Help?

Wife_and_Mama · 2025-09-28T00:15:04+00:00

These aren't just big differences in the lifestyle you picture, but a complete lack of respect for your desires, opinions, and boundaries on his part. I've been with my husband for 10 years. I can count the number of times he's called me a bitch on zero fingers. None of this is okay. You're better off single at 29 than divorced with a kid and a domestic violence story at 33.

InevitableKiwi5776 · 2025-09-28T02:33:48+00:00

If you’re not pregnant and you don’t need him to support you, why on earth would you proceed with a marriage that you are questioning and that makes you nervous?

He’s slapping you when he’s upset with you. That is not normal. Every relationship will have trade offs, but this is not one of them.

Such-Tangerine2673 · 2025-09-28T00:06:51+00:00

Do you want to be the breadwinner? Do you want to be with a man who slaps you? Do you want to be wearing skirts 24/7? Do you want to be with someone who tries to fully control you? Do you want to be with a man who views you as “leftovers”? Do you want your future daughter or son growing up and seeing that as an example?

Please just read your own post back to yourself and wake up. Being single would be far better than dealing with that, and at least then you would be available to meet someone actually decent.

YoyoPeaches · 2025-09-28T02:25:33+00:00

I'd run personally.

However if you enjoy being the breadwinner thats okay. However, It seems like he wants tradition, without him being traditional.

and also why is it fair the he would get to stay home with the kids while you work? like good for him being so "woke" but also thats prime bonding time for mom imo

#3 bothered me. do not let this continue. You should leave based on this alone. Is he going to slap the children when they misbehave too? Going to call them names too? Can you imagine if he called you the b word infront of children?

you don't have kids with him - you aren't stuck.

teammeli · 2025-09-28T07:14:03+00:00

tell him he can wear dresses and skirts since he wants to be a kept woman and sahm

fashoclock · 2025-09-28T18:59:52+00:00

So you're saying that he wants you to be a traditional woman without being a traditional man. ahah got it.

0005000f · 2025-09-29T02:36:00+00:00

I'm sorry but there are just so many red flags here, it looks like a Soviet parade back in my old country. I'm not going to repeat everything that's already been mentioned, but I'll say this: any issues that you are already apprehensive about, before even getting married, will almost certainly grow into huge issues. Picture yourself a few years down the road, tied to this man forever because of your children, saying to yourself "I knew this was going to happen! Why didn't I listen to my gut?!"

prairiegirl1986 · 2025-09-29T16:37:30+00:00

Get out now. This is the start of a non-consensual BDSM relationship. He is controlling and manipulating you, and twisting it to seem like you are the problem. It's like the frog in the boiling water. It starts slow, but eventually you'll be in so deep you won't be able to get out.

Besides the fact that he's trying to act like an "alpha" while sending you off to work to pay the bills. That's incredibly unattractive (or at least, if you're in this community, it should be).

ArkNemesis00 · 2025-09-28T13:26:24+00:00

What do you want?

Marriage and LTRs will have their difficult moments. Something I think people underestimate is how much a couple needs to be able to negotiate. It sounds like he's the more disagreeable one, which is fine, but it does mean to make a relationship work that you will either need to become more assertive or he will need to be more sensitive to your needs.

If you two cannot figure out how to compromise well and for both parties to be happy, you cannot work together for the long haul. Nothing good comes from trying to put up with things that seriously bother you for the rest of your life.

If you dislike conflict, don't like how he gets when confronted, or for another reason don't want to be more assertive, you are likely best finding a different partner you have more in common with and/or can more easily negotiate with.

Regarding your last paragraph, I find my best decisions are never based on fear. My worst often are.

AutoModerator · 2025-09-27T23:55:06+00:00

Title: Help?

Author Ok_Evening_5412

Full text: Hello,

I am needing an outside few on what I should do in a situation like this. I (29F) with (34M) have been engaged recently. Some things are making me question it and I am very nervous.

I make most money (salary wise) so he wants me to continue working and put my money towards investments while he stays home with kids in the future and pays for housing/bills.
Only wants me wearing skirts/dresses. All the time in the household, to bed, etc. I ask for option to not and he is hard to convince. Some of it I am not comfortable wearing in public due to being revealing but he tells me I’m being unreasonable and has me go out anyway in the outfit.
“Playfully” slaps me so I “behave”. I expressed discomfort with this but he keeps doing, especially if he is upset with me and thinks I’ve done something wrong. Says I’m being a “b*tch” when upset which I’ve also expressed is not okay.

Good things are that he’s trustworthy, I’ve been with him for years and he does have high net worth. He has been very understanding of some of my own personal issues. But I can’t help but think I am not happy. However he is constantly telling me I’m the issue.

Please tell me if I should improve or any advice. He’s also expressed that I am old, watched many red pill videos (fresh n fit, Kevin Samuel, etc) stating that women who are not married before 30 are leftovers which makes me very insecure.

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VasiliyZaitzev · 2025-09-28T20:54:48+00:00

So it seems you guys are pretty far apart in terms of compatibility issues. When he tells you that you’re overreacting, to him, you are. He just thinks more things are playful than you do. That’s a “point of view” issue.

About the dress thing, does he want you to wear only short skirts? Could certainly one could wear dresses that aren’t revealing, but leggings that are. Not sure I fully understand this one.

So when you say “slapping“ do you mean hitting you in anger? Or do you mean like a light cuff on the butt? Cause a face lap is certainly one thing but the cuff on the butt probably not as bad. It all depends on context. Sometimes I will cuff a girl I’m dating on the butt just because she walked with a range. But I’m not doing it to hurt her and usually it’s pretty well received. So again need some more color.

It could just be that you’re not a great match. As an example, there are things I can think of that I could say to one woman I know that she would think is funny, but another one would be insulted. There are variables.

Title	Help?
Author	Ok_Evening_5412
Upvotes	5
Comments	15
Date	September 27, 2025 11:55 PM UTC (10 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1nsa1fa/help/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/help.1562955 https://theredarchive.com/post/1562955

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