I often read in relationship forums about how women are “constantly approached” by men. Usually this is from boyfriends who are saying, “She is really hot, so of course this will happen…” & everyone seems to agree.

I have VERY rarely been approached by men. I feel it needs to be said here that I am not horrible to look at; I’m not fat, or dirty, or whatever. Prior to my husband, I had 2 serious boyfriends who are now dating an internationally-known model & a literal princess, respectively.

I’d like to address this issue from the perspective of “AWALT” & hypergamy (&, in that vein, limiting “temptation”), because I think I have some body language “tells” that communicate to men that it would either frighten me or embarrass them for a man to directly approach me sexually:

  • I dress modestly & do not “shine up” for day-to-day life (I rarely wear makeup, except at home in the evenings or with my husband’s family or friends; I only “blow it out” for big date nights, or vacations, or random at-home nights)
  • I often find myself surrounded by a ton of young, attractive professionals; in this situation, I “scan” the room (communicate with my body language that I am AWARE of the situation — this is normal “self-defense”), yet I do not “linger” visually on anyone specifically, unless it’s a lady whose style is notable, & I will approach & compliment a put-together woman & ask for advice if appropriate
  • Even when I was “single,” I was still “committed” (to myself, my family, & my goals); I was not “on the prowl” so to speak

As a side-note, if you are wondering how I ever got serious boyfriends or a husband, I am always “friendly” & “polite” to other humans, regardless of gender/age/attractiveness. All of my relationships have started with group hang-outs (even if I was being specifically “targeted” as a potential match by the man arranging the get-togethers) that slowly escalated. The men who were successful in this were able to maintain consistent, rising sexual tension, while still being extremely respectful & appreciative of the mutual “vetting” process.

TLDR: “Constantly getting hit on” is potentially a yellow flag for how you are carrying or presenting yourself socially