Feelings develop over TIME during ABSENCE?

goatismycopilot · 2020-01-09T16:19:53+00:00

For me no. Extended times apart make me disconnect what I mean by extended is somebody who travels or is away frequently

Maybelowsmv · 2020-01-09T16:23:26+00:00

Doesnt this depend on the circumstance and people?

Texastentialism · 2020-01-09T16:36:07+00:00

To an extent. I definitely start to feel annoyed and smothered if I spend too much time with someone, which can kill attraction. And I think having space to miss someone can keep things exciting. My husband and I occasionally spend a week or so apart from each other; his work requires some travel, and I travel pretty regularly to visit family. We're always really lovey-dovey for the first few days when we reunite after those absences.

But I think frequent, extended absences would just make me feel like I wasn't in a relationship at all.

Dora_Bowl · 2020-01-09T15:52:03+00:00

No, I would rather spend as much time as I can with my partner.

87AudreyHorne · 2020-01-09T15:53:11+00:00

No. Well.. yes when you dont really like someone that much when you get to know them. If they make a magical first impression and then you have a safe distance you can project anything into them. When you get to know them better you're turned off.

It can even happen with people who know each other and get along well but when put too close it turns out they just don't like each other.

So yeah it can seem that way with people but it's not real emotions. And people who do genuinely like/love each other grow closer with time spent together (I'd argue time apart can put a distance on that genuine connection at the start but people who are solid and go way back will withstand time apart and be as close as before that.)

2020-01-09T16:06:22+00:00

In an LTR yes, abscence makes the heart grow fonder. I personally find that a bit of scarcity always injects passion into my relationship. Time length for maximum effect - 5-7 days, but I'm probably colder than most women on this.

However, I don't think this is very true in STRs. Maybe it's just my ADD, but if a guy just isnt directly in my face all the time I may obsess over him for like a day or two before forgetting he exists entirely.

WIA20XX · 2020-01-09T19:38:00+00:00

Be late half an hour, some feelings will develop during the absence

MusicalMarceline · 2020-01-09T16:19:05+00:00

They grow stronger in the times i spend with him. Making memories is the key.

They grow fonder at the time he's away. I miss him more.

If you never see your boyfriend at all, you really dont have one imo.

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Darkseeker_Mau · 2020-01-09T17:12:28+00:00

If they really love each other, then everything reinforces the relationship, being together, being apart, it doesn't matter, the bond grows just because they are already in love.

Orange_Paisley · 2020-01-09T17:24:27+00:00

“How can I miss you if you won’t go away?” On the other hand, “familiarity breeds contempt.” Ideally you should have the right combination of enjoying your time together as a couple but also having a few activities separate from each other, even if it is just him in his basement workroom and her outside gardening. If you’re spending all your time apart though, you will start feeling alienated from each other. It’s a delicate balance.

Mulkvistee · 2020-01-09T21:48:24+00:00

Not exclusively, no. In the beginning few months we were basically never apart in our free time. Time apart definitely is good too though because it can remind you of qualities you appreciate in an SO. I don't need my husband to get through my day logistically, but there are so many times when I've seen something wonderful, gross, or hilarious enough that not having his pov or commentary felt like an actual loss that diminished the experience. It's definitely made me aware enough to tell him often when I'm glad we did or saw (whatever) together because it's not possible all the time.

brokegradstudent_93 · 2020-01-10T12:04:50+00:00

My partner and I spend a ton of time together and it hasn’t gotten old so far. I feel like we fall in love a little more everyday. I don’t enjoy the absence. If it’s for longer than a few days I just don’t like it, I can put up with it for work if he has a business trip. I would rather see him everyday though.

Title	Feelings develop over TIME during ABSENCE?
Author	mcl116
Upvotes	3
Comments	14
Date	January 9, 2020 3:48 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/embezu/feelings_develop_over_time_during_absence/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/feelings-develop-over-time-during-absence.305776 https://theredarchive.com/post/305776

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