Feeling vulnerable might delete later

Jenneapolis · 2023-10-31T20:59:28+00:00

This is why we go to our friends/family and self-care. To the other commenters saying he should be there for you, of course he should be on occasion, but the danger is women who constantly need validation and emotional reinforcement from their partners all the time. It’s very common for women to nag their partner about whatever their insecurity is - tell me I’m beautiful, you’re not going to cheat on me, am I fat, am I stupid, I’m so ugly, my nose is too big… you get the idea.

This is a turn off for men and would be a turn off for a woman coming from a man as well. The problem with constantly expressing these thoughts is that every human has them. None of us always feel great about ourselves all the time but it should not be his responsibility to build up your confidence. And when he does compliment you, you want it to be genuine, not because you are nagging him about it. Everyone is attracted to a confident person.

So talk to your friends when you need to, but even better is self-care, whatever that looks like for you. If I’m having a really bad day, I crawl in bed, watch a Netflix show, and will be bummed out knowing that it will pass.

FishandThings · 2023-10-31T21:01:23+00:00

I feel extra vulnerable, and needy, and wishful or hopeful

Man here.

A lot of men like to feel useful, it makes them feel good, manly and dependable.

See if you can find a way for you to channel your feelings in a way that you can go to him for help and support and he would actually be able to assist you with your emotional needs. Then you should make a big deal (honestly) about how much his support meant to you. Tell and show him how much you appreciate him and how useful he was.

If my future girlfriend/wife hid such feelings from me I would be annoyed as leading her through problems is supposed to be my job - or at the very least just being there for her as she is dealing with her emotions.

I think the reverse - men going to their wives/girlfriends with constant emotional problems - would be more of an attraction killer than the other way around - however this will of course vary from couple to couple.

If you cannot go to your captain for help with your problems then are you really as committed as you think you are? Even if the problem is the continual reoccurrence of these feelings, rather than the feelings themselves.

Of course if this is a constant thing that is becoming obsessive and wreaks of insecurities then that is different and you should look to outside support networks and possibly counselling.

tequilathehun · 2023-10-31T20:05:31+00:00

How serious are you and your partner? You should be able to be vulnerable and supported by a proper partnership

LiteratureOk7716 · 2023-10-31T20:31:20+00:00

committed boyfriend

If this commitment is two-way, your feelings are unwarranted about it being an "attraction killer".

SecretOther289 · 2023-10-31T20:39:12+00:00

A man who notices when you're vulnerable and needy, and gives you what you need is a pearl.

Usually, we have to train them how to recognize the signs and how to address them and make us feel better.

Don't expect him to read your mind. It is not of their nature.

One-Introduction-566 · 2023-10-31T20:22:46+00:00

You should be able to go to him about it. I also feel that way sometimes, I’m also just a big anxious mess a lot recently. Of course if I was going to him with negative feelings daily all the time(yes there may be seasons of it because life sucks sometimes), then maybe it’s time to seek help or support through other means too. My bf has been great though, telling me he’s there for me and that one of his “jobs” as bf is being a rock for me when he can. It may be a mood killer for certain types of intimacy while I’m crying to him, but it’s not an attraction killer.

FancyPants882 · 2023-11-01T00:50:18+00:00

There is a line between your man supporting you through ups and downs and him being your emotional support 100%. Men love to be the hero and help with our problems, and may even want you to share with him. I don't think it would be an attraction killer to show him your vulnerability but to rely on him totally to help you through could wear him down, particularly if it's an ongoing problem. Turn to self care and good friends and family to help relieve the burden.

Sometimes when I'm working through something and just feel like the support of my husband I'll just say to him that I need a hug. Just having that closeness and knowing he's there makes all the difference to help me work through things myself.

Vynxe-Vainglory · 2023-11-01T11:49:48+00:00

Unlike when a man is needy to his gf, this is not an attraction killer when a woman is doing it.

As long as you aren't being pushy, naggy, and annoying, it's going to be a godsend for you to be acting needy and vulnerable. It gives him a chance to be closer to you and be your rock to cling onto through the storms. Guys love that. You're giving your power away and showing devotion.

AutoModerator · 2023-10-31T19:53:49+00:00

Title: Feeling vulnerable might delete later

Full text: There are just some days where I feel extra vulnerable, and needy, and wishful or hopeful, and I feel like I can’t express that to my boyfriend because I feel that is an attraction killer. Can you talk some sense into me?

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AutoModerator · 2023-10-31T22:31:33+00:00

Title: Feeling vulnerable might delete later

Author bluecat37

Full text: There are just some days where I feel extra vulnerable, and needy, and wishful or hopeful, and I feel like I can’t express that to my committed boyfriend because I feel that is an attraction killer. Can you talk some sense into me?

Edit: We are in a committed, LTR

Edit: Thank you all so, so much

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Title	Feeling vulnerable might delete later
Author	bluecat37
Upvotes	9
Comments	19
Date	October 31, 2023 7:53 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/17ktr81/feeling_vulnerable_might_delete_later/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/feeling-vulnerable-might-delete-later.1236989 https://theredarchive.com/post/1236989

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