How do you forgive?

HB3234 · 2020-01-01T01:52:55+00:00

I know this is going to sting to read, because you obviously saved for his boots out of love and not disrespect, but it probably didn't feel good for him that you were saving for his work boots. Men want to feel like competent providers. When you take on a provider role (saving money to purchase him a necessity), it doesn't feel good for him. In fact, it can even be humiliating.

When it comes to things he needs for work, the most respectful thing you can do is trust that he will figure it out on his own. If he asks you to cut back expenses, you should do that -- but don't take on that provider role unasked. That makes him feel like you don't trust and respect him enough to see him as someone that can sort out his work necessities on his own.

When men don't feel respected, admired, and accepted for who they fully are, they can often withdraw their attention and/or sexuality. If you can put more effort into serving him on those fronts, I think you will find his behavior shifts to give you the reassurance you crave.

W0zzynix · 2019-12-31T20:42:55+00:00

Yes, it depends on what the circumstances are. We need more info

bananab33 · 2020-01-01T03:49:11+00:00

For me, I just realize that I have a lot of shortcomings too (as do all humans), and I try to put the problem into the perspective of us spending like 60 years together. Those two mental exercises have helped me to forgive a lot. Forgiving quickly also helps me to cut myself some slack when I fall short, because I've forgiven him a lot so I know he "owes" me some slack as well. I also often picture that if I got cancer, he'd be the one to take care of me, or if there was a war, he might die for me. I know it's a little silly, but picturing those scenarios helps a lot with petty issues.

Manny1400 · 2019-12-31T20:37:07+00:00

I guess it depends what he did. Infidelity?

chaygray · 2020-01-02T17:03:38+00:00

Her husband is literally cheating on her with the excuse of "sexual variety" and you are really focusing on if buying him a pair of boots reduces his masculinity? 🤔

notyetsaved · 2020-01-01T03:06:34+00:00

Forgiveness is a decision. You accept the event as part of your (individual and family) history and you choose not to continue to hold it against him. You (obviously) cannot forget it.

It is something you will have to work through within yourself.

willowwishes · 2020-01-02T05:21:47+00:00

[removed]

Title	How do you forgive?
Author	willowwishes
Upvotes	4
Comments	37
Date	December 31, 2019 7:30 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/ei7le5/how_do_you_forgive/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/how-do-you-forgive.303801 https://theredarchive.com/post/303801

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