~ archived since 2018 ~

Thought I would share since I only ever see posts here that have the opposite. Our rec center has two bathrooms: one inclusive for everyone, and one just for men.

janearcade

May 30, 2019

73 upvotes

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Post Information

Title	Thought I would share since I only ever see posts here that have the opposite. Our rec center has two bathrooms: one inclusive for everyone, and one just for men.
Author	janearcade
Upvotes	73
Comments	54
Date	May 30, 2019 10:19 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/buzdwa/thought_i_would_share_since_i_only_ever_see_posts/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/thought-i-would-share-since-i-only-ever-see-posts.1206543 https://theredarchive.com/post/1206543

Comments

[–]fra_n_ff 20 points21 points22 points 7 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]janearcade 4 points5 points6 points 7 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]mrmensplights1 points 7 years ago* [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]janearcade 3 points4 points5 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]SeelachsF 22 points23 points24 points 7 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]janearcade 11 points12 points13 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]denyjunctionfunction 8 points9 points10 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]tenchineuro 6 points7 points8 points 7 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]janearcade 6 points7 points8 points 7 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]tenchineuro 4 points5 points6 points 7 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]janearcade 2 points3 points4 points 7 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]Tayzey 2 points3 points4 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]janearcade 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]burgeoningboysclub 5 points6 points7 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]janearcade 4 points5 points6 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]vatased 2 points3 points4 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]fm369 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (32 children) | Copy Link

[–]janearcade 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (31 children) | Copy Link

[–]tenchineuro 2 points3 points4 points 7 years ago (30 children) | Copy Link

[–]janearcade 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (29 children) | Copy Link

[–]tenchineuro 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (28 children) | Copy Link

[–]janearcade 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (27 children) | Copy Link

[–]tenchineuro 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (26 children) | Copy Link

[–]janearcade 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (25 children) | Copy Link

[–]tenchineuro 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (24 children) | Copy Link

[–]janearcade 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (23 children) | Copy Link

That's pretty much where we are now and you seem to think bringing up men's issues makes it into a contest, and you think that's a bad idea apparently.

No. You said the country I live gives all women privilege over men. I said that is not true in all cases. You came back saying "better to deny that men have any problems or even can have any problems and spend all the aid money on women." Never once (please quote me if I did) say that we should "deny men's problems."

One of the reasons I don't identify as a feminist is the "men are at fault for everything" rhetoric I often read. I thought MRM was meant to be more balanced, until I meet people who seem to believe "women are at fault for everything." Can no one see that both genders have their issues?

I'm talking about the government, if they don't fund it, you don't do it.

Bullshit right here. I get exactly zero dollars for what I do outside of community donors. If people are passionate about something they don't need government permission.

Does Canada follow the new APA guidelines which pretty much blame all men's problems on toxic masculinity?

I am not in psychology so someone else might better equipt to answer. I am a social worker (child welfare/family court), and we do not.

[–]tenchineuro1 point 7 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

That's pretty much where we are now and you seem to think bringing up men's issues makes it into a contest, and you think that's a bad idea apparently.

No. You said the country I live gives all women privilege over men.

Let's review what I've said...

Canada is so pro-woman that they've effectively removed from men the right to defend themselves in rape cases, so this is passing odd. I doubt it would survive a complaint.
I don't know if you've been following the doings of Canada's Prime Minister person, Justin Trudeau, but he's been hard at work replacing every use or the word 'man' with 'person', cause you know, men are a problem. And I suspect that should an indigenous man and an indigenous woman run afoul of the law, the indigenous women will fare better. YMMV I guess.
Yeah, it's better to deny that men have any problems or even can have any problems and spend all the aid money on women. Check.

I said that is not true in all cases.

I did not say "all cases". I mentioned specific issues, which I can validate if you've not heard of them.

You came back saying "better to deny that men have any problems or even can have any problems and spend all the aid money on women." Never once (please quote me if I did) say that we should "deny men's problems."

After I mentioned the specific issues above you responded...

but I also realise the pissing contest of who has it worse seldom helps anything.

So it seems that bringing up men's issues is a pissing contest, and you don't think doing so helps anything. So that's a vote for the status quo near as I can tell.

One of the reasons I don't identify as a feminist is the "men are at fault for everything" rhetoric I often read. I thought MRM was meant to be more balanced, until I meet people who seem to believe "women are at fault for everything." Can no one see that both genders have their issues?

Let me know when men's issues are taken as something other than children whining for lost privilege or a joke.

Bullshit right here. I get exactly zero dollars for what I do outside of community donors. If people are passionate about something they don't need government permission.

This tells me nothing.

I am a social worker (child welfare/family court), and we do not.

I've heard a lot about social workers locally, and since I don't have anything good to say I think I'll drop it. But I will note that the overwhelming majority of social workers are women here.

