Why do people hate incels so much?

Sithis1979 · 2020-02-18T00:02:34+00:00

People are predatory by nature and the weakest prey is always the first to go in nature. It is the same reason most sexual predators go after children, they are easy vulnerable targets.

Lethn · 2020-02-18T02:40:04+00:00

I feel tremendously bad for these incels but to better their cause they need to not lash out at women, and seek help for themselves. I do find it absolutely atrocious that people mock them, but I understand why if the incels are the first to lash out. This carpet hate of them is sick though, it's a huge generalization.

killcat · 2020-02-18T02:45:08+00:00

Easy. They want tot totally exclude, and have the right to exclude, any men they deem unattractive or "creepy" that covers all incels, so now they need a 'reason" to do so, ergo they are "dangerous".

Fopeandhear · 2020-02-18T06:34:39+00:00

I hate when people confuse them with /mensrights. Just read those subs for a few hours and you will see that everything revolves around hatred, negativity, suicidal thoughts and the fact that they are undateable.

Women don't care about them in any way and that is the main incel problem. Can you blame them?
Understandable, why would men want to associate with people who are always depressed and negative? Do you want people around you who constantly bring you down?
Incels are the example of what happens to a guy when he blames all his failures on women. Have you actually read the blackpill? And you expect people to like it? C'mon.
Because that's exactly what incels do, ridiculing others who have a better life. Calling them white knights, cucks, chads, betas, simps (yes, I read these on incel subs now). They isolate themselves when they use these phrases. Why would I want to be friends with someone who thinks like that?

These subs get the hate because ideas like that won't help anybody at all but lock them in a downward spiral of self-pity and depression. Instead of bettering themselves they just write sad stories to justify their hatred against women and more successful men. They are hiding in those subs because it's easier than changing a bad personality. Why is it that incel subs are always about hot women and not the average or below average? Because incels are hypocrites who don't want to date ugly women but they are mad when hot women don't want to date them? This is /mensrights that should never be associated with hate subs and hate ideologies because it's harmful to our cause. I believe in men's rights but refuse to be associated with woman-haters.

2020-02-18T01:04:03+00:00

It's not a question of whether such men exist. There are failures in love, there are failures in love with a bad attitude, some of the bad attitude comes from the failure, some of the failure comes from the bad attitude. Some fat girls are philosophical about being unloved, some fat girls are bitter and twisted. The question is whether when such things are discussed, they're discussed in a way that's representative, proportionate, and without emotional overloading.

The victim group of "failures in love" isn't one that men are lining up to join. The traditional male ego means that they'll carry a lot of shame about it, the likely outcome being a withdrawal into solitary drinking and pornography. Verbalizing the pain and seeking communities of fellow sufferers is unusual and not classically masculine. Blaming the superficiality of women isn't classically masculine either.

Feminists don't find attractive the men that feminism has created, and feminists have created narratives about women being wiser and more moral in their choice of sexual/romantic partners. It doesn't suit them to admit that they reject men for their looks or their lack of status or wealth. It does suit them to believe that unattractive men are misogynists, and to highlight cases that confirm that belief.

In this community, this subreddit in particular, there's always been a "we're not like them" group of men. One of the reasons is that a lot of men in the forum grew getting little doses of approval from girls and women for being "different from other boys" - nicer, more in touch with their feminine side, more empathetic, whatever. Up to a couple of years ago the scapegoat group was PUA's or r/theredpill. The forum self-polices - "get that PUA shit out of here", and one-post visitors can ask what the subreddit thinks of this year's scapegoat group and have a hundred commenters jump in to distance themselves from any association. For the past 1-2 years the self-policing and disavowals have taken the form of "get that incel shit out of here".

_Randy_C · 2020-02-18T00:16:32+00:00

Many incels seem to think that they are “owed” female attention. Also, in the incel community I have noticed many misogynist posts that are far from the stereotypical joking memes.

To women they come across as “creepy” which means, potentially dangerous in her eyes.

To men they come across as pathetic due to the same behaviors.

While I understand the plight and have felt hurt when feelings weren’t reciprocal in the past, a person has to understand that it’s more than likely who you are and that you need to improve yourself (not change yourself) and be confident in your life and interests.

