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Mylon
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[–]TeaDrinkingBarbarian43 points 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
As a depressed man I can tell you exactly why depression is under-reported in men. It's because although a lot of people will say that they want to see the fragile human behind the mask of masculinity, the reality is that as soon as a man shows he isn't bulletproof he's left to rot - society has little use for what is essentially a faulty machine, and wherever possible won't waste valuable resources on trying to help the less important of the two genders.
[–]subzero_6006 points 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
That was one of the major reasons why I didn't want to get help when dealing with my Demons. Then even when I was getting was getting help, I had trouble opening up and took quite a while for me to feel comfortable enough to talk about the underlying issues I was having.
Once you realise that most people are out there to help you and it's not a weakness to ask for help, you will have a much happier life.
[–]WWLadyDeadpool3 points 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
When I was in the military, I knew a few friends were dealing with depression, but I never really knew what to do, since they didn't want to talk about it.
I tried giving them more compliments, inviting them out, etc. but I really don't know how a person would help someone who feels like they have to suffer in silence.
[–]IgnatiusBSamson2 points 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
This. Cunt of an ex-GF peaced for that very reason.
[–]SRSLovesGawker6 points 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Herein lies the problem with being a man who has problems. Whether you agree with it or not, men are looked at and presumed to be the ones to be capable and resilient. If you are not capable, you're useless. If you are not resilient, you can't be trusted to bear up when the chips are down.
So we're in a catch-22. The men who are least likely to need help are the ones who people would be most accepting of asking for it. The ones who most need the help are considered unworthy of receiving it. Thus, problems have to be damn near fatal before we seek out help; anything else is an admission of weakness... weakness we're told makes us unworthy of any help whatsoever.
The solution would be for men to realize that what society expects is frequently fucked and to do what's best for oneself, but given that we're a deeply social species that tends to crave and thrive on peer approval, that seems unlikely to happen any time soon.
[–]Mylon1 point 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Part of taking charge of one's own destiny, one's own identity, is to thumb your nose at social conventions and do what's right. There's something to be said about enlightened self interest and if it's being done to stop the misery of depression, to prevent a senseless death to what is often a chemical imbalance, then fuck those social norms. Life is too damn important to spend it making other people happy on superficial points.
[–]WWLadyDeadpool6 points 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
This makes sense, but a guy who is already feeling depressed and isolated probably isn't in a position to feel empowered to stand up against society.
[–]Qapiojg2 points 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Part of taking charge of one's own destiny, one's own identity, is to thumb your nose at social conventions and do what's right.
The thing about going against social conventions is that there are punishments for doing so. I have shown my weaknesses and sought my help, as such my punishment is ostracism.
You can't expect everyone to take those punishments. It was easy for me, because of my AvPD and the nature of my existence. For anyone who's even relatively socially acceptable I'd imagine that choice is worlds more difficult.
[–]IgnatiusBSamson1 point 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Right, but those of us who would have our lives derailed by seeking treatment for depression (military, LEO, politics) can't really go that route.
[–]garybuseysawakening1 point 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Whether you agree with it or not, men are looked at and presumed to be the ones to be capable and resilient.
It's more "men are looked at and the ought to be the ones to be capable and resilient."
[–]Mylon4 points 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Don't just "man up". If you're having problems, get help.
[–]Pariah__Dog4 points 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
If only it were so easy.
[–]rgeek1 point 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
The Aus govt had a wonderful solution. Instead of calling it "mental health" problem, they called it a "mental fitness" problem.
Link
I don't think changing the name will change the stigmas
[–]GenderNeutralLanguag1 point 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Naming is a powerful thing. Never underestimate the power of naming something well.
[–]Qapiojg1 point 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
For some things, yes. But not when the change is so easily translated. The discs computer games are stored on have changed from CDs to DVDs, but what do you call it when you chuck it in there? And even though BluRay is slowly moving in, we're still going to know them as CDs.
[–]ParanoidAgnostic1 point 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Cretin, Idiot, Imbicile, Moron, Retard, Special... We keep changing the term because the previous one became an insult.
No matter what word you choose, if it refers to something negative it will take on negative connotations.
Bad analogy. Being retarded is always a bad thing. The associations with "retard" are the associations with the actual condition. Most of the associations with "Mental Illness" are not associations with the actual condition, but stereotypes and fear mongering.
Mental illness is a good thing?
Having poor mental health isn't a good thing, but having poor physical health isn't a good thing. The word "Mental Illness" counjours up associations with mass murders and serial rapists, not people who struggle to get out of bed in the morning.
Nothing about the term itself conjures up images of serial killers. That's due to media representations of mental illness. Changing the term won't change that.
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[–]TeaDrinkingBarbarian43 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]subzero_6006 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]WWLadyDeadpool3 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]IgnatiusBSamson2 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]SRSLovesGawker6 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]Mylon1 point [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]WWLadyDeadpool6 points [recovered] | Copy Link
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[–]IgnatiusBSamson1 point [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]garybuseysawakening1 point [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]Mylon4 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]Pariah__Dog4 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]rgeek1 point [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]Qapiojg2 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]GenderNeutralLanguag1 point [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]Qapiojg1 point [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]ParanoidAgnostic1 point [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]GenderNeutralLanguag1 point [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]ParanoidAgnostic1 point [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]GenderNeutralLanguag1 point [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]ParanoidAgnostic1 point [recovered] | Copy Link