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[–]always-be-closing8 points9 points10 points 10 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
This is, crucially, distinct from clarifying to yourself and others, why you are unhappy - - being clear about what you want and don't want is very necessary.
Just don't complain.
[–]SexualMotorVehicle-1 points0 points1 point 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I see no semantic difference there. If someone were to describe all the reasons they are unhappy, that would be labeled complaining.
[–]PhantomDream09 14 points15 points16 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Beyond the absolutely incredible fact that your brain is always doing this, consistently shifting and morphing with every thought, even more exciting is the fact that the synapses you’ve most strongly bonded together (by thinking about more frequently) come to represent your default personality: your intelligence, skills, aptitudes, and most easily accessible thoughts(which are more-or-less the source of your conversation skills).
Gratitude, and happiness are habits. The more you practice, the easier it is to feel (and express) both emotions. The more you train yourself to react with "how can this be fixed?" instead of "things are horrible" - the easier it will be to become proactive instead of stalling out and getting stuck in the mud.
[–]snbdmliss0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Much agreed!
[–]TempestTcup2 points3 points4 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Anything with the mind-blown gif has got to be good :)
[–]cats_or_get_out2 points3 points4 points 10 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Have you noticed how contagious complaining is? I will drive to work and prep myself for a day of gratitude, a day of peace, and not an hour into my morning, I find myself listening to some blaming/complaining cycle--and worse, I find myself wanting to join in.
I have been avoiding some of my extra cranky coworkers because I find myself getting caught up in that bad mood stuff. I have started leaving the building at lunch, so I don't get swept up in the breakroom angst nonsense.
[–]freebumblebeeendorsed woman7 points8 points9 points 10 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I also feel like complaining is expected. I come into work with a good attitude and answer positively when people ask how I am/what I've been up to and then questions about work. It's hard for me to articulate how (just got home and very tired!), but using various social cues, it becomes immediately obvious that you're expected to join in the group complaining--or you can forego group socialization. People will also accuse me of lying (for real) when I'm too positive. It's a bummer because I'm a pretty happy, bubbly person, but I feel like I have to join in and be a downer.
[–]LaPrimaVera2 points3 points4 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I find many of my coworkers assume a negative response is normal "it's such a horrible rainy day, don't we all get so miserable and sluggish on days like this". It's hard to respond by saying I love to to watch a storm. Even if it's not said outright it's often implied that the negative response is natural.
[–]cats_or_get_out0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Me too! I love the rain (grew up in dry dry California). It rains a lot where we live now, and it never grows old. Some people just love to complain, I think. I am trying to figure out graceful ways to exit a conversation that turns sour.
[–]cats_or_get_out1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I feel like complaining is expected.
Yes, so true!
[–]dalls182 points3 points4 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes! to everything you said. I feel like this at work all the time, everyone is always talking about everyone else in a negative way and complaining, and it's like they look at you to join in. It drives me crazy and puts me in a bad mood almost instantly.
[–]TempestTcup0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The owner of the small company I work for is one of the "glass half full" people, and he can always find good things in a bad situation. He is always very upbeat and positive about everything, and it is also very contagious. Everyone in the company adopts that attitude. I feel pretty lucky to work in that environment!
I've worked at places where the owner was a negative person who was always complaining, and everyone in the company was miserable. This attitude seems to trickle down instead of up, so if the owner is unhappy, the people under them are and in turn make their workers miserable.
I say to do as my boss does and lead by example. I know it can be difficult in a large company, but maybe you will draw a group of coworkers that are also positive and upbeat.
I think that it's also important, when interviewing for a job, to see the attitude of the interviewer, and if they are relaxed and cheerful, then it is probably a good place to work. I've turned down many jobs where the interviewer (usually your next boss if you take a job in a small company) is harried or sullen.
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[–]always-be-closing8 points9 points10 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]SexualMotorVehicle-1 points0 points1 point (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]PhantomDream09 14 points15 points16 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]snbdmliss0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]TempestTcup2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]cats_or_get_out2 points3 points4 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]freebumblebeeendorsed woman7 points8 points9 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]LaPrimaVera2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]cats_or_get_out0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]cats_or_get_out1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]dalls182 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]TempestTcup0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link