Examples of yielding

jotho817 · 2017-10-08T00:54:34+00:00

Choosing to yield to your partner instead of arguing or fighting to get your way is an important part of any relationship. To me, it's saying that "this issue isn't more important than our relationship, I'd rather let this go than cause any friction between us." I can give an example from my own relationship. A few days ago, my friend asked me for a favor that was slightly risky for me. I was happy to do it, but I told her I wanted to check with my husband to make sure. He was absolutely not pleased with the idea and told me so, flat out. Seeing how important it was to him, and knowing that my friend would understand perfectly if I said no, I agreed with him and said that I wouldn't. I yielded to his opinion, not because I necessarily agreed with it but because I respected his assessment and understood that we are a partnership and doing a favor for a friend is not more important than maintaining my husband's trust. But, when my husband saw that I was willing to prioritize our relationship, he also decided to bend a little. Not because I argued with him, or even stated my case. Simply by showing him that I was willing to listen to him, he decided to compromise with me. I think yielding is about truly listening to your partner and trying to understand where they are coming from. So often, when we listen to our SO, we don't hear because we're busy formulating our next retort. But reflectively listening and understanding makes a world of difference in a relationship.

Elysian_Angel96 · 2017-10-10T02:37:41+00:00

Yielding I feel is needed from the two people who are involved in the relationship. With my husband and I we have both yield to each other multiple times in our relationship. My most recent experience was it was my husband's half day off from work. We usually hang out for a couple hour and then go to bed. Well a couple Wednesdays back he decided to go to the park with his friend. I wanted to go but he said he just wanted to go with his work friend. Rather than me picking an argument and pulling a 'woe is me' card. I simply just waited for him to get back and ask to go on a walk with him. He agreed. A recent experience of yielding for my husband is I gotten a job. This was for helping out our little family. He didn't want me to do this because he felt like he couldn't support our family. He most definitely could alone but I told him we need the extra money to farther ourselves in our careers and to be able to buy extra things. He knew this was true. Now I have a part time job. Be able to yield has importance in a relationship and can usually lessen the fights and arguments.

Camille11325 · 2017-10-14T05:57:07+00:00

If you are naturally a submissive person (note: not submissive in a negative or BDSM way, just traditional feminine softness and deference to male leadership) than it may not feel like you are yielding because you do it automatically.

What is your relationship with yielding? or what is a situation where you would act differently were it not for applying it?

I’ve never had issues with following the male lead but even still there are times where yielding is a better option than arguing or compromising. In some instances this is when the actual result doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things. Many women try to get their way just to make a point or “win” or have “fairness”. But what about when I actually like/want to do something but M vetos? An example that actually happens: he gets final say in everything I wear, my hairstyles, makeup, perfume, etc. Everything beauty related!

I stopped wearing pieces that I enjoyed because I knew that he was not a fan. I ask for his opinion on my makeup when I try something new to make sure he approves. My look is 100% loved by both of us and that makes it even more special to me. Now if I’m going somewhere without him I can wear whatever I want as long as it isn’t revealing/inappropriate. I defer to his preferences when we are together because he is the one who has to look at me lol and I enjoy knowing that he is pleased and attracted, and that he can see my respect for him in my daily look.

What is yielding that is exclusively done by the woman counterpart?

This is a great question. I’d say in traditional dynamics the man will almost always have the final say in really big decisions. So things related to moving houses, changing jobs, where the kids should go to school, what church to belong to, what car to buy, etc. Additionally - and this isn’t really the norm/ideal outside of some churches and RPW (from what I’ve seen) - women yield in the form of never saying no to sex with their husbands. Being receptive at all times falls primarily on the woman’s shoulders just due to the fact that men have higher sex drives; it is also a form of showing respect. Now is “never” 100% literal? No. But the principle remains!

Is the man counterpart ’granting’? If so, is the only difference the spirit in which the decisions are made (making the actions interchangeable)? or are the outcomes, or some other factor, determining what is yielding?

Another awesome question! We’ll definitely have to revisit these as a community :)

There isn’t an official answer to this one but I like “granting” and feel like that is an appropriate term to describe a man letting his wife have the final say on any of the matters listed above (not sex though) so long as it is from a place of power. Yielding implies giving way to something, which is more passive than granting. To grant is to make an active decision. It implies that you have responsibility and control of the matter. Yielding is acknowledging that someone else has control of the situation. I’m just speaking broadly here and it’s really late and I’m going to go to bed soon but hopefully what I’m saying is clear and there’s the obvious disclaimer that women have agency. Yielding is also a choice it just isn’t a choice made when you are in charge imo. But it can also be a state of being.

Lovely post and so honored that you referenced my post <3

dailyqt · 2017-10-08T04:01:27+00:00

When my husband and I started dating, we actually had a pretty bad argument about this. He thought that, no matter what, he should have the final say. He used the "captain and the first mate" analogy, but... marriage isn't a single ship. It's hundreds of little ships, each one with it's own captain.

Since then we have both learned to yield to each other. If I know something to be true more than he does, like makeup or resumes, I will say something and I might even respectfully argue. If it's something he's more knowledgeable on, like cooking, I'll absolutely """submit.""" I do not argue for the sake of arguing, obviously, and if something is more important to him than it is to me, by all means, I let him have the final say. We've really found a perfect balance that allows us to educate each other and do so respectfully.

Title	Examples of yielding
Author	phantasmagnolia
Upvotes	13
Comments	31
Date	October 7, 2017 2:19 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWives
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWives/comments/74v3vj/examples_of_yielding/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWives/examples-of-yielding.208743 https://theredarchive.com/post/208743

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