Ditching the "Honey Do" List

helaughsinhidden · 2018-07-22T16:02:24+00:00

I think men allow it out of our flesh nature to be lazy because we see it as the "bare minimum to do list". We should be owning our work and I should be harder on ourselves than them. Also, the honey do list is linked to the covert contract too, the imaginary sex point system.

CoachDad9 · 2018-07-22T22:31:29+00:00

A lot of guys complain on here about their wives not cleaning, cooking, taking care of kids or other basic wifely duties, but the answer to that is tell her you expect her to have those things done and call her out when she isnt doing them. The ideal situation of course is for her to proactively do those things so you dont have to tell her. As a man and husband I try to do everything that needs to be done ahead of time so that my wife doesnt have to give me a ridiculous list. The list is emasculating and unattractive. Just like my employees get fired if I have to constantly tell them what to do. Be on point, get stuff done. If she wants you to do ridiculous unnecessary activities, tell her no. You should know the difference.

Deep_Strength · 2018-07-22T22:58:18+00:00

Ideally, what is expected needs to be hashed out prior to marriage and agreed on. This also goes into a search for a wife.

If you like to cook then be the one who cooks. Find a wife who can be your helpmeet in the household in other areas. If you don't want to cook, then look for a wife who cooks. It's not hard to do, but lots of people ignore it.

Generally, something that tends to work well is the wife does the feminine chores and the husband does masculine chores. If there's too much sometimes you can ask the other for help.

Of course, it's up to you as the leader to set the expectations of how things are going to get done in the household rather than just leave it to whoever is there and willing cause that doesn't work. At the end of the day, no one really likes to do chores (well, unless you are married to someone with OCD who loves that stuff).

BornRedy · 2018-07-23T12:56:33+00:00

Lol, I talked to my wife about this article. She said I have a “honey do” list for you.

Pick up honey the next time you go to the store
Do me later

Guys, being a masculine attractive leader works to get the sex you want, as well as training you wife to desire sex more.

rocknrollchuck · 2018-07-23T17:38:01+00:00

And let her know that you will not be accepting any more "assignments" from her. If she wants to make requests, that is all well and good. But she does not have the authority to control either your actions or your schedule.

For many men who have come here, they don't have the frame to pull this off. So they need to go slow, developing frame and establishing boundaries that they can defend.

Your counterpoint is also well made:

I don't take this too far, of course. I am OK with receiving kind requests, and sometimes my wife needs to ask for help with something.

Some men take this to the extreme, and end up going Rambo in the process. We need to always remember love and kindness, while establishing a proper balance in the marriage.

OsmiumZulu · 2018-07-24T19:58:04+00:00

If you have enough free time doing unproductive stuff that your wife feels like she can give you chores to do, you're doing it wrong.

Title	Ditching the "Honey Do" List
Author	PriestOfKitezh
Upvotes	9
Comments	11
Date	July 22, 2018 12:23 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RPChristians
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RPChristians/comments/90xebh/ditching_the_honey_do_list/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RPChristians/ditching-the-honey-do-list.301839 https://theredarchive.com/post/301839

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