[–]janearcade1 point 7 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Let me know when men's issues are taken as something other than children whining for lost privilege or a joke.

Often where I live. Sorry that you have somehow been left behind. I'm not mad about wild generalizations, so if you want to be a "all men get the shaft/ all women are privileged" I'm the wrong person to talk to.

You have already decided you're the victim, so good luck! All women are bad, all social workers are bad, you aren't hear in any kind of good faith.

You obviously want to play the pissing contest and won't hear a word against your notion that men are so hard done by they are all abused, and have no way to change that, and no one could possibilty give a shit about that. Cheers- glad I don't have people spouting that BS in my real life, and they can understand complexity and nuance :)

[–]SpellCheck_Privilege1 point 7 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]tenchineuro1 point 7 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]janearcade1 point 7 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]tenchineuro1 point 7 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]AlphaCentauri2211 point 7 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I don't know where you both took the argument and I'm not going to speak for anyone.

However, I would like to clarify that the Men's Rights Movement doesn't believe "women are at fault for everything." But we do put feminists at that place as they have been behind the anti-male laws passed by the lawmakers. And, if you've come across any such person saying "women are at fault for everything," they are a troll. As, the MRM doesn't and no MRA does. They are just someone with a random username on internet, they're no MRA. MRAs are the ones who matter.

We wouldn't be against feminism if the feminists who put "men are at fault for everything" would have been some few strangers with random usernames on internet, but we're against feminism because all the prominent and internationally recognized feminists are of such views and have been responsible for the need of Men's Rights. If MRAs would practice any such same means towards women, even they would lose their significance and support by the MRM. But, presently MRAs are fighting for men's rights which would not come at the cost of discrimination against women and support women's rights as long as it stands on gender equality and is not anti-male.

Can no one see that both genders have their issues?

All MRAs have agreed to that.

[–]janearcade1 point 7 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I feel like I'm stuck.

I am not a feminist, and never have been. I am openly not a feminist, though do want to understand their position, and agree with some of what they have done. The same with MRAs.

I thought I might lean to MRM, but most of the people I meet there hold the same perspective as feminists, but with the genders reversed. Instead of hearing "Men are at fault for everything," I hear "Women are the fault of everything."

I'm searching for people who are pasisonate about gender roles outside of that black/white notion that one gender has it all, the other has nothing. . But then I come to MRM, and have users do the exact same thing with the genders reversed, is equally as frustrating.

But I do see areas where women are disadvantaged. I also see areas where men are. What I do see, is the value in forever focusing on who has it worse, and not on the specific areas we want to change.

[–]AlphaCentauri2211 point 7 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

But I do see areas where women are disadvantaged. I also see areas where men are.

Over here in the MRM we're presently very concerned with legal discrimination against men. Currently, women are well protected by the legal system and by that I mean the laws. If you know of the child custody cases and the divorce courts, you would well be aware of that. Like women have the right to sue their ex-husband for child support after paternal fraud against them resulting in men being forced to pay child support for the child who is not even their's. Not to mention the high level of emotional abuse that the man has to go through in paternal frauds, but is totally ignored by the courts with no conviction for the woman who did that. I don't think so there is any higher level of emotional abuse than paternal fraud, and yet it is being neglected by the courts. So, these are some real big issues we're fighting for. And, divorce courts are heavily sexist against men. And, when I say that I really feel for it and scared. Because it's really fucked up like men having been scrapped off their entire life savings, being turned into slaves by being slapped with very high alimony, etc. being refrained from their own children, I've come across many fathers in this sub who haven't been able to see their own children for years because their children's mothers misused the laws. And, the numbers of such fathers exempted from their children is disturbingly high. Just imagine the media uproar had this been the case for women. So, you see whenever there are some issues of grave concern with women, there is a huge media uproar, but when it is of men, the media doesn't give a dime. And, you would be well aware of that if you know about the feminist protests against The Red Pill. So, this is the kind of sexism we're fighting against and it greatly exists. The mainstream media today plays a big role as no issue can be addressed without its awareness and when one entire group is being silenced, it makes it difficult to address that group's issues.

[–]janearcade1 point 7 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

It's funny because that's the exact area I work in, and started a NFP years ago just for this exact demographic (it's my pet passion), yet even then, I see complexity and nuance in it.

But I also feel no no amount of saying, "Yes, there is sexism in this, here is how we can work on, we need to look at the role of both men and women and why it's failing," works. I get, "Men just get fucked over so they don't even try anymore. Fucking women get everything."

I get being all the things you listed, but any feminist would write the exact same list of areas where they feel like women are disadvantaged. We can do more than one thing. I can, on one hand, support a cause for men and support a cause for women. But right now the anger on both sides makes both groups sound exactly the same "It's not us, it's all them."

[–]AlphaCentauri2211 point 7 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

any feminist would write the exact same list of areas where they feel like women are disadvantaged.

