Hi ladies!

I'm living with my wonderful man (LTR, 8 months) and everything is unbelievably good, but I found something to worry about. I need your help on this: I might be meeting my boyfriend's ex in a few weeks and I feel really insecure on how I should position myself and stay graceful about the whole topic and/or in that situation.

Some background:

  • She was his high school sweetheart. They had been on/off together from when he was 16 up until he was 25 years old. He has an old group of friends that he knows since high school, that he shares with her. Since the breakup, they had always invited him or her to hang out with, but now she's dating someone new too, and one of the friends is hosting a (very small) housewarming party, where everyone's invited. Not everyone has RSVPd yet, but it seems like it will be the host+his gf, the ex+bf, another couple, me and my bf, and two other single friends at most. Hosting friend mentioned the party the other day when he was at our place and stressed that he would very much like for both of us to come. He misses the friend group as a whole.

  • Why am I nervous about this? When I first met my boyfriend, he was still together with her. We talked and there were some serious sparks and fireworks, but in the same conversation he mentioned his gf and I backed off and avoided him after that (had a post asking for advice on what to do back in the day, you guys were great!). A few weeks later he came looking for me again, he said that he hadn't been happy with her for a while, but didn't realize what he needed until he met me and broke up with her because of that. This decision was the first thing he told me, and was independent of any possible outcome between us. We started dating et voilà, that's that. They haven't had any more contact that I know of, except from some practical stuff (her mail kept arriving at his old address).

Since the invitation, my boyfriend has told his friend that "we'll see" if we come or not, but of course, me being the neurotic person that I am, it's been eating me away. When he told me I said that I would be "fine with whatever we do" and that I can make an effort to get along with everyone, and he seemed visibly relieved. But the situation is so weird and awkward that I can't imagine there not being a huge elephant in the room or how to stay poised and elegant.

So, any advice on how to handle this gracefully? Both now with regards to my boyfriend as he makes up his mind and in the hypothetical situation of us actually going and sitting in a very small group with his ex and her new partner?