There was a thread where we got to a tangent on the importance of viewing your partner as a priority in your life. So what does this mean? How do we do so?

Wait. First let's see why it's important. Anything requiring much effort requires good reason.

I believe that it's wisdom to come to realize that the most important thing in life is the people close to you. It's easy to maintain our best friends and our family (if you're blessed with good people despite never choosing them!)

Extensibly, I figure that the reason so many relationships fail is that they aren't taken as seriously although being so much more difficult. People can view having a partner as the things we can get from them, be it sex, money, status, emotional gratification, even children.

Like many problems with modern life, crass materialism is the core of this (yes, some people even view their children as possessions, or narcissistic extensions of themselves rather than unique would-be independent adults).

A partner isn't a possession. They are in ways an extension of our 'selves', but not the kind sent to serve our egos. And a relationship is a living thing too. Feed it well, consider it's various needs, or it dies.

I think the theory is rather simple; treat that person like they're the most important aspect of your life (assuming they're worthy as are you) The practice is hard.

It's like navigating some bizarre terrain populated with Navi. These are strange and foreign customs and values, indeed. can't just put on a helmet and become 'one with them', so learning their language is the best we can do.

Is what's good for us good for our SO? Yes and no. How do you tell? Men like to make women happy but that doesn't neccessarily make them so. I figure if its possible to encourage a man to think self-interestedly (if he's got you in that value category) it's a good way to prioritize his well-being. Find out what he really wants out of life.

It's easy enough to get the attitude down. The only other way I can think of to prioritize a relationship is the obvious, the time. You always make time for them, to see them and speak to them, answer their texts/calls.

About being shit-scared. I know I really care about this one. I'm shit scared to invest but I try hard despite it. The fear hurts. The fear of over-investing and getting hurt. Probably irrational. Any words of advice for me in this regard? I know how to deal with negative emotions I need something else. I need some tools. Maybe someone to tell me that my investment would not be rejected or scare him off. If that's true?

"The more people you love, the weaker you are'' -Cersei Lannister. It's cynical, but it's true. Love is compromising. It's one big, scary compromise. Don't know about you, but I'd feel more stoic in a shark cage off in the great white's fave South African coast.