Let me preface this by saying that I've only been lurking for about a month and a half so I have a long way to go in terms of being a surrendered wife. Please correct me wherever needed.

TL;DR I do all of the night shifts with our one year old, always have and agreed to it from the beginning. I didn't realize my husband and I had such different ideas on sleep though and am struggling to live up to his expectations without feeling resentful. It's been a big source of tension and crankiness with me that I need to deal with and let go.

Our baby is not a good sleeper. He's always averaged a couple hours less than others the same age and it takes a lot of work. There was a spell where he wouldn't go to sleep after 4:30 am. I am expected to sleep when he does, which is great advice for most people but I just don't nap easily. I remember laying wide awake through preschool naps and getting in trouble for it. I've never been a napper and I don't know how to fix it. If the sun is up I feel wide awake, I even sleep with an eye mask because dawn disturbs my sleep. My husband is the opposite and is of the mindset that everyone should be like him, they just get in their own way. So when I try to explain to him that the 40 minute nap the baby took wasn't enough time for me to fall asleep, let alone actually rest, he gets annoyed. It's not his problem that I'm not taking advantage of the time I have and he's right. I tried going to bed earlier to get an extra hour or two but that caused fights because my husband wants me up spending time with him. So for over a year I've averaged 4-5 hours of sleep a night where I once claimed to only feel rested after nine (quick tangent- he used to call me lazy for all that sleep and brag about how he only needed 6-7 hours. Now he averages 9-10. It's so hard not to call him out on it. Ok I'm done being bitchy). Every time he sleeps in (most days) I feel that spark of anger and resentment. I hate that. I've completely stopped bringing it up and by the time he gets up I've dropped it but I don't want to start my morning like this. And I have no idea how to fix my sleep problem other than wait it out and not have another (I do want another, I just need to figure out my sleep first). Help me not be a sleep deprived harpy!!