Before making a decision, do you consider whether "the guys" will give you a hard time about it?

blackedoutfast · 2018-07-20T19:32:00+00:00

no that would be pointless. guys give each other shit just for the sake of giving each other shit.

if one guy decides to do X instead of Y, his bros may make fun of him for doing X.

but if he had instead chosen to do Y, they simply would have made fun of him for doing Y.

no one really cares whether the guy does X or Y, it's just an excuse to bust his balls.

the important part is giving the guy shit and seeing how he reacts. if he rolls with it and basically treats it like RP tells guys to react to shit-tests (A&A, etc) then he will be more respected. but if he gets butthurt and offended, he will look weak and will lose respect.

That means status, while a real-world system with its own rewards and consequences to men, would have so miniscule an effect on women they wouldn't even recognize it if they saw it.

can you clarify this? i can't understand what you are saying here.

crackrocksteady7 · 2018-07-20T19:24:27+00:00

I just try not to look really really gay

LewisCross · 2018-07-20T19:32:04+00:00

I consider the impact a major decision about my public and/or professional life will have on my relationships with close male friends and coworkers.

With minor decisions I don't care what any "guys" think about them. And the only "guys" I care about with respect to anything are close male friends, and peers and coworkers. I'm the one who has to live with the decision. They don't.

The reason I'm asking is it could be the cause of a "loss in translation" between men and women. Women do compete with one another though in a much strict, brutal, hierarchical way. That hat means status, while a real-world system with its own rewards and consequences to men, would have so miniscule an effect on women they wouldn't even recognize it if they saw it.

Do you think this is so?

If so, what do you think has been the result of this disconnect in communication?

Are you saying here that women very much care about whether "their girls" will give them a hard time about a decision; while men don't; and this causes communication disconnects? I think you answered your own question. It is because women compete within the FSM for status.

Men compete more directly and status is earned. I also have to think about my professional career and continuing to work and earn money. I don't care what my friends think about that, or how I go about doing that. But I didn't ask my friends' permission or blessing before changing jobs, or getting married, or having a kid, or buying a house. I don't care what they think about those things either - like I said, I'm the one who has to live with those things in the near and long terms, so what my friends and even coworkers think about those things with respect to me means next to nothing to me.

IncomeByEtnicity · 2018-07-20T20:12:07+00:00

In my teens there was a simulation I ran in my head repeatedly, with the a consistent outcome occurring every time.

It's an Island. A Hot Girl, an Ugly Girl and a male character representing me are the only 3 people on there. No matter how detailed I played it out nor which sequence the three people met each other, my character ends up spending his time divided into 3 equal parts:

1/3rd of the time I'm with the hot girl with satisfying sex and companionship.

1/3rd of the time I'm with the ugly girl with equally satisfying sex and companionship.

1/3rd of the time I go the other corner of the island by myself.

Now that the simulation reached a stable equilibrium, you shake it up. Another guy washes ashore, and immediately my character responds by grabbing the hot girl arm with a lot of guilt for abandoning the ugly girl. This troubled me deeply.

These and a few other things, lead to a chronic isolation phase in my 20s. I knew if I had to choose the partner that is right for me, I have to first eliminate the biases of social standing and commercialism. I'm happily married now and I wouldn't have gotten here if I didn't go through that Mental purge in my mid twenties.

Just a Data point, I hope you will find useful.

wub1234 · 2018-07-20T20:40:54+00:00

Before making a decision, do you consider whether "the guys" will give you a hard time about it?

Every guy considers this to some extent. Of course, many people are going to sit here and say that they do not, but realistically it will come into your thinking to a certain extent.

It doesn't really impact on my life, as while I like some men, these are quite small in number. If you're talking about the average guy in the street, it honestly wouldn't bother me if I never spoke to another man ever again.

Pope_Lucious · 2018-07-20T22:31:59+00:00

No. Guys bust each other’s balls and find it hilarious when their friends struggle. I don’t think guys have a strict social hierarchy like women do. Or if they do, it can easily be supplanted by something as simple as someone more funny than anyone in the group entering the group.

sadomasochrist · 2018-07-20T23:13:59+00:00

If other men would chastise your decision, you're probably doing something wrong.

[deleted] · 2018-07-21T19:18:59+00:00

My male friends are mostly weak-willed Hillary-voters. They are not capable of giving me a hard time.

