Feel like a failure

HB3234 · 2020-04-18T19:48:46+00:00

Nothing makes a man feel more masculine than protecting and taking care of his wife. Allow him this pleasure, and multiply it by offering him gratitude and appreciation (elevates him) for what he does instead of apologizing that he must do it (does not elevate him).

Let him know you feel so safe and loved knowing you can rely on him. That he is the best husband and father. That you are so glad to be in this with him.

carolinax · 2020-04-18T16:53:35+00:00

Girl. Give yourself some grace. I have four kids as well, and my two younger kids are only fourteen months apart. You’re not being lazy, you have intense morning sickness from growing a human! I completely understand getting frustrated with yourself (I’m the same way. I have a chronic illness and I live with pain every single day), but I promise, forcing yourself to try and maintain your normal routine while you’re feeling sick and miserable is not going to benefit your family. Take it easy, rest, do what you can when you can. My husband has had to pick up the slack around the house when I was recovering from all the surgeries I’ve had over the past decade, and then when he went on his deployments with the Army it was me taking care of the kids, house, everything 24/7. 🤷🏻‍♀️ That’s just the way it is sometimes. You’re not failing as a housewife and a mom. I promise.

wlucascampbell · 2020-04-18T16:52:47+00:00

Oh girl I feel for you. I had the same with my first baby, horrible all day nausea that was truly debilitating. Can you take on the responsibility of researching hiring someone to come and do as much as possible for you to lighten your husbands load? This is what I had to do because I could barely leave the bed or couch.

I used this time to get ahead in Christmas gifts with my knitting so that I would still feel productive. You can also use this time to maybe pick up some books on your hobbies or on any areas of self improvement.

I would also recommend trying to shower and be clean and neat even if that is all you can manage. I found that scented products made my nausea worse but pure soap and unscented body lotion and deodorant kept me smelling at least clean. Don’t forget to brush your teeth every time you throw up you really don’t want the acid staying on your teeth (I know this can be challenging too because brushing my teeth made me throw up too).

I managed to brush my hair and sometimes put in clips and put on matching pajama sets or a nice nightgown and robe. That made me feel more put together, like it was intentional loungewear.

Another option is athleisure, most men appreciate leggings!

Be gentle with yourself, you may feel like you are doing nothing, but you are doing something truly miraculous growing a child inside of you which takes work every minute of the day. Remember you are giving your husband the greatest gift of all, a new child, which in a way automatically makes you an excellent wife and homemaker.

teaandtalk · 2020-04-18T20:11:38+00:00

Honey, you're building a human inside your body. Your body is literally pulling everything it needs, all the building blocks, from parts you already have inside you - and it's sending out massive hormone signals telling you to stay in bed, eat more plain foods, and let it do its thing. Listen to your body, let your husband make his own lunch, and focus on growing the little person inside you. It won't be forever, usually it settles down, and then you can get back to being super-mum :)

cbang27 · 2020-04-18T17:53:32+00:00

You take care of everyone and do a wonderful job. Let your family take care of you during this time! You won’t be down forever. Maybe your husband can give some small responsibilities to your kids so they can feel like they’re helping too.

I always get super bad morning sickness and I remember with my last I couldn’t even open the fridge without wanting to puke. I was so happy to clean out my fridge once it cleared lol. It was disgusting, but brought me so much joy! 😅

carolinax · 2020-04-18T17:27:56+00:00

I'm at 10 weeks 5 days and I'm so nauseated all day too! 😓 I'm actually trying to calm down now so I don't throw up 🤣

frogswife · 2020-04-18T22:04:29+00:00

Girl I feel like you except I don’t have the other kids to look after. My MIL is actually living with us for a few weeks helping me out because I can barely get out of bed in the afternoons. I felt able to eat a proper meal for the first time in a week this evening and promptly threw half of it up and am back in bed.

I get how you feel.

I feel super guilty that I’m not doing much around the house, I can do light chores in the morning through the nausea but the afternoon and evening are impossible. However... cut yourself a bit of slack. Also, can someone help you out a little? My MIL being here has honestly been a lifesaver the past couple of weeks.

PS when are you due? My EDD is 24th Nov :)

2020-04-19T00:05:08+00:00

When you are worrying about not doing enough, remember that you are literally making a person. And sometimes our bodies find that easier than others.

I am sure when you are really sick and tired, your husband would gladly take some of that burden if he could. He can’t cook a baby though, so he is doing what he can to lighten your load.

This is a display of his love for you. It’s okay to allow yourself to be loved. You are carrying precious cargo.

Also, ondansetron is a blessing from God and don‘t be shy about asking for it if you are really debilitatEd.

Yours, someone who had HG for the entire pregnancy three gddamn times

radradraddest · 2020-05-09T19:54:58+00:00

How about you don't do any more?!? You've been carrying the emotional and physical loads for this family, and it sounds like you have been doing so for a while.

You are pregnant and literally siphoning off energy and nutrients to raise another human!!! If you are sick, you need to take it easy. If you are tired, you need to rest.

Men are very, very capable of helping out and getting stuff done around the house.

You need to listen to your body and do what works best for YOU.

You were not put on this earth to serve your husband. You have your very own thoughts, feelings, ideas, and choices. Listen to yourself, and take care of you!!!

mojo-jojo02 · 2020-06-19T06:45:48+00:00

Your body is in the process of a miracle, take it easy for the sake of the budding life inside of you if not your own sake.

-Raksu- · 2020-08-24T23:29:48+00:00

You are serving God AND your husband making these babies inside your body, suffering and sacrificing. Your husband appreciates and admires that, and understands that it's difficult in the beginning stages. I think at this point in the pregnancy, the most your husband should expect from you is that you are kind and clean. As long as those frumpy clothes don't have stains or smells, you're fine :)

EPeo14 · 2020-04-29T05:01:00+00:00

Lol damn that’s funny

Title	Feel like a failure
Author	frogswife
Upvotes	14
Comments	20
Date	April 18, 2020 4:35 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWives
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWives/comments/g3qffe/feel_like_a_failure/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWives/feel-like-a-failure.654020 https://theredarchive.com/post/654020

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