29/6'5/265 - pray frequently, devotional daily, church weekly, lift 3x/week, bible study needs work, homeowner, business owner.

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First, as always, I'll preface this field report by apologizing for deleting my previous posts and comments. I often point friends, family, and fellow church members to this subreddit; ergo, to avoid doxxing in a smaller community like RPC, I routinely delete my history.

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Some of you may recall my posts about a former oneitis I was pining after. After taking some of the advice I received here to heart, I backed off completely (she, of course, reaches out to me now) and started to focus on Christ, my mission, and abundance. I started praying more, seeking more opportunities to witness, and actively sought and gamed other Christian women. Primarily, I've been using OLD apps/sites to find these women and have gone on a few first dates over the last month or so. Although some them have been fun, God-fearing women, we just didn't click. Still, I love OLD - I have an extremely busy schedule and it allows to me easily filter and seek only those women who I think would be the most qualified (i.e. FAT & attractive).

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I'm also a big fan, and have had success with, sliding into DMs on Instagram. Although things didn't work out with my former oneitis, that's how I met her and it's how I planted the seed with the girl I will be talking about in this FR; let's call the latter, Samantha.

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Samantha and I have mutual friends, so we both knew of each other, but had never spoken before. She's active at her church, volunteers in the community, and owns her own business. Oh, and she's quite attractive. Knowing that the chances of me running into her (without actively trying) are slim, I decide to follow her on Instagram. She ends up following me back, throws a few "likes" on some of my photos, and actually responds to something I posted to my story. At this point, I know I can safely slide into her DMs. Technically, she slid into my DMs since that's where her response to my story goes, but that's neither here nor there.

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When it comes to OLD or sliding into DMs, I keep it short, sweet, and to the point. In seven messages or less I want to either get her number, suggest and have her agree to meeting up, or give her my number and tell her to text me. Some of you may scoff at that last one; however, I often use that tactic to gauge a girl's interest. If I give a girl my number and she actually texts me, I know she's at least somewhat interested. Compliance sets and 'yes' sets have more applications besides just in sales.

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I digress.

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After some back and forth with Samantha, I tell her we should grab a drink - her response: "I'd love that :)". She gave me her number and I told her I would text her with a day and time sometime that week. Here's an important concept to pause and reflect on that most of us here should know already. Tell a girl what you're going to do and do that thing. I don't ask girls what they want to do or when they're available. I project that I'm a busy guy (because I am) so they should already know that my time is limited; if they can't fit themselves into my schedule, or at the very least offer another day/time they're available, then their interest in me isn't where I want it to be.

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I text Samantha a couple days later: "Drinks, The Restaurant, Thursday at 7:00." She replies "I'll be there".

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Thursday rolls around, she shoots me a confirmation text, and we meet at the restaurant. We grab a seat at the bar and instantly hit it off. She's witty, self-aware, and has no qualms about going toe-to-toe with me with sarcasm. She's also very open when discussing Christ and her faith. It was a good mix of joking around and serious conversation about where we are both at in our walks.

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At one point, we go to order an appetizer and she mentions she's allergic to tomatoes. This sparks a conversation about some other "ailments" she has - all minor of course, but without missing a beat, I say "if I make it through tonight, I'll make sure the next time we meet is near a walk-in clinic." She laughs and us joking about her ailments remains the theme for the night. "I didn't know I'd need a medical degree to grab a drink with you", "You should come with a warning label", are a couple of the things I said jokingly.

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Even though we were sitting right next to each other, our legs touching at times, I did poor job with kino. I barely touched her and in return, she didn't really touch me. She did show other IOIs however - frequently touching her hair, strong eye contact, leaning in when I spoke.

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Normally, I don't like to stay at one location long, but it was snowing, and it would have been difficult logistically to bounce around from spot to spot. So we continued with the libation and conversation at the restaurant for a couple hours until I told her I had to get home. We walk out, my hand on her lower back as I guide her through the door, and we hug each other goodbye. I'm not one to force a kiss if I'm not "feeling" it and, even though we had a good time, the moment didn't feel right. I tell her to text me when we get home and she obliges. She texts me saying she had a good time and to let her know when I'd like to hang out again. Cool.