My too sense.

ifelsedowhile · 2020-02-18T04:57:36+00:00

they need a scapegoat and a boogeyman. they can't do it with Muslims because they need their political alliance. Incels are an easy scapegoat because they can paint them as being all white but if you read their boards you can see they are disproportionately minorities, expecially Indians and Asians.

2020-02-18T00:26:23+00:00

It's a status thing.

High status men re-affirm their status by maximizing the perceived gap between themselves and incels. High status women re-affirm their status by making sure everyone knows that these incels aren't even remotely good enough to consider as a partner.

Ergo, Incels are a convenient whipping boy for both groups to collectively assert their status. If they were forced to deal with one in their family, on the other hand, they'd probably show some compassion and empathy, but as a faceless, nameless class? You're guaranteed to see hate because that hate has a positive social benefit for them.

Ketsuni · 2020-02-18T01:27:50+00:00

I think there's a few reasons the incels aren't sympathized with.

1) Many blame women for their misfortune. Not only that, there's many that believe they are owed another person's body or companionship, which I think many people here can acknowledge as ludicrous. Sad or not, you are not *owed* a person.

2) They paint people in broad strokes. The whore vs nun; chads and stacys, etc. Many of us fall into one of these groups and either a) don't appreciate being insulted for simply not being an incel or b) have trouble communicating with a group that has a lot of presumptions about your intentions.

3) They don't take action for themselves and often keep eachother down. It's a circular spiral of self-hatred; it's not healthy and can make communicating within many of the groups difficult.

BornFreeWE · 2020-02-18T07:00:52+00:00

Point 2. "White knighting"

Very abstract that is a competitive strategy. To compete you have two basic options:

a) improve yourself/be better b) push others down

The white knights do not really help they just push other men down. And because they push men down that are perceived as the "enemy" that is perceived as 'help'.

Lion_amongst_gods · 2020-02-18T12:24:11+00:00

Why do people hate incels so much?

Because currently the term refers mainly to men. The moment it becomes gender-neutral or includes trans or whatever minority is fashionable, you'll see a flood of empathy that'll make Noah quit his arc-building endeavour.

bigchilesucks · 2020-02-19T19:08:21+00:00

The only people who don't hate Nazis are Nazis.

nugymmer · 2020-02-19T23:35:30+00:00

I'm a voluntary celibate, so not an incel, even though I've been labelled as one.

NakedValhallaBoyyy · 2020-02-19T23:54:26+00:00

They don't. My friend is an incel but when women meet him and know that he is an incel they are more confused than anything. The point is that if someone is an incel its generally for a reason, like they have such a horrid personality that they absolutely can't get laid at all. And thus we begin to associate one with the other. But that doesn't mean all incels are celibate for that reason. Some, like a friend of mine, are extremely handsome and fit, but crippled by anxiety. Others are simply unwilling to settle but don't have the looks / money / personality to attain a woman they consider worth pursuing.

Being unable to get laid is like being unable to beat someone up. It doesn't actually matter to most people, but when they need an insult it works.

MyTrueIdiotSelf990 · 2020-02-18T02:40:36+00:00

Probably because of the ones that act like vile assholes.

elebrin · 2020-02-18T00:57:48+00:00

Women hate them because as a group they have decided not to cater to women, and women do NOT like men who have decided to write off relationships with women, because that's one man that is outside their influence.

IHAVETHEHIGHGROUND_3 · 2020-02-18T03:25:54+00:00

Gotta have a bad guy to hunt

Lethn · 2020-02-18T07:51:53+00:00

Because incel is just a buzzword people use to describe people they hate like Nazis, it's lost all meaning and they've been trained by the media to respond to it. I suspect there are plenty of people out there now who just use incel as a generic insult and have no idea what it means.

See for example terms like, far right, alt-right and so on, hell even words like misogynist now have completely lost their meaning. If you actually isolate these people as I have done and gotten them to define what they view as 'misogyny' they're just completely making shit up and they're using it to simply describe people they disagree with. People here as well may have noticed actually the media isn't using far right and alt-right as much as they used to and do in fact seem to be using incel more as the generic "this person is bad" label, they're going to eventually come up with a new one when this all wears off and people don't care anymore.

