Our 3-year old isn't (technically) ours, biologically she's my sister-in-law's. We do raise her as our own daughter and do our best to ignore SILs microaggressions.

My husband's very emotionally tough. From what I know of the family's circumstances growing up, he had to be.

He set up a tent in the daughter's room and we slept there during the July 4 fireworks as they are launched close by and seem to have frightened her.

Between fireworks exploding, husband asked the daughter what we meant to her as (surrogate) parents. Conversation below (N is our daughter, H is my husband):

N: Mommy, mommy, I'm scared.

H: To the tent!

LiteratureOk7716: Be right there.

N: Yay! Tent-time!

Hubby and N are in the tent. She's laying with her head on his lap and her legs are outside the open zipper. I enter the tent as well, hold Ns hand, tell her how much I love her, etc.

N: You know, mommy, I only love daddy, because without him, you wouldn't be in my life and that would upset me.

H: Fair, so my only contribution to you is my wife, N?

N: No, you got me this tent.

H: So, ok, my contribution to you is my wife and this tent?

N: Yes, LiteratureOk7716 is the prettiest girl in the whole universe and having her in this tent makes me happy.

I don't know where N got the idea that I'm pretty, much less "the prettiest girl in the whole universe" (probably hubby).