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hammerhaunts · 2018-07-20T18:49:34+00:00

I do not interact with "the guys", so it is more an imaginary audience I cower in front of

MercedesBenzoAMG · 2018-07-20T21:02:22+00:00

Not in any serious capacity. There's moments where I think my mates are definitely gonna take the piss if I do XYZ but it doesn't actually influence my decision making. Banter is part of how we socialise anyway.

Ascimator · 2018-07-21T00:12:16+00:00

I don't face that sort of dilemma much.

MisterJose · 2018-07-21T04:49:41+00:00

I was always able to brush off a negative guy's opinion easier than a negative woman's opinion. The approval of women meant so much more. When I was a teen I couldn't stand that any woman would dislike me, so I tried to always be agreeable at all times. With guys I didn't have as an intense need for approval or acceptance, so it was OK to have a conflict with some guy, 'whatever, he's a dick.'

passepar2t · 2018-07-21T18:30:38+00:00

I'm in my 30s so there is no "the guys" anymore. Perceived judgment from "the guys" is a younger man's problem. Most well adjusted men on a typical life trajectory grow out of needing "the guys'" approval. Later in life, "the guys" are replaced by "the family" and "the coworkers" and "the homeowners' association."

Gravel_Roads · 2018-07-22T10:45:53+00:00

No. I don't give a shit what "the guys" think of me, I don't hang out with judgmental losers who aren't supportive of my life choices. The first thing I'd do if someone gave me a hard time about doing something I want to do with my life would be to stop telling them about my life at all.

Women do compete with one another though in a much strict, brutal, hierarchical way. That means status, while a real-world system with its own rewards and consequences to men, would have so miniscule an effect on women they wouldn't even recognize it if they saw it.

That's also not how most women interact. Women aren't like... cold blooded reptile-people sitting around in knitting groups quietly sharpening their Wolverine claws. Most chicks are normal people who make normal friends who talk to each other and compare experiences because they find each other's lives and approaches interesting.

There is no difference between how men and women form friendships. Some are deep, forged over time and earned trust and shared memories. Some are simple and shallow and low-impact. Some are competitive and result in mutual improvement, some are competitive and result in bitterness and sabotage. Both genders are capable of both good and bad friendships.

GayLubeOil · 2018-07-20T19:28:29+00:00

That's the textbook definition of Beta Male. If your concerned about the thoughts of others and not offending them (slave morality) you can never reach the peaks. Respecting the will of the masses aka the will of the lowest common denominator is the opposite of being exceptional.

I'd be curious to find out which Red Pillers are thus afflicted that way we can get them on the Ban Van as quickly as possible.

Before making a decision, do you consider whether "the guys" will give you a hard time about it?

Comments

IN MY TEENS THERE WAS A SIMULATION I RAN IN MY HEAD REPEATEDLY, WITH THE A CONSISTENT OUTCOME OCCURRING EVERY TIME.

IT'S AN ISLAND. A HOT GIRL, AN UGLY GIRL AND A MALE CHARACTER REPRESENTING ME ARE THE ONLY 3 PEOPLE ON THERE. NO MATTER HOW DETAILED I PLAYED IT OUT NOR WHICH SEQUENCE THE THREE PEOPLE MET EACH OTHER, MY CHARACTER ENDS UP SPENDING HIS TIME DIVIDED INTO 3 EQUAL PARTS:

1/3RD OF THE TIME I'M WITH THE HOT GIRL WITH SATISFYING SEX AND COMPANIONSHIP.

1/3RD OF THE TIME I'M WITH THE UGLY GIRL WITH EQUALLY SATISFYING SEX AND COMPANIONSHIP.

1/3RD OF THE TIME I GO THE OTHER CORNER OF THE ISLAND BY MYSELF.

NOW THAT THE SIMULATION REACHED A STABLE EQUILIBRIUM, YOU SHAKE IT UP. ANOTHER GUY WASHES ASHORE, AND IMMEDIATELY MY CHARACTER RESPONDS BY GRABBING THE HOT GIRL ARM WITH A LOT OF GUILT FOR ABANDONING THE UGLY GIRL. THIS TROUBLED ME DEEPLY.

JUST A DATA POINT, I HOPE YOU WILL FIND USEFUL.

Title	Before making a decision, do you consider whether "the guys" will give you a hard time about it?
Author	Eartherry
Upvotes	5
Comments	54
Date	July 20, 2018 6:46 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/90imly/before_making_a_decision_do_you_consider_whether/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/before-making-a-decision-do-you-consider-whether.261448 https://theredarchive.com/post/261448