How to tell him without being controlling?

TheFeminineFrame · 2025-06-24T14:11:00+00:00

Has he ever given you any reason to distrust him?

I wouldn’t harp on the subject. You’ve already told him you’re a bit worried and he’s invited you along. If you think you can have fun then you can go (even if it’s not your music type).

Otherwise just plan something fun for yourself at home. Get excited for him to leave so you can do girly things you wouldn’t normally with him around!

You don’t really want a man that you have to monitor and give permission. And you don’t want to be that kind of woman. Let this be an exercise in trust and giving up that anxiety control.

Sunshine12e · 2025-06-24T16:31:31+00:00

Let him go. It's his life and he should enjoy his life. Being part of a couple does not mean cutting one's self off from the rest of life and living. If he cheats, then he would have eventually anyway and now you know. More than likely he is just going to go and have a good time and come back home to you, never having any interest in any other girl. When I was a very attractive young woman working in sales, I would meet guys all of the time, who, first thing out of their mouths, was all about their girlfriend (aww, so sweet). Your guy could very likely be one of those types of guys. Not every man is a cheater and many guys with single friends can go out with their single friends and not have any interest in single life for themselves.

Lets_Go_Wolfpack · 2025-06-24T14:08:53+00:00

but if it was me he would be uncomfortable and tell me not to go

Did he say this specifically?

I think not knowing why you’re not going, and his feelings on you going are gojng to keep anyone from giving helpful advice

Trick-Consequence-18 · 2025-06-24T14:19:58+00:00

You’re in the vetting phase. Lightly direct him with praise/appreciation and the tiniest bit of guidance (which you have done) and then observe who he is and how he acts. Then decide if that’s consistent with the kind of man you’d want to be with. Trying to control is a farce and won’t tell you what you need to know, which is how does he act on his own accord. And look to his actions more than his words

AutoModerator · 2025-06-24T14:02:10+00:00

Title: How to tell him without being controlling?

Author mauikm

Full text: My partner plans to go to this electronic festival that’s kinda big here. He went last year (we were not together just distant friends) and it seems he was around a lots of nice girls. He says he’s not going for girls but just to enjoy the music with his friend (who’s in his hoe phase right now). 😬

I’ve shown my worries a bit, but he told me i could come if i wanted to (but he knows it’s not my type of place and i probably won’t come).

I understand people can have their fun expecially in the summer but this is basically a club outside right? I don’t see why a taken man turning 30 with such high values would want to go there? Maybe i had too much high expectations and should trust him? I just don’t get why he would be allowed to go there but if it was me he would be uncomfortable and tell me not to go.

Should i communicate more how i feel or just trust him and accept that he will most likely still go?

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biitchstix · 2025-06-24T18:22:04+00:00

i know the electronic/rave scene is a different culture than the music i listen to (metal) but i’m also going to a music festival this year. fortunately in my case my bf said yes to joining but if he said no i was going regardless. i can promise you going alone and possibly having other men try to chat me up would have been nothing but an annoyance lmao. decent and morally sound people will remain faithful regardless of the environment they’re in.

i think it would be a huge red flag if he didn’t want you there but seeing as he extended the invite and you declined are you really expecting your partner to sit out experiences just because you’re insecure about him being around other women? that’s a FAST way to build resentment.

you can discuss your feelings, specifically if you feel he expects a level of trust he’s not willing to extend to you i think it’s understandable to be a bit frustrated, but at the end of the day you have to let people be themselves. if him going to events like this is a dealbreaker for you that’s fair but requesting he cancel is not especially seeing as you knew he attended festivals before you two even began dating.

Dcave65 · 2025-06-24T19:26:05+00:00

As long as you’re going to turn down girls trips, bachelorette parties and things of that nature than I think it’s perfectly fine to ask him not to go. I’m a man and I would love to hear this from a woman I’m dating, I find the idea of going out to clubs or things like this without your partner to be morally reprehensible, unfortunately society doesn’t agree so I accept this and go with it. I would never forbid a gf of going out or doing something and if she wants to do those things I’ll match it when I have opp to do something similar- just to keep things on an even plane, but I’d be more than happy if we both said we weren’t doing it and our friends would just have to be okay with that

Title	How to tell him without being controlling?
Author	mauikm
Upvotes	0
Comments	12
Date	June 24, 2025 2:02 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1ljbx6w/how_to_tell_him_without_being_controlling/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/how-to-tell-him-without-being-controlling.1555446 https://theredarchive.com/post/1555446

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