How does one keep a man's attention without chasing?

Fieryirishplease · 2020-12-02T00:14:52+00:00

The chase should be mutual honestly. You may have to ignore your pride and initiate first contact if there is someone who you want to have pursue you. Being the first initiator is how I got my Captains attention. He was so used to picking people that to BE picked intrigued him like no other.

From there his interest was sparked so heavily that he chased me, we have a wonderful and open communication that started before we ever met in person where we each laid out what exactly we were looking for in a relationship. Being coy and just hoping that a man will pick you out can work for some but you must have flexibility and some grace to not feel jaded by taking the initial step.

However, if he isn't doing any chasing at all, then you move on quickly. There must be give and take.

junior_primary_riot · 2020-12-02T06:15:05+00:00

Years ago I actually learned from a psychology lecture that it is women who usually do initially spark the chase! But it is done very subtly, almost unconsciously on our part. We are the ones that make eye contact and hold it a fraction of a second too long (showing interest) or glance away and glance back (showing interest). We give the guy a smile. He takes all of these little cues and then makes the first move. But we actually did our part to invite that first move!

Men are visual creatures so we do have to have some visual appeal. Guys like not too much makeup but generally eye makeup is appreciated, a girl who smiles and is happy, has clean, styled hair and visible feminine curves (this can be accomplished at any size using smoothing shape wear and proper fitting bras under clothes that best accent your figure.)

Acting in a feminine way very much helps. My domineering mother was awful at this so I never had a good role model. The books Fascinating Girl (for dating) and Fascinating Womanhood (for marriage) can help. I really benefitted from learning how to be more feminine. Men absolutely thrive around a woman who is acting feminine because it complements his masculinity by serving as its opposite. Because this is increasingly absent in our society, simply increasing your feminine behaviors in public may be all you need.

It is true that good guys are hesitant to initiate the chase or approach a woman because it carries a greater personal risk in today’s society. Help him overcome this by smiling and having something friendly to say to break the ice. Easier said than done but it does get better with practice.

One “secret weapon” is for you to be the first person to break the touch barrier by lightly touching him on the arm casually during a conversation. It can be anything; most men enjoy a woman’s light touch on the forearm. It communicates that you accept him. That is the fastest way to communicate that he could show interest in you safely without fear of being attacked or humiliated. (Do not touch men you are not interested in. It works too well to toy with men like that.)

None of these things are considered chasing but they are the classic pre-chase cues that women give to desirable men. All of them are considered ladylike, if not downright charming!

Rickardeb · 2020-12-03T00:49:30+00:00

I say this to be blunt and honest, honey you need to lose weight. 193lbs and 5'2 is not at all attractive to men. As stated previously, men are visual creatures, and weight plays an important factor to this.

Latter_Ad_6840 · 2020-12-02T01:34:02+00:00

Make yourself visible in high value circles. Lots of women meet their bfs in uni for example or in the workplace or in various hobby groups. You have to belong to these as a prerequisite. These men can start conversations with you there. There's lots of success stories with online dating but I still don't think it's the best way to meet people.

Secondly you do have to put effort into your appearance. I once switched from my hair being in a bun in hoodies and sweatpants to nicely dyed/cut hair, and I spent a bunch of time picking out outfits that flatter me, as well as do my makeup and all of a sudden I was getting approached. Not like a crazy amount or anything but still. This was laid out over a few months it wasn't all done in a weekend.

Third having interests and hobbies do make a person more attractive but I still think you should be genuine about it. For instance, do you play an instrument? Showcase that. It can also be a conversation point. Basically try to be an interesting person and allow people to see that side of you. It doesn't have to be an instrument but if you have nothing maybe think about ways you would enjoy making your life more interesting and do that for yourself, it'll make you more interesting to other people too!

For a lot of women it looks like they do nothing to get a mans attention but they are actually doing a lot of work behind the scenes.

Covenisberg · 2020-12-09T19:11:40+00:00

This is going to sound harsh, but lose the weight n they’ll come running. A man just wants a girl that isn’t morbidly obese. That’s literally the only requirement. As a dude with dude friends, NO ONE wants a bowling ball for a gf, it’s just embarrassing. This is coming from a dude that was a 325 lb nerd virgin out of highschool that lost 135 lbs n found that getting women was MUCH easier when I didn’t look like a fuckin mongoloid

Brandonxxxi · 2020-12-02T00:31:08+00:00

“I don’t believe in chasing”: sounds like “I want my reward without the effort and hard work”. Honestly, life is not fair. Some girls gets it easy with the right genetic traits and some gets it hard. Some put in the effort with what they have and did really well compared to some who were blessed with good looks, but decayed over self-neglect. You don’t know what these women that you see as successful did to get far searching for their man. Maybe they did do the chasing for many years and came out well. Who know? It’s the exact same for men too. Some are gifted with better genetics do well, while others are more average and have to find other ways to attract women. Instead of complaining and self-victimizing yourself like you think you’re entitled to a relationship, just do the best with what you have available and know when to cash in the chips. You’re young, so you have much more options compared to older women in their 30s and up. Maybe start thinking about whether you’re aiming too high if you keep approaching men who have pretty much have everything. You have your weight loss goal, so achieve that first before seeking a relationship.

mkeclin · 2020-12-06T06:08:50+00:00

Women that men see as valuable dont need to chase men, they will be approached frequently. You are morbidly obese, make yourself the best version of yourself and men will be al over you.

Title	How does one keep a man's attention without chasing?
Author	SnooDucks4347
Upvotes	12
Comments	13
Date	December 2, 2020 12:00 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/k4xivb/how_does_one_keep_a_mans_attention_without_chasing/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/how-does-one-keep-a-mans-attention-without-chasing.748945 https://theredarchive.com/post/748945

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