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The backlash to Meghan Trainor's "Dear Future Husband" is just delicious. (tl;dr - "I hate it when two consenting adults choose the wrong lifestyle")

davidrexs

March 22, 2015
25 upvotes
/r/MensRights
https://archive.today/ubjSN
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Post Information
Title The backlash to Meghan Trainor's "Dear Future Husband" is just delicious. (tl;dr - "I hate it when two consenting adults choose the wrong lifestyle")
Author

davidrexs

Upvotes 25
Comments 36
Date March 22, 2015 10:16 AM UTC
(11 years ago)
Subreddit Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/2zw588/the_backlash_to_meghan_trainors_dear_future/
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/the-backlash-to-meghan-trainors-dear-future.985166
https://theredarchive.com/post/985166
Red Pill terms in post
feminism
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Comments

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points13 points 11 years ago* (5 children) | Copy Link

That critique is actually supportive of what we believe ... its critiquing the entitled bitch wife / husband henpecked slave mentality.

This rush to automatically say anything any feminist says its wrong, without thinking leads to us saying some things that are actually counter productive.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

I don't think it's wrong. Personally, I kinda agree. It's just incredibly authoritarian. I've also not noticed anybody in the MRM losing their shit over the fact that there's a pop song where somebody wants a traditional relationship.

Also, it's more what 'some of us believe'. It's aligning with the MGTOW end of the MRM spectrum as opposed to the neotrad end.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Well its nothing new for feminists to object to these gender roles and behaviors, they have been all along.

It might be a new theme in click bait media feminism - which is why the mrm might think its new.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

You're right. I just always find it interesting to see how feminists deal with high profile women who go off message. The comments section is a delight:

"Yeah, I do think her intentions are good, but she needs more evolved ideas of what gender equality looks like. Like, take one gender studies class, then try again, Meghan."

Orwell could not have written it better. (Well he could, and did with the whole Ministry of Love thing, but still). Thinking about it, it is kinda pleasing that there is no glaring schism between the traditional leaning MRAs and gender progressive MRAs like you see in this article.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

From the article

"In the last 24 hours, unless you live in a scientifically anomalous forcefield that protects you from the absolute worst of pop culture,"

Simply not being in, interested or following pop culture insulates you from pop culture. xojany is pop culture, the article is pop culture critiquing pop culture.

She is so in pop culture she has difficulty comprehending alternatives.

going back in to read the comments.

[–]1337Gandalf 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I think a lot of MGTOW/MRAs got fucking pissed at this song, but few voiced their opinions because it's not like anyone gives a shit. a woman acting enetitled to any and everything she wants is how the world works today, and saying anything against it will just get you the ire of everyone you say it to.

[–]ghebert001 11 points12 points13 points 11 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

"Dear future husband, Make time for me Don't leave me lonely And know we'll never see your family more than mine" Estrangement is soooo romantic.

I don't know...I think I can get behind these criticisms of the song. I'm all for consenting adults doing what they want but men need to be taught to avoid the type of woman Megan Trainor is portraying in the song's lyrics...they are toxic, hypergamous and simply want to exploit men's nature of wanting to please women.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

It's just traditionalism really. It's not really for me, but I'm all for personal choice and don't really see a 50s style family as being toxic, just as I don't see an egalitarian or matriarchal household as toxic. If that's what two people want, live and let live, who am I to send them to Room 101 for reeducation.

Those traditional relationships aren't really exploitative so long as it is what both parties want. They're more or less mutually exploitative/beneficial in the way they divide labour.

[–]Azothlike 7 points8 points9 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

No, it's not traditionalism.

Traditionalism is not deferring to your wife 24/7. Traditionalism is not sacrificing your relationship with your family.

Go watch some 50s-style sitcoms and count how many times the wife acts like an entitled twat and the husband apologizes for it. It's next to none.

Some lyrics in this song are traditionalist, but some are typical, modern, anti-male fare.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Meh, fuck it. You are right. I was mostly just happy to see feminists going apoplectic.

[–]MonkeyCB 6 points7 points8 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

It's not. She won't cook or clean but he's gotta be "traditional"? It's the new thing, where women want their cake and eat it too. They want to be free and empowered to do what they want while avoiding their own roles/contributions. Then they turn around and demand romance, gifts, relationships and all that bullshit from the past.

Sorry but that's not going to fly. There's a reason there are so many single and unmarried women out there and it's not because they have degrees or are "intelligent".

[–]ghebert001 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

Traditional relationships don't seem exploitative because men are brainwashed to think that's what they want. I'm not here to change your opinion or anything...more and more men are starting to wise up so they are seeing there's not so much in it for them with traditionalism which in my opinion is a good thing for men. Maybe not so good for women who will find it harder to find men to be in traditional relationships with or society who will have fewer men working the tough and dangerous jobs.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Personally, it's not something I want. If I were to get into another long term relationship I'd like it to be Egalitarian and it wouldn't involve marriage. However, the traditional system and strong family units has had a proven track record of being beneficial to society and so long as it is strictly down to a division of labour (ie: one party making bare dollar, the other doing kids and house; not the sudo-historical notion that one party domineers over the other) then I don't see any massive problems with it if that's what people want to do. It was mostly a pretty even trade off of money and security going in one direction, kids and care going in the other. If you want kids (that you get to see), it's still probably the safest bet. All nice and unhealthily co-dependent. It's the way things worked for millenia out of necessity, and we seem to have done alright. We've got aeroplanes that can fly themselves and Oculus Rift headsets. It's just not necessary anymore, so do what you want.

