Note: Recently read about "1800s is the origin of modern traditional gender roles and relationships."

I keep hearing, in fiction, (especially romance ones I accidentally stumble into 🤢) on social media, and even from grandfather somewhat, that "women want wealthy men" or "women only want extremely built, tall men" (and, mind you, I've heard "all men want slim blondes" but that is not the topic right now)

As a heterosexual woman myself, I will say that it appears to actually be, in reality, the heterosexual man is having a hard time with relationships for various reasons -- actual/perceived issues he has, actual/perceived issues she has, or poor luck -- and becomes frustrated.

This heterosexual man wonders if the problem is of status. (after using "Blue pill" and failing) Or he wonders if the problem is of bonding levels(?). (after using "Red pill" and failing)

If he is the former, (the focus of this post) he may go to the extreme of, "all women want wealthy/extremely built and tall men!" and either blame himself for his inadequacy or women for our perceived standards.

Now, what do "most" heterosexual women actually want? I believe it depends on the woman. ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀1. A man who is not on the street, unkempt, eating out of the dumpster, and abusing drugs and or alcohol. A man who is not obese. The bare (materialist!) minimum, in my view.

⠀⠀⠀2. A man who is becoming stable. This means he has a vehicle, has graduated high school, is either saving for or already in college, and works a part- or full-time job.
He also should have some level of fitness, exercise somehow, and bathe.

⠀⠀⠀3. A man who is stable. This can be Classic Stable -- a house, a vehicle, graduation from college, and full-time career -- or what I will call Accessible Stable -- an apartment, a vehicle, graduation from high school, and full-time job. He also should be built, clean, plus tidy; suit optional. This is the average (traditional materialist?) standard, in my view.

⠀⠀⠀4. A man who is actually wealthy. Wether this wealth is mainly inherited or through work probably matters, and this classically requires that he have a mansion, probably a vacation home, a private jet and or sports car, and enough money to sustain that annually. He also should dress nicely and probably bathe. This is the "gold-digger" standard. ⠀ ⠀

For the first standard, any relationship that fails to meet the bare minimum, materially, is a poor-quality idea. There will be issues with illness, (mainly of the contagious variety!) finances, and perhaps even police. Arguing over finances in the beginning of a marriage is bad enough; imagine raising children with that! There is also an unhealthy power imbalance -- one of multiple major reasons why I am against trophy-seeking/gold-digging, for example -- that can rend the relationship.

For the second standard, this probably requires the two to grow stable together, increasing bonding time in younger years. It also reduces the risk of "pure materialism" without removing the visibility of effort. Effort is always important.

For the third standard, this requires the man to work hard and for the woman to...focus on being...'pure' and conventionally beautiful, I suppose. There is always the risk that the woman is not being difficult to impress as a tactic, but because she is genuinely uninterested for whatever reason. Of course, this can cause frustration and even mayhem on both sides. This requires a high level of mutual patience, as well as the woman's trust -- since it leads to a power imbalance.

For the fourth standard, this...is a terrible idea. What happens is the man values reputation and acceptance among his fellows among all else, and the woman values material goods above all else. They will have children, no doubt, who embrace an egoist and materialist mindset, and they will go on to adulthood when they will plague the world. ⠀ ⠀

Now, since we are discussing women, women have feelings. (Yes, men do as well, but this is about "men forming and maintaining relationships with women") We women want men to actually care about our well-being, respect our views, communicate properly, and be worthy of our time plus trust. This is very important.

If there is anything less than mutual compassion, respect, proper communication, and trust, macro and micro-aggressions will build up until they destroy the relationship, and, if the relationship is a marriage with kids, be all the more hideous.

What do you think?