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Interesting Dilemma

popsicle30

August 5, 2014
0 upvotes
/r/RedPillWomen
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Post Information
Title Interesting Dilemma
Author

popsicle30

Upvotes 0
Comments 54
Date August 5, 2014 8:54 PM UTC
(11 years ago)
Subreddit Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/2cq2nd/interesting_dilemma/
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/interesting-dilemma.165661
https://theredarchive.com/post/165661
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Comments

[–]HappyWifeLife 5 points6 points7 points 11 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

Next

[–]popsicle30[S] -1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

Well, they have quite a history and he's always been there for her.

[–]HappyWifeLife 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Is this really about a friend or about you?

[–]popsicle30[S] -1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Haha I'm RP , I would dump his ass in a N Y minute.

[–]noheaking 4 points5 points6 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

She should be initiating no contact. This guy is a loser and isn't worth her time.

[–]Lady_Motido 2 points2 points2 points 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Are they 12 yrs old?

[–][deleted] 0 points0 points0 points 11 years ago | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]Lady_Motido 1 points1 points1 points 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Is this even a serious post?

[–][deleted] 0 points0 points0 points 11 years ago | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]Lady_Motido1 point 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

She doesn't owe him anything and if she has a new SO she should cut him out of her life entirely regardless out of respectful to her new SO.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

Sounds like this guy is wasting your friend's time and energy and she's not doing herself any favours by enabling his behaviour. She needs to initiate NC. Block, delete, unfriend on all social media platforms, block his number or even change hers. This seems to be going nowhere and your friend needs to stop enabling her ex and move the hell on.

[–]popsicle30[S] -1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

Ok, I will tell her. I don't think she'll do it unless he agrees .

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

It's not a hostage situation, is it? So there shouldn't be a negotiation here. The relationship is over.

don't think she'll do it unless he agrees

FYI this is what I mean by enabling.

[–]popsicle30[S] -1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

What I believe she wants ....him not to feel like the rug is being pulled. Depression can distort others intentions. She very much likes him and it's very difficult situation.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

She is in a new relationship. Out of respect for a new SO she should cut the ex out of her life like the gangrenous limb that he is. She is not doing herself, her ex or her new man any favors by holding his hand. She can't 'heal' his depression. At some point he will have to help himself by seeking a professional.

Why do you keep making excuses for your friend? I'm starting to suspect there is no 'friend' here.

[–]popsicle30[S] 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

He has mentioned she helped thru some bouts of depression. As she is easy to talk to and they text a lot. She is a very kind, knowledgeable gal....he's lucky she bumped into her that day after 3rd period in the hallway. Add- he's been helpful to her. It's not one sided.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Facepalm

[–]Lady_Motido1 point 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Just walk away dear, there's nothing to see here...walk away...

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

What?

[–]PhantomDream09 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

This doesn't make any sense and it reads like high school drama.

[–]popsicle30[S] -1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I know, they were hs sweethearts!

[–]TheTerrorSquadEndorsed Contributor0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link

hes a loon.

[–]popsicle30[S] -1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link

Haha

[–]TheTerrorSquadEndorsed Contributor1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

he is he sounds like a very imature drama queen. Very needy and a bit crazy lol

[–]popsicle30[S] -1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

Oh, don't go there! lol. She didn't give him enough attention and he would get mad.

[–]Lady_Motido 2 points2 points2 points 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

But she willingly was engaged to him at one point, did he change his behavior suddenly?

[–]popsicle30[S] -1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

From what I understand he's was using the L word and it spooked her. It made him mad and feel less than. She pulled back a little.

[–]Lady_Motido 1 points1 points1 points 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Ok, we're not in high school here, he said he loved her when they were engaged to be married and it spooked her? I don't think either one of them is mentally mature enough to be in a LTR.

[–]popsicle30[S] -1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

AMEN

[–]popsicle30[S] -1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

I want to elaborate on this point, she wanted to slow it down just a bit. Make sure his intentions were clear. He took it the wrong way. They argued and then the anger set in.

[–]Lady_Motido 1 points1 points1 points 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

What intentions? What needed to be cleared?

[–]popsicle30[S] -1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

That he understood what it would mean to say "I love you" accompanied by a commitment and a ring. That he wasn't joking around.

[–]popsicle30[S] -1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago (21 children) | Copy Link

PS She's tried. going NC with him several times and he freaks. She doesn't want to do that bc she worries about his well being.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points 11 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

She has to go 100% no contact or it will be interpreted as a chance the relationship will rekindle. There's no other option

[–]popsicle30[S] -1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

Ugh..what about his support

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

What about it? She's not his girlfriend anymore, she should cut herself off from him entirely

[–]popsicle30[S] -1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

Easy to say. She has a real soft spot for him.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

so what do you want from us then? Let her keep dangling him along until he stalks and kills her.

[–]popsicle30[S] -1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

No, I respect your opinions. I will share with her and have her talk to him.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Did you not get the part about NO CONTACT?

[–]popsicle30[S] 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Yep , I heard you. Thanks

[–]LibbyCarrots1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link

When going No Contact, it's like Yoda says: "Do or do not. There is no 'try'."

That means you block this person on all social media. That means you list their # as DO NOT ANSWER THIS PERSON IS CRAY in your phone, and when they use someone else's phone to call, you do the same to that number (edit: you also hang up IMMEDIATELY). Or you get a new number, and only give it to people who you know will not give it to Cray Person. You send them ONE email telling you that you don't want to speak to them anymore, then set up a folder for just their emails. If they make threats (against you, against themselves) you take those threats to the proper authorities and let them sort out the crazy.

No quality man is going to go for a lady who is trying to hand-hold a crazy because "What about his feeeeelllings!?" If she really wants to move on, this is the only course.

Edited to add: If the loony person calls 100 times, and you answer on 101, you have just taught them that you will answer on call 101. You can BET that next time, they will push even harder.

You're trying to train them that you're no longer a source of delicious, delicious attention.

[–]popsicle30[S] -1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Good point, she has a current bf.

[–]HappyWifeLife 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

good grief, why is she even entertaining this guy when she's already moved on.

[–]PhantomDream09 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

His health is not her responsibility. As long as she lets him hang around, he will continue doing whatever he can to keep her attention and use whatever means he can to be part of her life. They're not together. She needs to cut him out of her life and stop caving.

If she continues to crumble, he will continue to do what he has always done. Forgiveness is one thing, being a doormat is another.

[–]popsicle30[S] -1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

Well, they live 2 hours away. So, it's phone calls. They don't see each other any more. They've known each other since 8th grade. He's recently received a dx and thinks they she may have caused a bit of a snap when they had a big fight. He needs stability, as we all do.

She has a steady bf now, so this is strictly a friendship , he seems agreeable. Is that still a doormat?

[–]Lady_Motido 1 points1 points1 points 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

When you say he has recently received a dx, do you mean a diagnosis for a mental illness?

[–]popsicle30[S] -1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

I don't want to say.....it depends on how you look at it. I will say he's had depression in the past and has been open about that. I think the depression effects his decision making process. I believe she recognized it before he did.

[–]Lady_Motido 1 points1 points1 points 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

No, I don't care to know what the actual illness is, I just wanted to know what dx was an acronym for.

[–]popsicle30[S] 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Dx= diagnosis

[–]popsicle30[S] -1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

I believe he has bi polar.

[–]Lady_Motido 1 points1 points1 points 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

My god woman! I said I didn't care what illness he has... I'm done here...

[–]popsicle30[S] 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I thought you wanted to know.

[–]Lady_Motido1 point 11 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Tried? if she doesn't do more than try her only other option will be to babysit this guy forever.

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