Dealing with low self-esteem

lunatic_in_the_hall · 2018-01-12T11:40:12+00:00

The most obvious piece of advice is: fake it til you make it. It's a cliche, but it actually works. Even if, on the inside, you feel insecure, act as though you don't. It's going to take a lot of practice, but at some point you'll realize that just acting more confident will make you FEEL more confident! This is a real psychological phenomenon! Funny how the brain works :)

KittenLoves_ · 2018-01-12T13:10:35+00:00

/u/lunatic_in_the_hall is spot on. I would couple her advice with this: tell yourself you're great! While you're working on your physical/mental/whatever that you want to improve, don't forget to take some time to just compliment yourself. Look in the mirror and say "damn girl, you have amazing eyes! That nose? Sexy! And I love how smart and funny you are!" or whatever other thing feels right in the moment. Maybe a mantra, maybe you'll want to switch it up occasionally. Build yourself up with compliments, don't wait for others to do it for you.

TradJenna · 2018-01-12T11:42:44+00:00

Why not follow etiquette until you’re feeling better. When you receive a compliment, simply smile (even a little one) and say “thank you”.

You don’t need to give one back, out of obligation. Etiquette says don’t push the compliment away or explain why. Just a simple “thank you”. :)

cuspids · 2018-01-12T14:30:41+00:00

If you're actively working on your inner problems already, something that might be helpful to temporarily boost your self-esteem is lifting your mood.

Exercise, good music, funny movies/TV shows, spending time with a funny friend, good night's sleep, basically anything that makes you laugh and smile can help lift your mood and make you feel good in general.

It's not a substitute for tackling the inner problems but it can give you a boost while you are working on the foundation.

HailSeitan69 · 2018-01-13T15:22:40+00:00

I want to be someone people are happy to be around, and not someone who needs other people to cheer them up.

I find that confidence and happiness go hand in hand for me. How does your self care look? I know I let mine go when I was struggling with depression and low self esteem. What worked for me was doing 3 self care things a day that made me feel good (based on the "Surrendered Wife's" tip). Once you are in control of making yourself happy, it's a beautiful thing.

You are already taking great first steps so major kudos! Put yourself first and focus on making yourself happy, and the rest should come along naturally. At least in my case. :)

free_breakfast_ · 2018-01-13T02:08:55+00:00

Here are some resources I found useful in improving my self-esteem:

The missing tile syndrome: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1qanDVZHliw
Martin Seligman on positive experience and positive psychology: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mp8xN1K-ITs | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1qJvS8v0TTI
Familiarity with different theories on self-esteem on wikipedia: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-esteem#Types

The long and short on self-esteem involves a host of variables:

Self-image
Self-efficacy
Secure attachment relationships
cognitive and behavioral awareness: particularly on subjects such as emotional intelligence (EQ)
Growth vs Fixed Mindsets: highly recommend Carol S. Dweck book mindset

fromo_latte · 2018-01-15T00:45:14+00:00

Self Love. Once I started loving myself, my confidence grew naturally and authentically. Putting myself down isn’t loving to myself. Comparing myself to others isn’t loving to myself. Internalizing peoples thoughts and beliefs about me isn’t loving to myself. This goes beyond faking it to you make it, that’s not authentic. Self confidence is real confidence and it feels different than pretending. You can’t put on a mask to the outside world while you do our inner work. Be brave, show your vulnerability and you’ll get to where you need to go faster. Good luck <3

Title	Dealing with low self-esteem
Author	happyhelpfulheart
Upvotes	23
Comments	12
Date	January 12, 2018 7:17 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/7puzyb/dealing_with_low_selfesteem/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/dealing-with-low-self-esteem.74086 https://theredarchive.com/post/74086

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