Can one become un-damaged?

ArkNemesis00 · 2023-03-19T02:09:41+00:00

Eh, it's one thing to add to the list of things you don't have going for you. We all have lists, some shorter, some longer. Add something to the list of things you have going for you.

People use past behavior to predict future behavior. If you don't like what your past says about you, change your present behavior. One day, this will be your past. You could choose to enter nun mode, or limit your sex partners to those you're in a committed relationship with. That's really all you control at this point.

Swear off marriage if you've determined marriage isn't what will make you the most happy or the most fulfilled in life. Not because of a fear of rejection. Anxiety is getting the better of you here.

CountTheBees · 2023-03-19T04:07:53+00:00

Short answer is: you'll be fine. I assume you've already read the usual recommended posts like...

So What If You've Had a Lot of Partners?

Buy Matching Luggage, Carry it Together

I read a beautiful (wish I saved it, but I didn't) post here about a woman who had a terrible childhood, and when she became of age - sadly turned to drug abuse and had a high N count. She had done a lot of work in therapy on herself and had healed. She certainly didn't sound damaged, she had a good life at the time of writing. She had found a wonderful man who accepted her past and treated her with kindness, dignity and love. And she was truly in love with him, in love for the first time in her life. She was worried about the same thing you were - was she good enough for him? How could she make sure it would last? I don't know how she is now, but I think she made it. You want to be able to love someone that loves you and treats you well, and treat them well. As long as you can do that, you're at the same level as anyone else and frankly, a little above them, because not everyone treats their partner well.

If you still feel damaged, it's worth taking some time to examine that feeling. Are you just beating yourself up because you're too scared to actually live and succeed? Or are you afraid that whatever made you act rashly is still there, and hasn't been dealt with? Whatever it is, journal, or get therapy, do your best to get to the bottom of it. But even if you still feel a little guilty, it's ok. This fear/guilt never really goes away until you hear a man say, "I don't care about that, and I don't want to talk about it. I love you." And that requires making yourself into the best possible version of you and getting out of your own way.

DunboyCastleInTheSky · 2023-03-19T12:17:38+00:00

If you acknowledge that you’ve made a mistake and are accountable for your actions, then you can build self-value. Once you’re able to do that, you’ll start making better decisions and live a life where you feel worthy of being loved. Best of luck (and I’m absolutely speaking from experience)! I had the highest body count of my friends and I’m the only one married.

VasiliyZaitzev · 2023-03-19T07:33:16+00:00

Just because you have done certain things in the past does not mean you have to continue doing them. Broken bones can heal and be stronger at the broken places.

But.

But you need to understand why you got to where you are at in the first place - assuming that this is not just a hypothetical question. And you have to figure out how you will square your past and your future. By that I mean if I am Jack the Good Guy who you make wait and wait for sex, and I find out that you used to do threeways for you ex Joe the Loser Druggie, or you would bang guys because it was Tuesday, or smth, well it would be hard not to be resentful. I mean, I’m pretty jaded, but even I have sympathy for the guy in that situation. Don’t be surprised if you get ”So wait, your abusive ex got threeways and I get duty sex?” at some point. Nobody wants to feel “less than.” Imagine if you found out that your husband took his ex girlfriends on lavish vacations to Paris or Bali twice a year and bought them jewelry and stuff, and he takes you for a weekend at the Motel 6 out by the fairgrounds. You would feel that that was unfair, no? Because yeah, that’s how that feels. So unless you plan on giving future hubby the ‘Good Sex’ you are going to have to figure out how to handle that without lying and without making him feel ‘not good enough’. And trust me, saying “I’m a different person now” is only going to make it worse.

AutoModerator · 2023-03-19T01:35:33+00:00

Title: Can one become un-damaged?

Full text: Is body count damage forever? Or are there things you can do to mitigate potential future risk to marriage? How should one act in the face of this? Should one swear off marriage entirely?

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ArdentBandicoot · 2023-03-21T10:11:07+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	Can one become un-damaged?
Author	brushshstrokes
Upvotes	3
Comments	10
Date	March 19, 2023 1:35 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/11v7hq6/can_one_become_undamaged/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/can-one-become-un-damaged.1187139 https://theredarchive.com/post/1187139

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