The following is an excerpt:

——The “sunk cost” fallacy occurs when we allow our past investment of time, emotions, resources, etc., to interfere with our decision-making in the present, usually in ways that prove detrimental to our future. When we make present-day decisions based on the hopeful future value of something we’ve invested our time, energy, money, etc., we tend to misjudge. Our decisions are tainted by our past emotional investment, and thus we overestimate the benefits and value something might bring us in the future. There is no better example of the “sunk cost” fallacy at work then in romantic relationships. If you have made a significant amount of emotional investment in a guy, it can be extremely difficult to disregard that investment when you realize that the guy you’re dating turned out to be nothing more than a liability. But while this might tempt you to hold course so that you can “see where this thing goes”, don’t give in to that temptation. It will only allow him to waste your time even further. If a man has consistently proven himself to be unworthy of your love, the love you have already put into the relationship is now nothing more than a sunk cost that must be ignored. Trying to “honour” the sunk costs (time spent, tears cried, love shared, gifts bought, trips taken, etc.) by staying in a bad relationship in hopes that a man will change is a terrible decision. And unfortunately for women, it’s a decision that many men continue to exploit at their leisure. Many women also seem to struggle with the idea of walking away from a man they consider high-value or “perfect” in some way, shape, or form. They will put up with his emotional unavailability, his half-hearted attempts to keep in touch, and even his cheating if they’re desperate enough. When a woman fails to properly recognize and preserve her own value, she may end up attaching her value to the man she’s with. Her self-worth then becomes centred on the supposed quality of the man she’s dating. And when this hold becomes strong enough, she may find herself unwilling to leave a dead-end relationship so long as it gives her access to and attention from the man she so highly esteems. The major flaw in her thinking in this regard is that her lack of self-respect causes her to attach her sense of worth to the quality or “rightness” of the man in her life. Because she’s so focused on the “rightness” of the man she’s dating, she pays little attention for the “rightness” of the relationship and whether or not her dream guy is actually making her happy. The key to being able to walk away from a “shiny object” is to ensure that your dream guy, or Mr. Right, is also Mr. Commitment-Compatible. In one of the points from my book, Never Chase Men Again, I discuss the importance of appraising the men you date based on both their inner qualities and the compatibility of your dating and relationship goals. If your alleged Mr. Right has all the right qualities, all the right assets, and all the right moves but doesn’t want the kind of commitment you want, guess what? He’s not really Mr. Right. Waiting around for him to change his mind in hopes that you will eventually lull him into a serious commitment is an extraordinarily bad idea.

Bryans, Bruce (2017-03-04). How To Get A Man Without Getting Played: 29 Dating Secrets to Catch Mr. Right, Set Your Standards, and Eliminate Time Wasters (Kindle Locations 870-896). UNKNOWN. Kindle Edition.——

We've all been there and we all have girlfriends who are still there-- thinking that it is in their best interest to stay in a dead-end relationship for the sake of honoring their time commitment or for the sake of avoiding gossip. I come from a community where a new bride will commit herself to a lifetime of misery with the wrong man (arranged marriage) for the sake of avoiding gossip by splitting up.

Now I don't think this should be used as an excuse to throw away a perfectly good relationship because of a minor hiccup. But it SHOULD inspire intense self-reflection about whether the 'captain' for whom you are pining is actually the right man FOR YOU. We RPW realize how rare it is to find /any/ captain that we often cling to him often not taking time to think whether he is the /right/ captain. I believe long and happy marriages are a product of effort, but not exertion. And I believe that RPW are particularly susceptible to this b/c we're far less likely to walk away when things get hard.

Many RPW are (rightfully) committed to supporting their man in everything, sometimes even at the cost of their own well-being/happiness. I hope this post serves as a reminder to prioritize your hard-working, devoted self as well <3

"Don't cling to a mistake just because you spent a lot of time making it."

Do you know of any experiences (either personal or of a friend) where you witnessed the 'sunken cost' fallacy in action?