Are there women who are being enslaved by their ex husbands with alimony and child support? Because saying women are disadvantaged by our current laws is a myth. Whether there are social issues are not, but if we're talking about laws, yes women are not at all disadvantaged there except few laws like ban of abortion. But, that's it. I've never seen any woman being disadvantaged in the courts yet. If anything they're advantaged because when women slap false accusations on men, and the same is proven but only after the fatal consequence of the man having spent years of his life in prison for something he didn't even do, having his career ruined and in turn his life, those women are not held accountable for ruining those men's life. They're just either given some detention and community service, no conviction at all for abusing the law to ruin a man's life. So how is it that women are at all disadvantaged except in the case of abortion ban?

And, the feminists who write those issues are not always true. Like for abortion I would agree, but the gender pay gap is a lie, and if you've been in this sub, I guess you know it.

We can do more than one thing. I can, on one hand, support a cause for men and support a cause for women.

Agreed. Because I already do, at least the real causes like abortion and not the fake ones. I stand for both women's rights and men's rights as long as they are not trying shun the other side.

[–]janearcade1 point 7 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]AlphaCentauri2211 point 7 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

If abortion is the only issue in which you believe women don't have

It's the biggest issue I'm aware of. And, I meant any such genuine issue, abortion was an example.

you can choose to believe or not, but I work with women all the time who get fucked over by men regarding custody and divorce, especially in cases of arranged marriages

If what you said is true, it definitely needs to be addressed. I am for both men and women. I don't how it got this fucked up that we have decided to side with our gender and compete against the other. If anything we're our natural allies who need to work towards our betterment and happiness. And, trust me I'm not those absurd minded feminists who will say "but women are relatively more abused sexually" so, we should address women. It's not a fucking a competition. And, so yeah, I won't say that the number of men who are discriminated against is significantly higher and with women is rare (and I feel it is rare with women, because whenever anything close to such happens with them, the mainstream media blasts, like it had blasted a few days ago with a high school teacher who had "sex" with two male minors and got fired for it and is now jobless, although I didn't dig deep into it, it is well known that even if it is a case of "rape", the media writes it as "sex" in case the rape was committed by the woman, and yes this is true, not making this up, absurdly true. However, when a man has his career ruined and is jobless because he was falsely accused by a woman, he doesn't get the same treatment by this same mainstream media.) But, what I'm concerned about is the sexism against men in the courts, as it prevails in EVERY case. We need immediately address this. And that's what MRM is trying to.

[–]AlphaCentauri2211 point 7 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]janearcade1 point 7 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

See, this is where MRA lose me. Do you genuinely think that in every area we need to improve as humankind, men are the only ones who need help?

Again, I am not a feminist. I am saying that for every "What about the men?" issue I see flamed in feminism, I now see a "What about the women?" flamed in MRA.

I am a woman, but with great people of both genders in my life. I won't send any of them into the world saying "Everything wrong is your fault."

I actually almost give more judos to people who openly say "I have made up my mind that my gender has always, and will always be worse off and yours is the problem," because I don't waste my time and precious resources.

It's the "We should all be looking out for each other, but they aren't so I won't and screw them because we have it worse" mentality that I don't think has any longevity for real change.

[–]AlphaCentauri2211 point 7 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]janearcade1 point 7 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]AlphaCentauri2211 point 7 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I'm going to keep this short and will be my last comment as I need get back to my studies.

There are no laws where I live that state "Men cannot have custody of children" or "Males are prohibited from alimony."

I never claimed that. But what I did claim is that there are several many cases in which a man has to pay child support for a child who is not even his. That even when there is a high level of emotional abuse of paternal fraud the man doesn't get any justice on the contrary he is slapped with alimony and is scrapped of a good deal of his property and assets for a woman who has betrayed him at the worst level. And, the number of cases in which it is the ex-wife who had been proven to be the abusive parent in the court was still given custody, endangering the child and being unjust to the father. Even after it was proven in the court. So yeah, the courts are sexist against men in a manner you can never imagine.

Like I said I need to leave now but if you wish to know more about this, you can check out "The Red Pill". It's the perfect documentary on the MRM.

Cheers. I liked that you're supportive of both women's and men's rights. We need this exact mentality. And, don't think I choose men's rights over women's rights. I support both of them, I'm just very concerned with this power of men being held accountable for an accusation by women without being proven guilty as this puts every man at risk from women who seek to take personal revenge. This is a very anti-male law and I'm strongly against it.

[–]janearcade1 point 7 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]AlphaCentauri2211 point 7 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]janearcade1 point 7 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]AlphaCentauri2211 point 7 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]janearcade1 point 7 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Roosty_Breadman 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]janearcade 2 points3 points4 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Lion_amongst_gods 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]DavidByron2 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

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