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I let it marinate while I continue to talk to other girls and set up a second date with one I had met previously.

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Three days later I text her and ask how her weeks going. She responds saying she was going to text me because she had a question, but didn't want to bother me; she wanted advice on something that pertained to my industry and asked me a few questions. I tell her "I normally charge for my services so you'll have to buy me dinner.". "Deal :)" she says.

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"Saturday, A Different Restaurant, 7:00" I text her.

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For the sake of brevity, I'll save you the dinner play-by-play. It went well and although we had plenty of laughs, a lot of the conversation was a serious discussion about what it looks like to date as a Christian. Unfortunately, we had to sit across from each other so kino was next to impossible. After dinner we walked hand-in-hand to a bar down the street. We grab a seat at the bar and I can instantly tell things are different. It's as if out of nowhere there's this sexual tension building. Her hand is on my lap and my one leg is in between hers. I'm sure the couple of cocktails we both drank had something to do it.

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Again, it's important to note that a lot of our conversation, throughout both dates, had been about Christ and where we stood on things. I made it clear to her that, although I was not a virgin, I would not be sleeping with anyone until I was married and that I believed in "keeping it vertical". I also told her I believe it's important, as the bible says, to flee from sexual immorality. She agreed.

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That didn't stop her from getting handsy to the point where I needed to keep her from grabbing my crotch. She was all over me. I jokingly say "you're going to get me in trouble." She laughs and says "I wouldn't do that, I'm just a tease." She clearly loved the "game" of trying to get me worked up even though I felt like I was holding frame well. At one point, she even mentioned being good in bed and attempted to dangle that over my head like she was a carrot and I was the rabbit chasing her. I smiled and said "well, I'm not finding out anytime soon". Quickly, she assures me that she doesn't do "that" anymore.

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To change topics, I ask her what she said to our mutual friend about our first date. She ended up showing me all their texts which actually gave me a lot of insight into how her mind operates. First thing I noticed was how much her hamster had been spinning by the fact that I didn't text her for three days after our first date. She went back and forth with her friend about how we had such a good time but she wasn't sure if I liked her because I hadn't contacted her again yet. The next thing I noticed was when she said "he's the first guy I've gone out with that wants to talk about Jesus and it's a breath of fresh air."

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Shortly after, I tell her it's time to go. We walk to our cars and she asks to sit in mine for a bit "to sober up". Against my better judgement, but also thinking she may actually need to sober up, we both get into my car. She says "you're more assertive than I expected." Immediately, she asks "Do you take all the girls to This Town?" I reply "This week, yeah." She is surprised and asks "How many others are there?" Smirking, I say "At least three." She asks "Where do I fall on the list?" I say "Seventh."

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She gives me a fake frustrated look, leans towards me, I grab the side of her neck, and we kiss. My hand is on her thigh and she pushes it closer to, well you know. I resist and we continue to make out for a few minutes. Once we cool off for a bit I say "You're a bad influence for me." To which she replies "You can trust me, I'm only like this at first until I'm comfortable with you. I would never cross that line." Based on some of her comments after, it was clear she needed validation from me in a sexual capacity. In her mind, we didn't need to have sex, but she needed to know that I wanted to have sex with her. To be honest, I was quite taken aback by all of this. My perception of her, based on what I knew through mutual friends, was that she was a devout Christian. How she was behaving was completely contrary to that.

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I give her one more kiss goodbye and she says "Am I going to see you again soon? I really want this to work." Um... PUMP THE BREAKS GIRL I'm thinking in my head. I tell her I have a tight schedule with work, but I'll her know. She smiles and says "Works more important than me?!" I smile and playfully say "Just get out of my car and drive safely." She opens the door while saying "Ugh, you're the worst."

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This was all a couple days ago and she has been texting me since.

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