Knowing when to let go

zyex12 · 2025-01-04T05:29:34+00:00

Idk sounds like not the best relationship off the start now how you feel about the hookup he had when you two started dating is on you I can’t tell you how to feel but for me that wouldn’t fly. Personally if your having this many issues this early on just imagine when the actual big issues start coming up this should be the honey moon phase things should be much easier rn

soulful-me · 2025-01-05T17:58:56+00:00

you said in a reply that you cry a lot, that's a red flag, if you truly see the potential of this relationship, I suggest an ICF certified relationship coach even if online sessions, you need to work on your forgiveness & he needs work too ,

Ok_Lychee1258 · 2025-01-06T20:37:59+00:00

It was the first date. You weren't exclusive. You didn't know where things were headed. He was still free to date around. Sure, it would have been much better if he was fully invested into just you, but that's not what happened, and this is not a fairy tale.. You have accepted this, and he has committed, but you still harbor resentment. That's something you have to work through. I can't really fault him for this.

With respect to everything else, you have some valid concerns that we can't address on a forum without much more info. What I see is that your heart and mind are not in agreement. There could be some trauma bonding. Either way I would suggest therapy not because there's something wrong with you but just so that you can understand yourself better and learn to set appropriate boundaries and know if this is what you really want or if you just don't want to let go and will see this as a personal failure.

Think-Ad-5840 · 2025-01-07T04:56:10+00:00

This stuff is always going to be in the back of your mind, it’s the annoying little reminders that turn into fights, unfortunately. ☹️

AutoModerator · 2025-01-04T05:11:54+00:00

Title: Knowing when to let go

Author Cheesycatbiscuit

Full text: Hi everyone, long time lurker and first time posting here. I find the advice and insight everyone gives here very knowledgable so hopefully I can get some advice on my situation as well.

I’m in a relationship (23F) with (25M) for a year now. We recently had a rough patch where he betrayed my trust 2 months ago and I have been having a hard time trusting him since. I really love him and think we’re compatible in everything except for his vices (gambling, smoking) I don’t do any of those but he did try to limit it around me.

I have a hard time trusting his words and his actions again so I constantly doubt him and it’s putting a strain in our relationship. Where he’s tired of trying to prove to me that he won’t hurt me again. We have this cycle of where i’m back and fourth with him because i’m scared he will hurt me again.

When I get in my thoughts, I tend to put two and two together and just stay in this negative outlook I have with him because I can’t accept the fact that someone who loves me would do me like that.

To add more, after our first date, I found out (well caught him) that he hooked up with this girl he met online before (it was a one time thing) and since then, I have always thought/felt that I was just a second choice to him. I stand firm with my values that I don’t do hookups/casual flings etc and he knew that so he did that apparently. But other than that, he has been committed and loyal to me.

Am I wrong or a relationship is supposed to be all good in the first few months? The stage where we both vet each other/honeymoon stage basically. The fact that there is so many issues/problems from him when it’s just been a year makes me so sad.

Is it time for me to move on and start fresh? Resentment is not good for any relationship and i’m aware of that. We both know how we feel about each other.. I just have trust issues that I know I need to work on. Other than that we are good.

When is it too late? Is forgetting better than forgiving here?

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Title	Knowing when to let go
Author	Cheesycatbiscuit
Upvotes	8
Comments	10
Date	January 4, 2025 5:11 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/1ht74su/knowing_when_to_let_go/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/knowing-when-to-let-go.1540292 https://theredarchive.com/post/1540292

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