Unexpected Results

Sunhappy_DC · 2016-12-31T06:02:19+00:00

BONUS: half of RPW advice I've gotten at the beginning of the year did not work for me at all with two STRs.

Things that did work for me (Thus far):

Dating age mates makes me feel more at ease and less likely that I have to put on some show of maturity. Age mates dont' care as much. I tried dating older and while I still do like older men, that advice fell flat -- even though I think it makes the most sense. /u/TempestTcup is right that it's harder to find common ground on anything when the age gap is so significant. So I started considering guys closer to my age (30-35) and weirdly enough I think these relationships have been more fun overall. Dating doesn't feel like some massive chore anymore.
I was advised to dress in a 'particular' way that I felt just wasn't modern enough. Earlier, I feel like a lot of RPW threads were about dressing like Norman Rockwell paintings to appear more feminine or whatever and that's just ridiculous i the circles I participate in. /u/Camille11325 suggested demure and after several conversations, I think I found my groove, in terms of fashion. I am very much business professional/casual and I prefer classic looks. While most people don't think PROFESSIONAL when they think available, it works for me. Knowing this and owning it makes me feel more sexy and confident.
One thing I think also really really helped was /u/Camille11325 dominance threshold post. Following its publication to the sub, I got advice to just embrace my more...dominant nature. This seems crazy right? RPW is all about yielding and blah blah, why would you embrace that? Well I think the whole point of RP is that you understand YOUR nature as well as everyone else's -- I could never be a LH even if I wanted to. It's just not me and frankly, I'd find it boring. Embracing my personal quirks of dominance is liberating and makes it easier to know who and how to date. So now I date guys I actually like, not guys that make sense for the person I think I should be.

Overall, ti's been a really transitional year but I'm looking forward to 2017.

StingrayVC · 2016-12-31T13:35:47+00:00

I think the thing that surprised me the most (it wasn't unexpected, just not thought about) was how much more confident and at ease with myself I became when I finally got comfortable with deferring.

I'm LH and I was never comfortable with that when I was younger. I thought I had to be all that "strong and independent" stuff. I thought I had to be outspoken, lead, etc, etc. I was uncomfortable with deferring even though that is in my nature.

When I started doing it without fighting it, I started to notice how much calmer, centered, and confident in who I really am I became. This was surprising to me because of everything I had always been taught.

Title	Unexpected Results
Author	Camille11325
Upvotes	12
Comments	10
Date	December 30, 2016 7:53 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWives
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWives/comments/5l5f4a/unexpected_results/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWives/unexpected-results.209261 https://theredarchive.com/post/209261

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