I’ve (31F) been on and off with my boyfriend (34M) due to his erratic behavior when drinking including name calling, throwing things, blacking out, being unreasonable and the when he’s sober being understanding for a short period of time, remorseful, and then coming back and saying… well I got upset because you did this. This past time was because I recently cleaned up our bedroom and he’s left dishes in there and one night when he’s been drinking he finished eating, I came upstairs, and he was going to go downstairs. I asked in a calm neutral tone if he could take the bowl downstairs with him. He did said behavior described above. This is the fourth time it’s happened and I came to the realization it would be impossible for us to have children and he still elicit this behavior. I said last night if it happens again I’ll leave. We spent two hours apart and then he came upstairs to then justify again why he got upset to that point because I have no business asking him to take the bowl downstairs or care because I currently do not have the whole house clean.

Happy to hear any feedback on this. Also would love to hear from people who found their person in their 30s and still have children, what should I be working on moving forward to continue building discernment, and just really any words of wisdom please and thank you.