~ archived since 2018 ~

My spouse passed away.

March 6, 2022

Hi everyone.

A week ago, I got the most unimaginable news. This past week has been an absolute nightmare. This is the person I’ve loved for almost a decade; my entire 20’s. I feel like he shaped me into the person I am today. And he was way too young. 46.

I’m not sure what I’m looking for here. Support, maybe. If anyone has any similar experiences, that might help. I’m open to any and all advice, etc.

As far as the future, today I’m realizing I need to build myself and grow into the person he would want me to become. The person I know I can become. Work on being alone. Work on the anxious attachment style I have, and my codependent nature. Better myself in all ways: mental, physical, spiritual, emotional.

Thank you for listening. I only have brief moments of clarity. I feel like I’ll never have anyone that will ever love me the way he did.

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Post Information
Title My spouse passed away.
Author effegg1031
Upvotes 185
Comments 16
Date March 6, 2022 4:36 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit /r/RedPillWomen
Archive Link
Original Link

[–]kneesofthetrees 37 points38 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I’m so sorry to hear this. I pray you can find security and peace.

[–]ABQ_COgirl 55 points56 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I’m so sorry. I’m in the same boat, my fiancé passed away last Friday. He was only 41. I’m so grateful to have had him in my life.

[–]TheBunk_TB 8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

As I said above, I hope that many people can recognize those that did it the right way. I send sympathies to your family/extended family.

[–]Jenneapolis2 Stars 22 points23 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I’m so sorry to hear this. While not at all the same, my father passed away suddenly without warning when I was 18 and he was 43. From that experience all I can say is don’t think about the future right now, think one day at a time, one minute or hour even. Don’t worry about what you are going to do down the road, focus on healthy things that give you even a brief moment of happiness whatever that be a TV show, a walk, or favorite food. Start with very little things moment by moment. I’m so sorry.

[–]mina1200 11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I’m so sorry:( he will be so so proud of whoever you become x

[–]kitterkatty 9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thus is one of those things where preparing is so necessary but daunting. How should a wife cope financially and mentally.

[–]Glittering-Version50 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm so sorry for your loss... I can't imagine how hard it must be for you. I have seen my mother in a situation similar to yours. I hope you can have the courage she did to walk through this and even if not, ik I may not be of much help but I'm sure you can rely on a few of us here even if it's merely for some emotional support.

[–]scallopkidEndorsed Contributor 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

About 8 years ago I lost a boyfriend who I had expected to be with for my whole life. What comforted me the most was to spend time with his close friends and share stories about him. It gave me a chance to talk about him to a very invested audience and hear new stories about him that felt so familiar as the person I had loved.

Other than that, there was really nothing that made it better except time. Try to stay hydrated. Let yourself sleep as much as you can. Go outside every day. I'm so sorry 💔

[–]iMakeGreatDeals 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

My friend's husband passed away last year, and my friend has said many times how she has gotten so much out of the book 'Hot Young Widows Club' and mainly the forum community that has grown around it. Maybe this will help.

I will pray for your strength and courage x

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sending love your way.

[–]TheBunk_TB 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I hope that people recognize those that "did it the right way". Your family and extended family have our sympathies.

[–]AlwaysUpvoteBunny 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I’m so sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine the pain you’re feeling right now. For what it’s worth, I’m no therapist but I work with grief stricken people everyday. That fog, that disorganized mental state you’re living in at the moment is so normal, and shall pass. And maybe come back. But pass again. Hang in there, and rely on your support system if you have one.

My DMs are open if you need to chat. Even if it’s to tell me about him.

[–]katherine83 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I’m so so sorry

[–]IrisEstelle99[🍰] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I am so sorry to hear this. I hope you have the support from loved ones during this hard time. If you want to talk you can always send me a message.

[–]winchester-rose 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I am very sorry for your loss. I have no advice. I just wanted to offer my condolences and let you know it’s always ok to grieve at your own pace in your own way.

[–]Great_Lawyer_2282 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I support you. Please take time and spend time with those around you. Even if you want to message any of us 💛

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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