Divorce

vintagegirlgame · 2019-11-24T10:17:53+00:00

I’m sorry you’re going through this. That is such a short time to end a marriage. Who initiated?

2 of the weddings I have been to in the past 2 years are already ending in divorce. Thankfully they did not have children.

HastaPronto90 · 2019-11-24T12:38:14+00:00

The reasons why it failed are the most fundamental ones in the whole context. Could you give some infos?

thinkingfemale · 2019-11-24T12:49:34+00:00

[deleted]

Taters0290 · 2019-11-24T17:43:47+00:00

Im sorry it didn’t work out. It’s hard to go through a divorce even if it’s desired.

I married at 21 and divorced at 22. We were far too immature. It, however, was a great learning experience for me. I chose to just be for a few months after we separated. My ex was very smothering and controlling, so I really needed that time to relax and enjoy my freedom from his overbearing constant presence in my face. I honestly felt like I’d been let out of prison. I used that time also to ruminate on why I married someone like that (and my own mistakes in the marriage) and really think about what I did and did not want in a husband/marriage. When I started dating again I dated within those perimeters very strictly; established adult man, career (as opposed to a job), older, mature, nice, introvert, independent emotionally, compatible goals, not a game player, etc. If a guy showed any trait I was unwilling to live with I didn’t waste any more time on him. That sounds harsh, but I was determined not to get into another mess. Why waste everyone’s time?

I met and fell in love with my husband of 30 years about six months later. He ticked every box, plus we have/had amazing chemistry. He rocked my world. I’d never dated a man like him and it was awesome to be wined and dined and openly cherished. I still made a lot of mistakes, but it’s to his credit that he was mature enough (ten years older than me) to be patient with me. I’m sure at times he felt he’d adopted a child, lol. It’s to my credit that I was willing to accept correction and change. He’s worked on things too, not trying to make it seem like I was the only one making mistakes.

thinkingfemale · 2019-11-24T21:46:14+00:00

You've been married for a year and a half. How long could you have actually "worked at" this?

I read your explanation and it sounds like you're jumping ship because it isn't easy. It sounds like you've made up your mind, so my advice would be not to marry again while you still have this mentality towards marriage. All marriages have bumps, all marriages have moments where it would be easy or more enjoyable to just walk out. Repairing damage takes time, and if you're not willing to wade through the difficult parts of marriage and put in real, hard work you shouldn't be getting married in the first place.

It's my view that almost any marriage can be fixed with enough work, unless you're dealing with addiction or violence (I think Laura Doyle says similar?).

Cookiefailure · 2019-11-24T18:18:59+00:00

Surrendering doesn’t work if you are doing it with the ulterior motive of getting what you want. I wish you the best going forward.

PreciousMuffn · 2019-11-26T06:43:27+00:00

I got married at age 22 and divorced at 32 after he fell back into adulterous/addictive patterns. I dated one of my closest friends for several months who actually introduced me to TRP and RPW, and while we didn’t work out and we’re no longer close... I have no regrets. It’s absolutely what I needed at the time.

It wasn’t easy, and I had to move twice in under a year....so I bought a condo and remodeled it. I finally started therapy about a year after my divorce and was finally getting comfortable with being alone (ditched a couple orbiters and went into nun mode) when I met my fiancé.

I went out with friends when I was single. I still participated in my hobbies. A lot of the time I chose to stay in and relax or take care I’d myself, though. Do what feels right for you.

Rest_in_grace · 2019-11-24T13:25:18+00:00

I am 30f and divorced. We were not compatible. It really feels like a punch in the gut. We separated 10 months ago. It still feels like a punch in the gut. Remember there is always hope. I found a wonderful man at 30 y\o and I’ve been able to better myself and learn from my mistakes.

Title	Divorce
Author	thinkingfemale
Upvotes	16
Comments	36
Date	November 24, 2019 9:48 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/e0wkb4/divorce/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/divorce.296442 https://theredarchive.com/post/296442

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