Just out of interest though, what do you think the best arrangements would be for somebody who either wants to cohabit or cohabit and have kids with a woman?

[–]ghebert001 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Just out of interest though, what do you think the best arrangements would be for somebody who either wants to cohabit or cohabit and have kids with a woman?

Check the common-law marriage laws in your state/province and if she's not entitled to any of your assets or property in the event of the break-up of a common-law marriage then sure...get a vasectomy to make sure there are no "oops" babies and go for it. As for cohabit with a woman and have kids? Make sure there are no red flags, make sure she is 100% trustworthy. You can never be 100% sure so there is always a risk. The least amount of risk if you want a relationship with a woman is never move in together although having kids wouldn't work out so well in that situation.

[–]Azothlike 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Traditional relationships aren't exploitative. Dear Future Husband is not about traditional relationships.

Traditional relationships are founded on the idea of the man working and supporting the family, and the woman doing all of the work at home(cleaning/cooking) and generally understanding that her role in the relationship is that of support and home care; not being an entitled ass, being an emotional loon, arguing, and demanding additional favors in return for sex.

If anything, modern relationships are exploitative. Women still want all the benefits of traditional relationships(a man that makes more than she does, chivalry, etc), and none of the responsibilities(home care, support).

[–]Wargame4life 13 points14 points15 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

We all know this song will be playing in the background of the small dingy flat of a woman on her 3rd glass of wine alone in her pyjamas crying to herself that nobody wants to marry her because she is too "fierce"

The great response in musical form would be this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yR6A-Bk9eZQ

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

It's also great how feminists seem more than happy to adopt MGTOW attitudes when it comes to combating neotraditionalism. ("Bitch, I owe you nothing.")

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Whoever says that that song is painting the picture of traditional marriage is downright smoking rocks. There is absolutely nothing traditional about that beyond it ostensibly involves a male and a female calling themselves husband and wife. Beyond that, it's nothing but gynocentric domineering militant cuckolding disguised as a marriage.

[–]solaria_mra 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Meghan Trainor should marry that douche bag from Everclear:

http://youtu.be/tg4UEwT4Hao

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

There is nothing good about that song. Is that a professional band?

[–]scanspeak 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I have no idea who the author is but I think the article was spot on.

[–]xNOM 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

This song is the musical equivalent of the "I have tits; give me free stuff" meme.

LOL

[–]solaria_mra 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Errrrrr, as much as I don't give a fuck about whether or not pop music lyrics are "problematic", I gotta say that this is a pretty legitimate critique of the song.

[–]EvilPundit 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

make time

You have no chance to survive. Make your time. 

[–]mikesteane 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Don't forget; her future husband will probably be a cat.

[–]3delQ8 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

So now its wrong to want a traditional marriage ?

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Apparently. On the bright side, maybe you'll get put on the same reeducation program as Meghan and start a beautiful--yet illicit--love affair.

[–]Azothlike 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Who said anything about traditional marriages?

There is nothing "traditional marriage" about Meghan's umpteenth entitled bullshit hit.

[–]prybarn 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Either way, only like 1/3 of people in their 20's and 30's are married these days.

[–]govt_took_my_baby[🍰] 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

AWALT

[–]Blutarg -1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

LOL, "heteronormative."

[–]Doulich -2 points-1 points0 points 11 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

Non-archive.today link, if you actually want to support the author with your revenue.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

Why would you want to give XOJane revenue?

[–]Doulich 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Because they can see that the revenue comes from their pro male article, so they will write more pro male articles to get more money.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

I'm really not sure this is a pro-male article. It's just anti that sort of women. Any beneficial aspect for men derived from this article is coincidental. Nobody set out to write an article protecting the interests of men, only to slag off certain women. I assure you that as a feminist writer, it is very unlikely that she would support the MRM

[–]Doulich 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Quotes from the article that make it pro-male

Screw your wants and needs, dude. (author interpretation of lyric meaning)

You're not owed a date (author speaking to Trainor)

In other words, don't just put up with behavioral bullshit — reward it. (author interpretation of lyric)

it's all sorts of messed up to dangle sex like a carrot in front of your partner until they yield to your self-righteousness.

Don't almost say "head" and then scold the poor dude for finishing the sentence the way anyone would!

This is a sloppily decoupaged ransom note to a hypothetical man whose dignity is being held hostage.

Did someone tell Meghan Trainor that feminism is unchecked, unconditionally rewarded female chauvinism and disrespect for men?

The author is obviously pro-equality, but just associates herself with feminism as a label.

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