Dealing with infertility

You_Are_All_Diseased · 2019-01-29T00:02:26+00:00

There’s a bunch of subs dedicated to this kind of thing.

My wife and I tried for two full years before we ended up getting pregnant. It’s really a crapshoot.

But now we have two beautiful girls. We got pregnant shockingly fast after the first one. We weren’t quite expecting it to be so soon after the first one took so long, but I guess that’s just how it goes. It all worked out great in the end.

I know my wife went through a lot emotionally. It’s really tough and you can feel like a failure when things aren’t working.

I’d suggest reading some books and concentrating on doing the things that you can control.

Good luck!

FKAIris · 2019-01-29T00:53:19+00:00

You aren't alone. So many couple struggle to conceive. It's a topic our society doesn't really talk about. 💚 just keep focusing on this as a team. The two of you verses the problem.

whataday_95 · 2019-01-29T01:30:37+00:00

It can take a long time, and if the man feels he is the cause, it can really hurt. This is really hard on him. But depending on what the underlying medical issue is, there are many things he can do. He can muscle train, which will boost testosterone and sperm production, and has the added bonus that he'll look and feel better. Also he can lose weight and watch his diet closely, which will help with sperm DNA fragmentation. This will also make him feel better. There are other environmental factors such as BPA from plastic and thermal-printed receipts that really screw with the male reproductive system--avoid.

But the emotional part is the hardest. This is not only his problem; male fertility is down across the board and nobody knows why. In the modern age, men tend to lack a social support system, because normal male bonding is short-circuited by a variety of social factors. He probably feels that you're the only one he can talk to about this. You are a big part of his support system, so make sure you take care of yourself. Lean on your friends--that's what they're there for.

g_e_m_anscombe · 2019-01-29T06:43:09+00:00

I know you said that it’s his an issue on his side, but you may also be able to improve the odds on your side. (Doctors are often shockingly ignorant of women’s health.) I would encourage you to look into something called Natural Family Planning and the book Fertility, Cycles, and Nutrition by Marilynn Shannon. Her tips might up your odds, even if your husband’s sperm count is low. May the odds be ever in your favor! ;)

Ultimately, you may also want to consider an option like adoption to start your family. Or be patient. It’s hard, but many people find that they get pregnant after starting the adoption process (or they have a child a couple years later).

la_scozzese · 2019-01-29T03:44:05+00:00

No advice. Just wanted to let you know you’re in my thoughts. I can pray for you and your husband if you like. Let us know how things go. Hugs.

jtriangle · 2019-01-29T04:58:41+00:00

He doesn't feel guilty, he feels like a failure.

Objectively, yeah, tough talk, he is. That doesn't mean that subjectively you can't get him feeling otherwise.

Trying for a kid is stressful. The timing, the scheduling, the temperature taking, the worrying, all of it is not really what you want out of sex and that's a bummer for a guy especially if he could ever have you at his whim.

It's that feeling that I'd start with, try to keep sex more organic, more natural, at least for awhile. Then, when the medical side of things has cleared up, make another run at it.

proprioceptor · 2019-01-30T01:50:05+00:00

I am so sorry. My husband and I tried for more than a year for our second baby, and it's such an emotionally stressful experience. It's definitely hard not to view any sort of infertility as a personal failure (even though it isn't). In our case the problem was my thyroid being completely out of whack. I just kept thinking "omg this is literally the one thing my body is supposed to do, why can't it get this act together?"

No advice necessarily, just know that this is more common than everyone thinks. Hope things turn around for you guys and you get your BFP soon!

Title	Dealing with infertility
Author	la_scozzese
Upvotes	17
Comments	21
Date	January 28, 2019 10:04 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWives
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWives/comments/aksq2l/dealing_with_infertility/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWives/dealing-with-infertility.210401 https://theredarchive.com/post/210401

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