The technologies of online dating have increased the dating pool dramatically.

We’ve birth control, safer sex practices, modern medicines, and sexual liberation that lets us slut it up in that large dating pool.

Individualism has made it that people think primarily of themselves, only secondarily of their lovers. This has tended towards a breaking of many modes of romantic involvement that were based on mutual relationships. The most obvious and somewhat boring one being financial independence, each individual is supposed to be financially independent from everyone else. Even if this is something of a lie, that is how we think of a relationship. Compared to pre-modern times where one’s material well being was understood as being dependent upon extended family working the farm.

A less obvious and somewhat less boring example are notions of love as being built on the self by the self and for the self, rather than being built with someone else towards some shared dream or mutual aim. Real or imagined.

Post modernism has taken that individualism and broke it apart, such that individuals are now something like caricatures of people. The various pills for an on the nose example. Kinks, fetishes, and the alphabet of sexualities, not even just the lgbtqaih+ (‘h’ for hetero), but like the xeno ‘sexualities’. When you deconstruct the individuals along the grounds of sexuality, you’d expect to end up with something akin to that. People who are defining their sex and sexuality upon such things as what gets them off, what they like or dislike, what fetish they may have, etc… A person isn’t a lady who likes sex, they are a lady who likes ladies, or lady who like men, or a lady who like men and women, and so on, and so on.

Taken together, these social realities entail people bumping around in the dating pool and matching up based on peculiar atomized and deconstructed sexualized fetishes.

There is no deeper psychological elements at play, no particular monied motives involved, no real power plays happening, no real desperate aims of manipulations. No one is that important.

There is just individuals deconstructed to their kinks, peculiar tastes, and beliefs (pills) who match up with equally peculiar tastes and kinks in a non-holistic manner based on if the dynamic of those peculiar aspects happen to match.

They could be people who despise each other, I mean to say, yet because those peculiar aspects match up, meaning that they form a dynamic that keeps the relationship going, good enough!

Not ‘person to person’ love.

But rather, ‘equal financial partners’ for the money interested kinksters. Or hey, at least well matched monied interests for those lovers of the coin.

Tops in leather with the bottoms who like to shine their boots with their tongues. Perfect match!

Baby girls with daddy issues finally getting that older mature man in their life, and that older man finally getting their young woman to take care of.

The sadist who at last meets their masochist lover, and the masochist lover who finally found the one to hold that whip they’ve got in their back pocket. And so on.

Such constitutes a fair amount of the discussions around relationships, sexuality, gender relations, and so forth.

People would do better not trying to aim for their supposed perfect match, but instead seeing each other as whole ass people.

That sound bout right?