I've been thinking a lot about my boundaries and what I would want in a future LTR, which led me to some confusion that I hope I can get some sense and clarification on.
In my previous LTR one of the biggest sources of tension between my ex and I was that he had a lot of friends that were girls who he would hang out with sometimes alone or sometimes in a group, he would also text them etc. I was aware of this going into the relationship (that his friend group was mixed). He was pretty transparent with me and told me who he was hanging out with and when. However, it always bothered me that he had friends that were girls and that he was pretty close to them. It also bothered me when he would text them. I told him I was uncomfortable with this, and I didn't like it and wished he could distance himself from his female friends because it made me feel insecure. He said he understood but that I didn't have a right to control him in that way, and just eliminate people he has been friends with for awhile just because i'd feel better. He said he would distance himself a bit but not cut them out completely. This issue had come up with us often and I could never get myself to feel completely ok with it or feel secure. I cut out male friends without even him asking me to and I kind of thought he'd do the same. I really don't believe male/females can be just friends.
So, what I'm wondering is, was it rational for me to want him to cut out female friends from his life or was that controlling as he said? Is there a middle ground? I don't want to have the same conflict in a future relationship as I noticed a lot of men have female friends whether close or not as close, especially in this generation.
What do you ladies think, what do you do with your SO's.
edit: I watched this video that was sort of about the topic, do you guys agree with that he says or is it BS: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zOy4cFzWz1Q
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