Your personal experience on how divorce affects men?

StripedFalafel · 2020-11-02T09:28:41+00:00

You have my genuine sympathy. I wish you well.

Understand I'm not trying to compete but I went through hell with my divorce. (Thankfully that's all in the past.) But I have some expertise. You are completely correct about men suffering most. I have some thoughts on why:

Divorces are mostly initiated by the woman & only after she has a plan. (Mostly)
It's well known that women will help other women. Not so for men - even men are more likely to help a damsel in distress than another man soldiering on. And that applies to friends, bureaucrats, counsellors, lawyers & almost everyone else.
Here in Australia, there are innumerable women's groups & charities to help women. Pretty much none for men.
Even the services that don't appear to be only for one gender are biassed. Counselling, legal aid, social security & everything else that I would have wanted were denied by subtle rules that ended up being tilted against men. Here in Australia a key one is the way typically female income sources aren't counted as taxable income which in turn affects eleigibility for benefits & services.
And then there's the family law system...

Be strong.

CochinoChingon · 2020-11-02T09:32:02+00:00

I ended up homeless as well, though it wasn’t immediately after the divorce. She was supposed to pay off my truck as she got the house. About 3 months after it was finalized I found out the hard way she hadn’t paid in 7 months. (Just the first 4 she was supposed to)

Took me 7 weeks to get back on my feet. Still had my debit card so I was able to deposit the money I made panhandling/begging everyday.

The worst thing was having to shit outside cuz I smelled so bad no one would let me in anywhere.

2020-11-02T18:30:51+00:00

Got slapped with the debt taken on during marriage. Have to pay spousal support. Had to move in with my parents because I have no money and debt now, and nobody will lease a place to me with a credit score in the toilet.

Now of course I will probably never attract another woman again, a poor guy living with his parents.

My ex? She pretty much walked scott-free out of the divorce.

And she makes it as difficult and painful as possible to see my kids.

What pisses me off by far the most, though, is that she has always been a self-described "feminist," who believes women should be strong and independent. She is the man-hating type of feminist who thinks men are inferior, etc. Yet, despite women being "strong and independent" she won the divorce case by arguing that she is so helpless and she was abused and needs my support.

Modern american feminism is such bullshit.

hendrixski · 2020-11-02T13:43:18+00:00

I'm very blessed that my divorce only cost me $200,000 and I didn't go homeless... Nor into drugs/alcohol/etc. I have primary custody of my son after a tense legal dispute that ended when my abusive ex wife just gave up and moved out of the state. I haven't recovered mentally and part of my healing is that I help other men who are going through divorce with custody advice.

I hope all the best for you and I pray every day for the system to be reformed.

BirdMington · 2020-11-02T15:40:30+00:00

I was lucky because my house is my separate property and it never becomes a community property in Hungary, not even after 60 years of marriage. So when I finally got rid of my abusive ex she couldn't touch my house. She tried to convince me earlier in our relationship to sign 1/2 of my house to her name "to feel at home" but I always refused.

Get your own, bitch.

caem123 · 2020-11-02T12:54:38+00:00

Men have to downshift their lifestyle tremendously. I see my male friends go from large modern homes to tiny, shoddy living spaces.

2020-11-02T20:33:11+00:00

Thankfully mine had a happy ending.... She tried everything, the thing that most sticks in my mind was when I was trying to get away from her, I got in my car to drive away and she jumped in front screaming "I don't care anymore just run me over". I had my foot on the brake so I didn't hit her but she layed on my car like I did. Anyway I started gathering audio/video evidence and after about 6 months on the defensive, the case turned, she got arrested, got an order of protection against her..... Its been a few years now but I'm frankly scared not to have my video cameras up.... Nobody believed me until I started showing video evidence. She did about 20k to my house the lawyers cost about 40k... But it's paid off now and I've moved on... I recently found out she is getting divorced for the third time so I kinda feel vindicated with all the people who originally said it was me, when I said it wasn't.

mgtowthroww · 2020-11-03T00:19:26+00:00

My ex-wife walked into a police station and told them I raped her. She hasn't let me see my kids in nearly a year. I've spent $140k in legal fees and am looking to become homeless if I keep going at this rate...all because of one false allegation

Stinky_Stephen · 2020-11-03T15:10:54+00:00

Dude, I see men who seem to be trapped in bad marriages.

Title	Your personal experience on how divorce affects men?
Author	Odd_Dust4
Upvotes	24
Comments	15
Date	November 2, 2020 3:13 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/jmfz8n/your_personal_experience_on_how_divorce_affects/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/your-personal-experience-on-how-divorce-affects.1193954 https://theredarchive.com/post/1193954

Comments