25T08:59:08+00:00

You need to be an assertive man ,not an asshole.

They want Alpha confident men with quiet dominance ,not assholes.

Women like assholes because of their fake confidence.

Learn game and how to be around women,It is just a skill you need to learn .

Title	Really feeling down right now. Don't know where else to vent
Author	Witoldski
Upvotes	114
Comments	23
Date	September 24, 2025 10:19 PM UTC (10 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1nppuat/really_feeling_down_right_now_dont_know_where/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/really-feeling-down-right-now-dont-know-where-else.1562727 https://theredarchive.com/post/1562727

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