RevolverHotTubRevive · 2020-02-18T09:05:58+00:00

Because people like ganging up on weaker people. They just hide behind being 'against hate groups' these days while probably being the biggest hate group themselves.

EvilLothar · 2020-02-18T14:11:41+00:00

But you SHOULD be saying incels must improve themselves.

That's part of the problem. These guys never had dad sit them down and tell them how the world really works. They were raised by their moms and white knight dads who fed them lies all their lives to "just be yourself", instead of "no woman will be attracted to a fat, jobless slob".

sootlord · 2020-02-18T14:34:55+00:00

We all start as incels, it starts from when we hit puberty and the media we consume. A youtuber I was watching accurately put it as "boys when they hit puberty are immediately sexually in debt. For some it can take until their mid twenties before their first sexual encounter. And getting consitent sex wont be until a man has some status and rescources." And its getting worst for the new generation. Boys have zero guidance and are relying on romcom media for a teacher.

Society puts this abnormal pressure on men to conform and at the same time shames male sexuality. As boys we are in this constant state of sexual frustration, drsperately trying to figure out the formula to get sex/companionship. Its like society is growing faster than our biology and most men are struggling to adapt.

People hate on incels because they are an easy target. Classic insult: "oh you cant girls well that must means you suck as man." This female world is just getting harder/crueler for men. And no one gives AF.

IronJohnMRA · 2020-02-18T15:11:21+00:00

Because they won't shut up. For a very long time the incels suffered in silence, and the haters liked it that way. No one wants to hear about male suffering.

lampropeltiss · 2020-02-18T01:54:09+00:00

Why are you defending incels? They hurt men’s image because incels are toxic trash.

2020-02-18T00:34:53+00:00

It us a shaming tactic.

Have you been an astronaut? Then you are all astrocels.

JesterArchetype · 2020-02-18T05:31:26+00:00

If you’re a woman, and you want to really hurt some one you disagree with, what do you do? You think up of something that would hurt you really deep. Well, how about “no one wants to fuck you”? Yeah thats gotta hurt, right? So you project your worst fear on to the next victim/recipient by calling him INCEL.

throwaway59232 · 2020-02-18T06:05:25+00:00

I'm a bit late to the conversation, but I feel a lot has to be said about Point #2. I think more people actually defend or sympathize with incels than it seems, but few people, especially other men will ever admit it publicly. Why? Because they are afraid that if they do this, the person/people they are speaking to will think they are an incel themselves, or even if they have a GF/wife now that they once considered themselves an incel. So in this sense, I'd say incels are one of the closest things we have in our society to lepers or Roman slaves. If you were once a slave but bought your own freedom, you would go to great lengths to hide this fact because there was still a stigma that even though you were freed now, you were once a slave. Similarly, in remote parts of India, if you have any noticeable disfigurement from leprosy, you still have to live in the colony even after completing treatment because you were once a leper. So many men are afraid of being labeled or perceived as former incels, whether that be the case or not, and so take active steps to distance themselves from that community as much as possible.

nanan00 · 2020-02-18T05:36:31+00:00

Incels are the male version of the Tumblr feminist, both piss everyone else off.

chintan22 · 2020-02-18T12:13:28+00:00

See, lack of empathy and attention often breaks down people because humans are inherently social.

Some of the mass shooters are self proclaimed incels. They also paint in very broad strokes like the feminists (all are bad). They are also not very influential and powerful, giving everyone an easy target.

Now you take a broken man, who is isolated and hates all women to the teeth. Would you like him? Probably not.

Also not all those who fail in love become like that. Some of the more understanding ones simply fall into a lonely depression that nobody helps them out of. Look at r/foreveralone. It's just sad, but also what most people would club along with the incels.

Hungry-Nebula · 2020-02-18T12:44:02+00:00

I think the killings have something to do with it.

Title	Why do people hate incels so much?
Author	findaway84
Upvotes	28
Comments	66
Date	February 18, 2020 12:00 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/f5icyw/why_do_people_hate_incels_so_much/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/why-do-people-hate-incels-so-much.858707 https://theredarchive.com/post/858707

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