Finally Figured it Out

ivysaurah · 2023-05-08T14:46:19+00:00

I also think that insecure men often cheat/self-sabotage. I think asking for occasional support from a partner with these things is to be expected, but to put that burden onto someone else consistently is a sign of a weakness that needs to be worked on personally, through therapy or other forms of self help. This goes for men and women.

Attempting to feminize yourself within the relationship is good. It’s always good to look to improve yourself because that is what you can control. Just make sure he’s doing the same. He can’t react to criticism from everyone in an earth shattering way longterm. It needs to be addressed the right way.

Secretagenta92 · 2023-05-08T12:41:03+00:00

I had a very caring boyfriend who suffered with insecurities although I learned and voiced my concerns in a feminine way it didn’t help I ended up not sharing how I felt and it caused for walls to build between us. I addressed his insecurities from the start and said although I love him it will make me worry because insecure men tend to self sabotage. He reassured me and told me he will get help and therapy. Fast forward 7 months I found out he was cheating and when confronted he said he was weak and knew I didn’t deserve him, he also said he was worried about missing out. So yeah save yourself the pain and tell him you’ll support him only if he is willing to work on it if not never be afraid to walk away before he does something to make you leave.

reddishrobin · 2023-05-09T07:16:00+00:00

Is a man with low self esteem who has his world broken when you criticise him a good Captain for you to be First Mate with? Have you vetted correctly? What exactly do you mean by "world broken"?

It might be helpful for you to give us some examples of what you have criticised and how he responded.

We can be supportive, but we can't fix our partner's mental health problems or change their character.

DueWeb37 · 2023-05-08T21:12:26+00:00

> anytime I criticize something he’s doing, that breaks his world.

How are you going about criticizing him, and why?

AutoModerator · 2023-05-08T08:46:14+00:00

Title: Finally Figured it Out

Full text: Probably took longer than I want to accept to figure out but my boyfriend has low self-esteem and anytime I criticize something he’s doing, that breaks his world.

I don’t mean to be vague but honestly just looking to hear others experiences. Has your boyfriend or husband experience self-esteem issues? How did you support him best? How did you best bring up issues?

Based on my masculine tendencies that I’ve been working on, I may come off too harsh when voicing my opinion. I want to come off as supportive but not a nag. I was to grow him as an individual because I care about him deeply. And we’ve talked about going to long haul and family and also creating a healthy family environment in the future.

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flower_power_g1rl · 2023-06-13T03:46:52+00:00

My (male) therapist told me the best way to improve your bfs self esteem is to set personal example. Show him how having high self esteem makes you healthy, happy with yourself, and allows you to achieve more things. Make your self esteem unbreakable by criticism and he will follow step by step, over lots of time, and non-linearly.

I was with an insecure bf and eventually I kinda resented him and left.

Title	Finally Figured it Out
Author	Forsaken-Savings4370
Upvotes	7
Comments	8
Date	May 8, 2023 8:46 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/13biwpn/finally_figured_it_out/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/finally-figured-it-out.1218606 https://theredarchive.com/post/1218606

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