We should give more advice on this sub

AsphaltCuisine · 2022-03-17T17:42:42+00:00

I remember distinctly when Brett Kavanaugh was being selected to serve in the Supreme Court. I voiced my opinion that, even though it's POSSIBLE he did rape her, I believe in the notion that founded this country of "innocent until proven guilty."

A stronger argument would be to point out that absolutely no one was accusing him of rape.

Ford's story was that he wrestled her onto the bed in front of his friend, put his hand on her mouth when she tried to scream, and then let her go and fell off the bed laughing.

The fact that even you turned that into "maybe he raped her" is pretty indicative of just how fucked up that media coverage was.

CawlinAlcarz · 2022-03-17T18:41:28+00:00

The best advice that can be found on this or any other forum for men going through contentious divorces with children in the balance is to seek out PROFESSIONAL advice from attorneys and/or advocacy groups that have father's rights in mind.

There is value in men sharing their experiences, but when it comes to legal issues - every situation is different, that's what attorneys and advocacy groups specialize in and that's why they should be contacted, rather than taking actual ADVICE from randos on the internet.

With all of that said, I don't have any links to such attorneys or advocacy groups, but I know some around here do (I am also too busy with other things to look up or google these sorts of things for you). If someone has them handy, by all means, please post them.

Lutanosilam · 2022-03-17T21:07:20+00:00

Since you want to give advice, then your advice on this would be nice.

So my problem is that when people ask me what I am reading and I explain to them, last time it was about how men was treated as abuser when they were being abused and women who was abusing men was prioritized even when a man sat bleeding from his arm. My friend then asked me, what is the proof for this. I literally just felt terrible, not because it was a bad question, proof is important, but what made me feel bad was that we were currently working on #metoo as an assignment and he never questioned the proof in the cases.n So just because I was reading in this subreddit about problems faced by men he questioned it and seemed offended that I could read about this. Later he has asked me if I am again reading on this subreddit and I could hear the spite in his voice. My question is just how do you deal with the feeling of judgment and that people do not listen when you talk about issues facing men.

Billy-Batdorf · 2022-03-18T00:15:24+00:00

The goal of a political movement is power, through activism, legal challenge, politics, social work, etc. "Advice" cannot lead to Men having rights. Neither can posting outrage articles, whining about pop culture or "misandry". Feminists did not become powerful through "advice". they enmeshed themselves with the State through legal challenges and mass movements.

UnconventionalXY · 2022-03-18T04:20:52+00:00

Women are literally driving men to MGTOW, so I suggest let them have what they want: they need to face the consequences of their actions. Men can look after themselves: women can't.

Why is having a relationship with a woman the only goal in life for men? I would suggest that is simply following biology and society wanting to keep the economy growing unsustainably, not employing reason.

Being a man does not depend on having sex or a relationship with a woman: gay men are still men after all and even asexual men are men. A man is simply a human male with basic behavioural patterns defined by his DNA, but capable of being moderated to achieve higher order purposes for a win-win through his evolved brain and reason.

I suggest men think about the fundamental things they want and to seek fulfillment in those individually, not necessarily through a single person, whilst also caring about what others want and finding solutions that are as much a win-win as possible through employing reason.

Sex is an important fundamental for men (I think women have other objectives that compete), yet men in general have not even begun to explore their own erotic potential beyond a narrow vanilla avenue, due to entrenched taboos. Sex with another certainly adds an extra dimension and whilst sexual orientation is influential, I'm not convinced it is absolute considering men in restricted environments still often have sex with each other despite not being gay or bisexual in many cases. I believe sex and sharing intimacy is absolute, not necessarily which human gender you share it with. Desperate times create desperate measures as they say.

Then there's prostitution. Men should not feel they are less of a man for needing to use the services of a prostitute, because women in general are too risky. I think men pay one way or another for sex with women.

Friends are always important and just as friends can share a game of squash for recreational enjoyment, I can't see why they can't share recreational sex if both are interested and consent.

I think entrenched homophobia is the biggest obstacle to MGTOW as it reduces options for fulfillment, independent of women.

When it comes to love, I'm not convinced men need or experience the same love that women aspire to (which I suspect is a mix of "love" and protection). That they might want a form of love is likely, but I'm not convinced society has actually canvassed what that form is. People talk of "bromance" which is perhaps the closest, being a mix of "love" and respect and only possible because it's something in common for men and less available from women. Then there is "falling in love" which is natures way of drugging people to stay together long enough to procreate, despite their differences.

Men are creatures of doing and problem solving and so need occupation that challenges their skills. I think women are fundamentally linked to children because of their biology and so most everything they do is in service to this in some way, even careers are probably in order to make enough money to support children in spite of men.

MRA_TitleIX · 2022-03-18T14:00:20+00:00

Activism >>> ragebait. A lot of what you describe is learning how to deal with this shit, and I am not so sure we should. Let it make you upset. Channel that into activism.

Activism is tiring work that saps a lot of mental energy. It's not just work, it's work that is hard, everyone tries to stop you from doing it, there is failure more than not, and it drains your mental energy.

What we need is more activists. Sure posting ragebait online can, in its own way, be activism. What is the point if people are aware but no one does anything? What we need are people that turn their awareness into action and put pressure on systems to change. That is why I am in Title IX activism.

You said you are in university. Are you in the US? Would you like to file a Title ix complaint with the feds against some stuff at your school? It's free and doesn't require an attorney. We can author it together. Sometimes having a student at the school is critical for gathering evidence and statements.

The epic of my activism in Title IX is that I am slowly working on building a pantheon of evidence that OCR is in dereliction of their duty in overseeing civil rights at schools. Every case is a stepping stone to building that argument. Every failure is one more example to use in my eventual complaint about the agency. It all helps, but it is hard as hell to do it alone. On average I probably put 30 hours a week into my activist work.

You know what would be damning evidence? If we can point to parity or better in genders filing cases with OCR and show that OCR disproportionately dismisses mens cases or rules against them. If we can cite specific examples of cases they not only fucked up, but fucked up in obviously intentional ways. We need more people out here helping.... badly.

Title	We should give more advice on this sub
Author	JamesChen19
Upvotes	62
Comments	20
Date	March 17, 2022 5:34 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/tgflvy/we_should_give_more_advice_on_this_sub/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/we-should-give-more-advice-on-this-sub.1107100 https://theredarchive.com/post/1107100

Comments